Turning 23 on the 22nd so having a party on Friday the 13th...savvy?

I am ever so sober but I've ingested an inordinate amount of caffeine so tired as I am I can't quite drift off. Tonight is a bit of a blur but here are my cliff notes, for those of you who weren't quite as sober.

It started with a standard stop off at Tescos where I purchased far too much proteinous food. We then progressed to Swapnal's. Subsequent to unloading my shtuff out of the car I proceeded to hand him something wrapped in bubble wrap.

Hot nuts

Does what it says on the tin. There's actually a little message on the tin as to why they've named these nuts so. I then hand him something else wrapped in bubble wrap. This was something I'd thought about at great length. Swapnal likes hot, spicy things and he's rather partial to alcomahol. Of course I came up with chilli vodka! After extensive research, utilising the methodology of G.O.O.G.L.E I found that most recipes recommended infusing your vodka for several weeks. I had 1 week...so I had to get a little creative to ensure a sufficient kick was present.

I finely chopped several chillies and added them to a bottle of vodka. I then proceeded to intermittently agitate and heat the bottle to ensure the speed of infusion. Unconvinced that this would do the trick I invested in  a bottle of this:

Scoville Scale

Of course I had no idea how much of this to add so I poured a couple of drams out and added a couple of drops. Thinking to myself "How hot can it be?" I swirl the concoction, so as to evenly distribute the angry looking dark red liquid. I then swiftly draw it in to my mouth and swill it about. It is at that moment that I experience the hottest thing I have ever tasted. Not only was the burn epic it lasted for about 15 minutes and I could feel it all the way down to my stomach. So I add a single drop to a litre and take the extract along incase it's not enough.

Waiting around for the rest of the party to arrive we ended up playing poker. James wins, he appears to be making a habit of that. This won't do at all. Mark has disappeared home under the guise of grabbing a shower and change of clothes. But we all knew he was waiting so he could arrive with Mandaz. Oh and Tammy!

Mark left work at around 17:00 and he arrived at around 19:40. Not gonna analyse it, just pointing out something of a temporal anomaly. Upon arrival he starts tucking in to the pizza that Swapnal had kindly purchased for the party. Which somewhat confused the assembled masses as we had been informed by text that he had just frequented the chippie down the road. I don't think I'll ever understand Mark Taylor, an enigma wrapped in a pouch.

The night is documented here in photo form scroll through as you read!, access may be an issue if you are not within my friendship trigrams on facebook.

Vicky arrives and briefly says hello I inquire about where she works. I remember her vaguely mentioning the Co-op so I inquire and she explains using Sainsburys as a reference point. I once went to look at a Mazda Takuya down there the salesman knew the owner of the accountancy practice I'd just finished some work experience at.

I am then victim of some social jujitsu, getting someone to talk about themselves. The question is flipped and I'm asked what do I do? Well I do lot's of things but it can't really be considered a role. Consulting Swapnal he tries to explain what I've been doing lately, reconfiguring data. But that's not what I was doing 4 months ago. And what I was doing four months ago isn't what I was doing from December 2012 - May 2013. All for the same umbrella of companies. It's only confusing when I try to explain it to someone else. Vicky brings out the awesomeness that is face cake! It's a cake, already awesome, with the birthday boys face on it!

It is now that Eleanor and Mr. Manchester arrive. First name Josh last name Manchester, or at least that's what Eleanor would have you believe. Sound enough lad even if we didn't really get a chance to chat. Now we load up some shots of the chillified vodka. The general opinion is that it's horrible. Myself and my fellow craftsman thought it had a nice burn to it. Ooh and Ellegator gives me a birthday card! It has a tash on it! In my infinite wisdom I left it round Swapnal's house :-/

I'm flying high after that shot and Swapnal cracks open a bottle of Cobra King. I'm making my way to the bin deposit the remains of recently devoured chicken thigh and am frozen in my tracks by the possibility of a cork to the face. Swapnal being the gentleman that he is grants me safe passage before unleashing the cork.

After a little more chatter beer pong inevitably rears it's head. The form has been slightly modified to include my devastating chilli concoction. The girls in a fit of surreptitious sensibleness had hidden it away! But Swapnal engaged his craftometer to full craftiness and extracted it from whence it was hidden.

Expression on display: hmmm with a hint of trepidation?

There is a dry run to demonstrate how this whole thing is to go down and then the games begin! First blood to the girls and Swapnal manfully downs some beer. Mark gets the ball in and Amandas has to down a beer but she gets her own back immediately and Mark takes his time with his beer. You can't rush Mark, he likes to savour...everything! There are a flurry of misses but then Swapnal lands the ball in one of the shmaller cups! They contain the pain of vodka that has been infused with chilli extract, fresh chilli, cinnamon and mace. Vicky downs it like a champ. It is now that the formations of cups begin to change. They morph into a big back line with the one remaining small cup on at the front for the girls. Mr. Manchester gets one in and Eleanor has to down one, followed by Vicky. The lads have a slim lead. Then this happens:


It's all level, three big cups and one small cup left to go. The formation changes again and Mark is not a fan. He is berated for moaning so he busts out his impression of Tammy, it's not received well. As chance would have it we end up with the last two cups being the tiny ones that contain the pain. After many rounds of fruitless ponging an executive decision is taken, to transfer the contents of the smaller cups into a bigger one. Thus hopefully bringing this epic battle to a conclusion sooner rather than later. The girls win and celebrate in adequately exuberant fashion.

A little talking here n there is punctuated with a pork pie. These particular pies contain pickle thus offsetting the richness of the awesome porky filling. I lie I actualy consumed two pies! Mark makes his inevitable way towards Swapnal's laptop to fiddle with the playlist. This has lead to some rather epic playlist beef in the past. But this time he has Amanda with him for back up. They look so happy crouched over fiddling with the playlist that no one wants to risk unsettling this microcosm. For some reason or other Amanda says why. But not a why as you or I would utter it. It was said in a manner that only Mark does, she's taken on one of his key characteristics. This confirms our belief that being around Mark will eventually turn you into him.

David makes a remark about his IQ. This brings Eleanor in swinging for the fences as intelligence, like everything, is relative. I think we're on the same page but I twist and turn to keep the discourse going. We live in a literate society so if you can do that well then you are considered "intelligent". But back in the day when hunting was the way to stay alive the fastest and strongest were the most "intelligent". The scale changes based on the situation. But it boils down to problem solving. At least that's my simple spin on it :-D

Eleanor grows weary and demands another game. Arrogance is simple and random. David assumes his customary tossing duties. He's a champion doncha know! Some baseless accusations of cheating lead to me taking on the mantle of tosser. It leads to a lot of drinking. I remember I came with a secondary mission but my camera lacks the required battery power to fulfill it :-(

There is talk of going in to town. I'm still on the mend so I say my goodbyes and prep myself to depart. During the dying moments of this gathering Amanda falls backwards onto the couch! Outstanding :-D I drive home and crack all my joints, down a protein shake and get to bed. The next day Swap posts this lovely pic:

Face cake, hot nuts, hot vodka, desktop drummage and many a card

The night is documented here in photo form scroll through as you read!, access may be an issue if you are not within my friendship trigrams on facebook.

Twenty seven

It's quite the number! A perfect cube, the atomic number of an isotope of aluminium and my age. I'm writing mostly because I'm worried that the sciatic leg pain that signals the progression of a prolapsed disc may be back. I have some sore hammys. I don't know if that's because I went back to work and the seating arrangement is disagreeing with them or if I have a bulging disc or cartilage that's pressing on my sciatic nerve thus causing pain :-S

I don't want to do this all over again! But I've been so very good! Not heavy lifting, all my physio, sensible driving! What more can I do. If it goes it goes but it's such a hassle you would not believe! Ooh it might be because I decided to try some tricep dips on a frame, that is intended to aid one onto and off of the toilet.

The locked position I had to hold my legs in may account for the hamstring ache. I managed to scratch my leg on one of the screws as well :-S Ah well wait and see eh?

So how did I celebrate my birthday. I'll tell yee with some lovely home made cake, baked my my wonderful mother. Way too many biscuits and a dinner of pizza, chicken wings and fries! Now that's what I call dinner ! :D

Oh I was back at work and in the company of my irrepressible office. They were, more or less, as I'd left them. They did have a lovely new map on the wall my desk had been cleared of all the necessary post it notes I keep on it. A reminder of a time gone by in a windowless office. My posts had become a little introspective tending towards the more heavy aspects of my personality e.g. the retirement of my 10 year old running shoes and the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor who.

Ah facial hair! It was the last week of Movember when I returned and several members of the office had been furiously growing their facial hair. I had been tending my beard for 12 weeks when I strolled back into the office so I had them all beat hands down, had a head start and it's not like it was a race. But if it was...WINNING! I didn't get to see Director Drew's effort in person as he was off when I was there and I was off when he was there. All in all was rather impressed by the commitment :-D

I've held onto my tash, I quite like it.

The week ended with a party round Swapnal's. I was off the ale as my balance is iffy at best and I headed home at around 22:00. But before that the master of disaster, Mark Taylor, was in shining form. This started off when I offered him a lift to Tesco, standard supply run. He got uber excited and started describing how he doesn't feel safe whilst in Swapnal's car. I was dubious as young Swapnal is sensible in comparison to Mark. But this assumption was shattered when I witnessed him swerving around an old man in the carpark. What I forgot to factor in was that this is pretty much his first time behind the wheel since passing his test. I drove pretty much the same way for a few years after getting my licence.

This carried on when we got back to Swapnal's house on Eastbourne Street. Mark was nice enough to carry everything back to the house from the car, made him feel ever so manly. Bit of shuffling about and we settle down to a social game of poker. This is when I met Swapnal's new housemate...I've misplaced his name! I putting this down to being shattered. Anyways before we started playing Vicky gets home from work, won't be joining us as she's off to a dinner party! Now that is proper grown up shtuff! Gives me a hug and I catch the unmistakable scent of hugo boss. <Have just been informed that it was in fact Roberto Cavalli>

Poker begins and there is some initial testing of the water. I thought Mark would have learnt somethings since the last time we played. but no he hasn't the foggiest. Which makes him completely unreadable. Also means he crashes out first. Swapnal also surfaces with a pair of glasses, I didn't know he wore glasses. And that's because he doesn't need glassed but inspired by Tinie Tempah he's rocking the decorative specs. He rolls out and it's around this time Roger arrives. He's brought along some rather special beer!

In a box!

Had to take mine home as I am alcohol free for the time being...Not that I miss it but this looks a bit special so I kinda want to see what all the fuss is about! The game winds down till it's a head to head between two of us. So really social because there are just two guys involved :P Things degrade into blind all ins eventually resulting in my victory!

No money on the line so I won a pile of chips which were instantaneously tidied away.

The evening progresses to the inevitable drinking games. Something I suck at but owing to my ample frame I can take the hit. It's arrogance and Mark is not doing so well. Arrogance in a nutshell:

1. Pour as much of your drink into a glass in the middle as you want.
2. Someone else flips a coin and you guess the heads or tails.
3. If you guess right the glass passes on to the next person in the circle.
4. If you guess wrong you down whatevers in the glass.

So as you can see it's a game of chance but the gods of gaming are not on Marks side and he's worse for wear after a few rounds. Probs doesn't help that there are only three of them in the circle. Around this time Leona and Donna arrive. Along with jelly shots something I've got extensive experience with but I keep schtum. It's always fun to watch folk tussle with friction X-D

Time for cake

Delicious hot or cold, fyi.

But that's not all I also get given an expertly wrapped gift, Swapnal informs me Vicky is responsible for the wrapping as he is somewhat of a novice . I progress to reveal this awesomeness that is The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil!

Yep my actual thumb, yet again.

Beer pong! Mark is teamed with the ladies, naturally. They lose in epic style. Then there is some chat about your ideal woman. Now this is a topic I've given a lot of thought to and I didn't want commandeer the conversation. I have a tendency to make things wayyyyy too heavy with my over analytical/obsessive way of thinking. So after some more chat about a threeway, shop, Mark, Amandas, gelatin, acidity, closing, winman etiquette etc. I decide it's time for me to go. I am epically tired so I down a glass of coke so as to keep myself perky for the journey home.

It was then that I remembered I was wearing a scrum cap, from my days as a terrifying front row forward for Market Rasen and Louth RUFC! I'd brought along two other hats as well, both of which I'd intended to wear and completely forgotten about :-S.

After getting home I discover that it is SDRG's last bout with LBRG tomorrow so she was understandably saving her energy. Turns out Phil Jupitas was commentating and even had a bit of a post bout spoon with the squad! Mucho jealous on two accounts there i.e. they got to spoon with big Phil and he got to spoon with them! Ooh this leads me to a slightly obscure conversation, of sorts, I had with one of SDRG's friends.

The gist of a drawing posted echoed Neil Gaiman's advice in the speech, "make good art". She actually said "If life gets you down - draw." Problem is I can't draw :-S So what does an artistically challenged individual do when they feel down? Well I listen to cheesy upbeat themes and, hand on heart, I dance :-O Now I suck at dancing but it sure gets me out of whatever funk I'm in.


Some songs that get me up :-D.

My shoes...

I don't buy things too often. The stuff that matters that is: shoes, coats, shirts, ties etc. I've had my last pair of trainers since I was 16, that's over a decade of use!

Mizuno Wave Renegades, they don't make them any more!

As you can see the inside is nicely worn and the outside has started giving up. They have been placed upon a stool that came free with a bed my parents bought in 1996, I think my tendencies are hereditary! As you can imagine these shoes have seen a lot of action. I purchased them on the advice of a family friend when I decided to get fit back when I was 16. Dr. Varah, a fellow fitness nut, told me that because of my flat feet I should invest in some decent running shoes.

So I pop by the Lincolnshire Runner and they hand me a pair of these. And so they stayed with me through my travels abroad: Sri Lanka, Dubai, Switzerland, France and even Scotland! I wonder how many miles they've travelled?!

Clicky for more dets!

They were nice enough to give me a 10% discount because I popped back to get replacements for my knackered decade old shoes :-D The first place they would have frequented would have been the gym. Not just any gym but the gym where I went from being a super strong 16 stone freak to being an uber muscular 20 stone beast. It was the station in Sleaford, not where I gained my super strength but where I grew.


They've been on runs, walks, treks, jogs. They went with me to university, both times! And beyond...I attended both double headers wearing these shoes. Yep They've been with me a mighty long time. But this week I wave goodbye to them. Sadly it looks like the parting of yet another of my old office from Lincoln. SDRG, the Roller Girl who Draws in Secret, is moving back home. I'm working on a surprise so I do hope she comes to my partay on Friday, would be the best place to pull off such a surprise :-).

Did you watch the video? If not watch it now, you get to hear my voice! AND see my left hand! I like to take things apart. Never happier than when I'm waist deep in bits and pieces that I've dismantled. I honestly have no idea why I love it so much, not one for putting things back together again. My ultimate goal is to disassemble a car that doesn't work. Followed by reassembling it and getting it to start. Reckon I'd be a proper man if I were to do that :-D

Ooh eck I'd better mention that I turned up at work today after a twelve week absence to find a bottle of wine in my drawer! For being employee of the month? And as it turns out Local hit their target of 20, they actually exceeded it. This earnt us all two bottles of wine each! So back one day and up three bottles of wine...I should take more time off work sick. Ah for the first time in three months I wore formal trousers! For all that time I was wearing trackie bottoms and shorts, good times :-D

Being back in the middle of nowhere in an office peddling dairy, there's only one other place I'd rather be. And that's the old office, windowless and filled to the rafters with legends. I'm working on something to try and do the old place justice :-D

Doctor Who 50th anniversary

Little dose of awesome Google provided :-D

This is all about the 50th anniversary special! So as you can imagine it is chock-full of spoilers, you have been warned ladies and gentlemen. I should also warn you that it's a disjointed mess of thoughts that I scribbled down immediately after watching it. If you've seen it I think you'll be able to follow. Otherwise best to give this one a wide berth!

Thoughts

Loved it got all choked up when they showed up to help the warrior push the button. Help him bare that particularly heavy cross etc. I was ready to scream conspiracy when all three of them were justifying pushing the button. But in superb, flying by the seat of their pants, style they came up with a solution.

Tonnes of epic moments!

The best had to be the summoning all 13 doctors! Crikey that took some doing. How cross did the 13th look!

So the Doctor is going to bring Gallifrey back?

Any one think ghost of christmas future when the moment was gonna show the Doctor his future?

Why bad wolf? was that ever explained I'm being lazy as I'm not in the mood to research and provide answers. I am convinced that at least one of the people who'll end up reading this will know the answer. I encourage you to share but alas I think you shan't as you like knowing things I do not! Means there is scope for Billie Piper to pop back.

Tennant's suit looks a little tight...only in the woods. It looked a little taught, maybe he was puffing his chest out.

Welsh lizzie the first and they got MARRIED. He sure does put it about a bit!

Reversing the polarity :P hehe amazing.

Nicked from here

So the moment wasn't used, so it's still out there...the question for me is where? Did the Doctor keep hold of it? Or has it been let go, it's sentient seems cruel to lock it up. Wonder if it can be locked up, seeing as it could whip around space and time willy nilly.

Running over Daleks with the TARDIS! That was proper old school, I've never seen any of the original stuff from back in the day. But I did watch the ultimate guide on the BBC. Featured all the companions and knocking a Dalek's block off!

The three Doctors turning to face Clara! I'd seen an interview with Jenna Louise Coleman saying she was fangirling a bit especially when all three of them turned to face her.

Clara's northern twang! Anyone else noticed she sounds rather neutral but shifts into northern mode from time to time? Wonder if that's intentional?

Urgh she is devastatingly pretty...pretty much for the first five minutes that's all I could think!

When was Clara at UNIT? Again being lazy :-P

Why did he park so far away?

Locked door, genius screwdriver stuff!

The calculations!

Compensating for something.

Excited at a wedding.

What are One Direction doing at the after party? Who the hell shoe horned them in?
Scratch that the delay was hilarious! Around 23 minutes into the after party :D

I rarely bother to watch things on the big tv downstairs, seems like too much hassle when the entire world can be funnelled to my room via my computer. But this was an exception :-D

Time, space and other things that keep me up all night long

So an old fear resurfaced, facing my own mortality, yet again. Cyclical thing that swings around when I have a moment, or several months, to stop and think. From time to time I accept it and feel rather awesome but then the fear of the inevitable ceasing of my conciousness sets in. Mmmmmm aren't you glad you decided to read this!

QUOTE from Bill Hicks:

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”

Some interesting stuff there, for me at least. The life being a dream and the idea that we are one conciousness is something I'll put to one side for now. Matter as energy well that's straight from Einstein and that guy was pretty on the ball. I mean he was from Germany, had crazy hair, a moustache and hated the press.

I am talking of course about E=MC^2. Are we all savvy with that equation? This is 2013 so most of you likely have a functional understanding of basic physics but indulge me whilst I have a crack at explaining it :-D 

E - Energy

M - Mass

C - Speed of light

^2 - Raised to the power two i.e. squared

The equation says ever so succinctly that energy of an object is equal to it's mass multiplied by the speed of light squared. In essence this expresses that mass is a form of energy. Tracing this back to some year nine physics, energy can not be created or destroyed it can only be converted from one form to another. In the subatomic world the mass of particles can change into energy in the form of light, heat or movement. And vice versa energy can transform into matter.

?

Agreed that matter is energy? If not hit me up and we can discuss it at length over a bucket of your favourite food, I rarely eat from buckets but when I do it's always much more than I should. I'm gonna steal some spiel from someone who I suppose has been my greatest source of spiritual teachings. I am by no means a total believer but the logic is what gets me. 

So what did you have for breakfast? No really tell me what you had...eggs, toast, cereal, fruit etc. Now by tomorrow a certain percentage of the eggs, toast, cereal etc. has become part of you. Digestion has converted and chickens egg into a human being, well into a bit of one any ways. Trace it back further and you'll see that the body is an accumulation of food, air, water that has been mixed up, broken down and rebuilt into human form. It's a roundabout way of saying what is you is just a combo of chemicals that were something else before and will, eventually, become something else again.

Click here to see from whence this came...

As you can see a complex chemical system that works wonderfully to create the whimsy that is you, me and everything else! That is pretty much all we are, nothing magical...which made me a little sad at first. We're just another part of the universe, that rises and falls like the rest of it. But unlike the rest of it we've got something special. I'm not talking soul, spirit, qi etc. What I'm talking about it discretionary nature, I've talked about it before here. Take a look around at the rest of creation and see what it does. Trees grow towards the sun, tigers hunt alone, wolves hunt in packs and so on. The rest of it, it would appear, has it's nature predetermined at birth.

But humans are not, indeed there are tendencies that are genetic. E.g. I'm fantastically flexible despite my lack of regular stretching, my family have a higher probability of getting heart disease and diabetes. Oh and there is also my male pattern baldness! It's not all doom and gloom I absorb nutrients really well, maths comes naturally, my hair is curly and as Bernie Mac would say I'm blessed :-O . Yep so as you can see somethings come easy or are more probable because of our genetics but we've go sooooo much freedom it scares me!

Twas last week that another awesome fellow departed the company I work for. He was my manager, mentor and an all round top bloke. He taught me a lot about detail, planning, strategy, pricing, management, disputes, plotting, scheming, wit and having a collection of excellent shirts for every occasion. I have one such shirt...I'm working on it! I was toying with the idea of throwing a pic of him up on here but I decided against it. Don't think a pic could do the geez's awesomeness justice.

Ooh I got some nifty schuff in the post recently. I ordered it so I wasn't a surprise but my birthday is coming up so you know, not saying you should buy me something...moving on. I just remembered that I forgot to floss, gah my gums! Two t shirts and a milk bracelet, yep I work in the dairy industry and I've purchased a milk bracelet. I am that cool.

I think I've come to the end of my thoughts for now...I have run out of things to say :-S Oh no wait it was late at night and I was just sleepy!

See it all here

I am now the proud owner of a postman pat breaking bad T featuring Jess(ie) the cat! Genius :-D But I also purchased another T. This one features a man who has scissors for hands, a film I am yet to watch all the way through from start to finish. It seemed to be always on during my childhood but I never saw it all the way through. I am of course going on about scissorhanded Edward. What pun could play with such a man as the subject? Rock, paper...you can see where I'm going with this right? If you thought or said scissors well done give yourself a pat on the back. But if you were thinking or saying scissors, lizard, Spock then I'd like to take this opportunity to declare my undying love for you right here :-P

Ketchup, Tardis amongst other tings

You may already be aware that the 50th anniversary episode of Dr. Who is just around the corner, been waiting for it so long I think I don't realise just how close it is! There have been loads of things bandying about :-D Amongst them is a quiz to determine which companion you are. Take it here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/paulaersly/quiz-which-doctor-who-companion-are-you do take it and then jump into the discussion below :-D or not I know most of the hoard are too lazy to leave a comment :-P

Originally posted by Eleanor she'd be fuming if she got no acknowledgement for starting this debate.

Beard is now big enough to hold not one but two hair styling devices!

Wax on, wax off

And so it begins. It is the month of my birth, what month was I born in folks? If you're assuming that I was born in the month that this was published then maybe you should consider what assumption is the brother of? And that is of course...all fuck ups. Just to clarify assumption is the brother of all fuck ups. Now that's a reference to something! If you get the reference then I shall hold your hand and skip down the street or buy you a kite Your choice.

Have you even considered the possibility that I wrote this in any of the other 11 months of the year? The more astute amongst you will have noticed I kicked off this writing jaunt in April 2013. So it would be sensible to deduce that this was likely written between then and now. So that gives you a whole eight months to choose from. Choose wisely as you only get one chance and YOU'RE OUT!

Yeah I was born in November. A time when the earth shuddered and the sky cracked as a bouncing ball of a baby boy was born :D I was a bit of an energetic toddler and quite the linguist. According to the tales my many relatives tell I could speak fluently before I could walk. And as soon as I could walk I was running away from everyone. I once followed a cat in an airport.

Bit of an abrupt shift away from my reminiscing to what is now yesterday, Friday the 8th of November. A couple of days before that I came across this pic on FB

Been altered to show UK times click to see the original

I had been mulling it over, I've seen 4 bouts and enjoyed them all thoroughly. Here's an opportunity to see some of the worlds best going at it. Just to clarify I wasn't about to fly out to America there was a live stream available :-D.

I think I'm right in thinking that the London Rollergirls, LRG, are the only team from overseas! During the first bout they commented that they were the first international team. I sure love trailblazers :-D Takes something special to do stuff no one has ever done before. Ties in with Arnie's six rules as well. You can see them here :-D. Yep I am referring you back to another post, it's all about my leg issues.

I got my wires crossed an thought the first game was at 16:00. But it was actually at 20:00. Giving me ages to sit around and work myself into something of an anxious mess. I don't know why I was sooo anxious! I think my excitement coupled with the bucket of coffee I drank  that made me uber jittery. FYI I don't drink coffee from a bucket. I actually drink it from a large, black, ceramic mug that can hold, approximately, a pint in volume. I think I got it for my 21st birthday. I used to have a big glass tankard from which all my beverages were consumed but one day it shattered as a result of coming into contact with some hot water! A sad day indeed...

I'd been off the caffeine for ages, save for a cup of tea that I have first thing in the morning. This pint of extra strong bean juice knocked my head off! Figuratively speaking, my head is still very much attached to my body.

Don't let this pic fool you it doesn't come with choccy hobnobs.

Ah I have my regular chat with @shortbistro around 19:30. We get on famously so our conversations tend to stretch towards the hour mark. This would mean I'd miss the first bout! So at 20:20 I say my goodbyes and turn my attention to the bout. Clicking through I am met with this:

Noooooooo!

It's fast approaching 20:30 and I am rather deflated but determined. So I start perusing various social media outlets, That's a lie, I went to FB and found the WFTDA page. Turns out that more people than anticipated had tried to access the service causing an overload.

There was a lot of outrage, apparently not the first time this had happened. I sit and wait and then inspiration hits me and I start refreshing the stream page. On about the 20th time I get through to the stream!

Still the first half but LRG are down. I'm kinda confused as the cameras keep cutting from view to view and the feed keeps buffering. I have a hard enough time following what's going on when I'm by the track, soooo much happening at once!

I think that's when half time was declared and and I hear the kick ass phrase "Play dirty, smell clean!" Notorious RED are the sponsor for the penalty box. They make a deodorant for the all the safety gear that skaters use. I've got some personal experience when it comes to odious safety gear. Was a rugby player in my early to mid teens, now a decade ago! The main source of my stench came from my shin pads, as they rarely saw the light of day. Hidden away under my socks or in my kit bag! My favourite festering recollection is from leaving boots, liberally encased in fresh mud, in a locker over half term. If you were lucky you'd get grass shoots growing out of the mud on your boots!

Back on topic and it's half time. I thnk LRG are down but not significantly. I didn't take any notes :-S Should take notes! There is much back and forth, that is to say the rhythm shifts between Atlanta and LRG. Oh and this is where I saw the deftness of a jammer. Kamikaze Kitten was jamming when the commentators start waxing lyrical about how she is able to exploit the smallest of gaps. I've never been one for precision, anyone remember Ajax and his warhammer?

I really, really want one!

As I watch her jam I see precision and skill that left staring with my mouth open. Genuinely I looked like a bit of a simpleton. Thing is I am a bit of a simpleton, sooo...
Some kick as play and the bout finished 184 - 169 to Atlanta. Now I did witness an occurrence that I'd only ever read about until Friday evening. This was a star pass, jammer passes the starred helmet cover to a pivot to get a set of fresh legs jamming. Between Stephanie Mainey and Kami. Some of you may know that I'm not a roller girl/dude, rather hopeless on skates. And until last weekend I'd only ever seen 4 bouts. Wondering why I was reading the rules?

Well it was of course because my mouth had written a cheque and my ego was insisting that I cash it. I'd said there has to be a loophole somewhere in the WFTDA rules and the Roller Girl who Draws in Secret, SDRG, had presented me with a link to all the rules and said that if I could handle them in one sitting she'd be impressed. Now what I heard was "You'll never be able to read and understand all these, MUHAHAHA!" So I set about reading all the rules in a single sitting, which I did! Recalling them, they're in there but not in any particular order. So in your face SDRG :-P This did kinda backfire at the first bout I went to, I was charged with explaining wtf was going on to Mark n Swapnal. A job I did half assedly as I was far too busy being befuddled by the general awesomeness of the first bout I'd ever seen. Details here of the first four bouts I'd ever seen.

So there were four bouts on that night and I was determined to see as many as I could!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2013

2:00 PM Atlanta Rollergirls (Salem #2) 184 v London Rollergirls (Fort Wayne #3) 169, Watched

4:00 PM Game 2 – Rocky Mountain Rollergirls (Asheville #2) 198 v Angel City Derby Girls (Richmond #3) 228, Watched

6:00 PM Game 3 – Ohio Roller Girls (Fort Wayne #2) 230 v Rat City Rollergirls (Salem #3) 212, dozed off

8:00 PM Game 4 – Philly Roller Girls (Richmond #2) 174 v Windy City Rollers (Asheville #3) 221, crawled in to bed

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2013

10:00 AM Game 5 – Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 227 v Atlanta Rollergirls (Salem #2) 134, Watched

12:00 PM Game 6 - Denver Roller Dolls (Fort Wayne #1) 200 v Angel City Derby Girls (Richmond #3) 125, Watched

2:00 PM Game 7 - Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 509 v Ohio Roller Girls (Fort Wayne #2) 64, Watched

4:00 PM Game 8 - B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (Salem #1) 230 v Windy City Rollers (Asheville #3) 135, Watched

6:30 PM Game 9 - Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 302 v Denver Roller Dolls (Fort Wayne #1) 129, Slept

8:30 PM Game 10 - Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 174 v B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls ( Richmond #1) 125, Still asleep

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2013

12:00 PM - Blue Ridge Rollergirls (Des Moines #2) 215 v Sac City Rollers (Kalamazoo #2) 188 D2 3rd Place, Watched

2:00 PM - Jet City Rollergirls (Des Moines #1) 195 v Santa Cruz Derby Girls (Kalamazoo #1) 194 D2 Championship, Watched

4:00 PM - Game 11 – B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (Salem #1) 224 v Denver Roller Dolls ( Fort Wayne #1) 174 D1 3rd Place, Sort of Watched

6:00 PM - Game 12 - Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 173 v Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 199 D1 Championship, Watched

The times shown are American central time so it was in fact six hours later in the UK. That's right the last bout started at midnight!

That's the brief version of my weekend. It was interspaced with a lot of physio and a trip to the super market, mostly to get cookies to fuel my viewing of the final at midnight on a Sunday. There are very few things I can watch sooo much of without getting saturated. You know the feeling, like when you've had too much ice cream, chocolate, coleslaw etc. It's awesome but you are really, really full. Well at the beginning of each bout on Saturday, I saw four that day, I was a little bit like that. But it's ever so damn dynamic that I ended up fired up every time.

So many different styles of play as well! Not saying I understand or can convey what I was seeing but very rarely do you see squads with the same style. I need to study up so I can explain what I saw! I actually tried to take a tactical nap during the third place playoff. I got caught up and didn't sleep :-/. I got so amped by the final that finished around 01:30 that I couldn't sleep until 02:30.

That's couple of the ads that were on during half time :-D



So by the calibre of the ads you can see it was quite the weekend. A big thank you to all the teams for kicking ass :-D. Officials for officiating, commentators for commentating and the tech elves of the WFTDA for keeping the stream on the road :-D.

Some more mundane things that happened this week? Well is is Movember so I have been not trimming my moustache. It's getting in the way whilst eating and drinking things atm. So I scour the interweb for a solution! What I find is lots of differing vids going over various techs you can use to style you stache! I spring for a tiny tin of moustache wax from a London based company.

In case you want to tame your own wild stache!

The result are rather astonishing! The only problem is that I have to leave the hair on my upper lip alone once the wax has set. A skill I am yet to master, I love twiddling with it!

Check us out!

Oh and I've lost muscle mass from my chest and arms meaning I no longer look like I'm trying to burst out of my shirts. I suppose that's good for the shirts but kinda dented my ego, which isn't a bad thing but it has inspired me to pick up my rehab.

All the bouts are in the WFTDA archives here, in case you wanted to see what all my excitement was about :-D D2 championship final was probs the most nail bitey one, imo.

In the moment vs Over the horizon

The over the horizon look, something that is often said about the protagonist in Stephen King's Gunslinger books. Goes by the name of Roland Deschains and it's as if he's always looking beyond where he is right now  towards the future. Which you'd think is kinda normal but it's as though everything around him doesn't factor when he's got that look in his eyes. Scares his friends when they see it. I've seen something akin to that look in a girl's eyes, yep I'm writing about a woman!

The look is a not something that scares me, particularly. But I would like to know what it means, if anything. Funny thing is the girl in question participates in an something that requires snap decisions. I'm mostly writing this to see what I would say if I were to ever bring this up. Long term planners, plotters, life goalers, career trajectorists. I realise some of those words are incorrect but you get my gist, right? My man Neil Gaiman said that if you have a life goal/ambition then it helps to look at everything else in relation to that goal. Imagine that it's a mountain that you are walking towards. All the decisions you make, do they take you towards the mountain or away from it? I like that idea it makes a lot of sense :-D

One of my other fave Neils! Ooh do watch this: Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

But then I heard something from another creative genius, Tim Minchin. Pursue things ferociously but in the short term. If you spend too much time look at the future you'll miss the shiny thing that you see glimmering out the corner of your eye. He also says "arts degrees are awesome as they help you find meaning where there is none, and trust me there is none." Believe it or not my degree, the one I finished, is considered an arts degree! It's all numbers but the rules surrounding those numbers aren't rules...they're principles! Open to interpretation, so naturally you need an artist to decipher wtf it all means.

My "ultimate" plans fluctuate weekly, daily, hourly, moment to moment. I have no idea what I want to do. There is so much I'd like to do! As you can see there is a bit of a conflict here. The girl I was talking about has a firm idea about what she wants to do with her time, ultimately. But is not particular hurry to get there. Now I like that laid back approach. But I'm not all that patient a person, plus who knows when your time'll be up.

Back and forth, confusing stuff! Does this give you a little idea of what it's like in my head? I'm really not sure about anything. I come up with something that seems concrete but then there's a counter or something that's equally valid. It's interesting but it can suck, from time to time.

So over the horizon + fast paced situation + long term goal. So the over the horizon would tie in with the long term goal but the fast paced situation goes against the grain. Perhaps it's an unconscious attempt towards yanking yourself out of long term thinking and into the now. It could also be a way of burning up the pent up energy that we all have. I'm quite sure that our bodies need to move, work, sweat etc. Someone who looks to the future but pulls themselves into the now.

On the other hand there are those who live in the here and now. Taking each moment as it comes, I see them as the talkers. The chatty ones who are full of good humour. The best example I can think of lives for short term results. Likes to put in effort and see a return immediately. Which is understandable enough, instant feedback. You know whether what you're doing is working or not!

In case you wanted to know where this came from!

The here and now is where we all are, like it or not. Following my thought train out of the mind station? Now exists, nothing else does. The present is all there is, every thing else is an illusion. Imagination and memory, which is still sort of imagination. I sure love the minds eye :-D Admittedly our perception of the present is only through our various senses: sight, smell, sound, sensation and taste. These are an awfully limited way of experiencing all there is. For example we know there are more wavelengths of light that we can not see: ultraviolet + infrared. But even that is only a fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum. Consider the vast array of smells + sounds we cannot experience because we are not sensitive enough. Via the senses we can not truly experience now in it's entirety. But that's a bit of a pointless statement as that's all we've got to work with!

Back to short term vs. long term. Having a long term focus...nice but don't lose sight of what's important. Living moment to moment I think this could work. But you have to know how to handle each moment. Handle each moment well and it leads to a chain of "good" events. Most importantly have fun, be joyful, make someone smile or laugh. If you are seeking out that then you are sure to have a lovely time, regardless of whether you make it to your goal or not. Achieving your goal may be spectacular but I've noticed something peculiar about achieving things. They really aren't all their cracked up to be!

I've won stuff, achieved stuff, defeated people, had success. Doesn't really mean anything tbh. All just a means to an end. The bits I enjoyed the most were the people. Chatting, laughing, drunken discussions about "meaning". All that other stuff pales in comparison to the fun I had with the few folk whom I consider friends.

Did you enjoy my telling you what you already know? Why am I drawing what is already in my soul? Well it being there is great but getting it out of that deep dark recess within which all my understanding cowers away is good. Lets me stare at it and try to digest + dissect it. I don't much care for awards, titles, money, status. I just want to sit and talk, laugh etc. The rest of it...you can keep it all. Except the shower gel :-O

I apparently have a bit of a boner for shower gel. I noticed the other day that I currently have six different types of shower gel in circulation. You know how shared bathrooms often look a bit cluttered with the copious quantity of toiletries that have been stored within them? Well I've managed to achieve that look by myself!

To give you an idea of what it looks like, my collection spans 4 different brands!

New skin, blisters, old spiel and hoarding

I was searching for a bottle of highly volatile liquid. It does smell an awful lot like nail polish remover but it was in fact liquid plaster or I have seen it sold as "new skin". Forms a thin waterproof membrane over small cuts grazes etc. Why do I have small cuts or grazes when we know you are supposed to be rather immobile! Is what you'll be thinking, probably. If you were thinking this then kudos for being up to date with the current state of my health! If not then I suggest you dig deep down and ask yourself...what am I doing with my life!? :-P

So is every familiar with a blister pack? Specifically the stuff used to house medication in tablet form. Plastic vacuum mould on one side with foil on the other? At least I assume it's a vacuum mould, what else could it be?

A thousand words?

So that's what one looks like and as it would have it they are capable of cutting through my calloused man hands! I didn't realise that my skin had been sliced so often till one the buggers actually drew blood! So that's why I was looking for the bottle of liquid plaster. Now I've not reorganised my desk. Despite having been back at it, pretty much constantly, for the past 3 weeks. This is mostly because I am a lazy sod and slightly because I have have a bad back.

Ooh my back! I've adapted my physio to create something of an uber core that will make me look a little like a tree trunk. Only problem is I can't bend forwards as the risk of disc re-rupture is rather high. So the old rectus abdominus is not really getting much of a workout. Yes this is yet another excuse for why I'm not packing a six pack despite having abs like high density foam. Firm yet spongy! I can ride a bike again so that should help with the extra weight I've gained...maybe. Oh and I've got a tech for beating Armstrong! I'm sure you're all ever so relieved that 3-4 months since I first started playing Metal Gear: Revengeance I have found a way to beat the final boss! I DID IT! Now all I have to do is complete it on all the hight difficulties, collect lots of left hands, find little photo frames + unlock the FOX BLADE!

Um so rummaging! Stumble over lots of interesting things. A white glove from the time I wore white gloves to the Derby Hall returners formal + the Chem Eng Ball. Oh and I wore the gloves to clubs from time to time as well. It was a strange time, I had very long hair...

• Theraband - think big rubber band for physio stuff
• Lincoln Uni Alumni bag - from the time I went back and talked about my experiences to undergrads
• Xbox 360 cover + disk drive - Red light so I disassembled it. I don't know why.
• CD holder
• Paper crane - A heard a girl I liked could make cranes so naturally I learnt how to make many origami things...
• Bubble wrap - popped of course
• Tape measure
• Old speech I wrote to deliver to my dad about why I think I flunked out of Uni the first time
• A washing machine motor - It broke so I took it apart and I've still got the motor. The body did become a furnace for burning up all the tree cuttings from our garden. We have much foliage that requires, near, constant pruning.
• Insurance
• Magazines
• Much more

Yep that's the result of my rummaging and a sock

And I also find my passport case. It was sent to me for free by the lovely folk over at Jack Daniels! They send me lots of cool stuff :-D Coasters, card holder, cocktail stirrer, hip flask, sticky sweet bbq seasoning and a basting brush. Oh and two keyrings! The passport case is empty, it's supposed to have my passport in it! So I rummage through the locked steel drawer within which I keep all my important docs. Bank statements, certificates, insurance etc. Alas it's no where to be seen :-( . I start to panic but I have been away from home for a number of weeks. My mother in her maternalness may have hoarded it away. So I ask and that's exactly what has happened!

Now that you are not so worried about the whereabouts of my pass that permits me to go through ports I'll get on with what I found! It's a little bit of paper upon which I wrote a little speech. Bit of a speaker, apparently :-S This is from 2007, half a decade ago! When I first flunked out of Uni. Chem Eng I loved the people but not the material, moving on. The gist of it is that I was seeking the reason for my failure. The discussion swings from laziness to evil and finally settles on quite a peculiar reason. Aged 20 I thought I was "destined" to do strange things. Not to live a "normal" life. Bit a dick aged 20 is what all the evidence would suggest.

I still haven't the foggiest what I want to do! Ultimately that is. I don't want normal though, it's comfortable but it drives me mad.

I trapped some smoke in a Curiosity Cola bottle, yep that is my actual hand as well

So I once heard an explanation for why so I may be holding onto all the stuff from my past. It boils down to wanting to be a little more than what you are right now. Making sense? The general rule is that as you grow older and more successful you gather more things. Or bigger things. More money, bigger house, bigger car etc. Funny thing is I doubt that it'll ever be enough. Does anyone ever really stop? Wanting to have more that is.

Little bit about how what I consider to be me is all over the place! So there is me and there's all the stuff that's mine. Funnily enough I watched something of mine that I'd had for a decade get cut in half today! Renewing an old ID. But still I felt a sensation as though someone had just wronged me. It's just a piece of plastic but because I'd had it so long I was attached to it. Crazy!

More Quotes!

 I know this has been done before but there are so many quotes that it's kinda inevitable that I'd end up doing another one all about em.

If something really grinds your gears then feel free to write it on a postcard and send it to Santa :P

What really grinds my gears is having to trawl through masses of text in order to dig out the handful of truth nuggets that are buried within. This extends to lectures, speeches even some films! Just give me the bullet points and allow me to obsess over them in my own time. I'm a massive fan of boiling things down to their bare bones and presenting that. Apparently that's one of the reasons I have my current job. Had to give a presentation as part of the interview, I had zero time to prep so didn't over think it. Oh and that's how Steve Jobs did it and he invented the apple, respect!

Now anyone who's read any of my posts will now be in a bit of a daze/rage. I am saying I dislike long written things but, whenever I write something it's usually really, really long! I think this links with the way I think/remember things. Stories! Whenever I learn something I usually recall the situation within which I learnt it. That's a overly wordy way of saying I remember things as stories, don't we all remember things as stories? When I get some new info I link it with pre-existing info/stories so as to incorporate it into my existing understanding. New info links with old info thereby seamlessly incorporating into the structure that is my understanding. It sounds like I'm making an excuse for the paradox that is my hatred of lengthy writing vs. my penchant for writing at length. I'm conflicted...

This is a good a time as any for me to fling a quote your way:

So it would appear I've fallen into an age old jelly trap! A sentence you are unlikely to read ever again. Think about that for a moment: no more, no less. Does anyone know who Virginia Woolf is? I know she was a writer but beyond that I haven't the foggiest. But this quote was used to close the first episode of Was It Something I Said? If you don't believe me then you've got about a week to check it out on 4OD. It features David Mitchell, Richard Ayoade and Micky Flanagan  so worth a lookie.

It's a bit like sugaring the pill or as Mary Poppins would put it:

Not saying that anything I write can be classed as medicine! But it maybe explains why I carelessly craft so much jibber jabber around my otherwise seemingly unpalatable points.

This popped up on the Lincolnshire Bombers Roller Girls fb page. Not so strange that they are sharing a quote from a living legend of the sport + they are rather active on the old social media. It's originally sourced from Bonnie D. Stroir, awesome name btw. She's a whole six years older than me and was the world's first full time roller derby coach. She travelled the world coaching! She retired but returned to the game. I found out this morning she retired again in September 2013! I'm kinda hung up on the sport, tried to make sense of why here. I may actually give it a go if I ever leave the permanently injured limbo state I seem to have been in for the past decade! Can't make Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder's recruiting ting that's soon. Why is so much awesome stuff happening!

When I first read this I wholeheartedly disagreed. It made no sense to me to bust up your body. Inevitably I sought to poke holes in my reasoning. I actually started to realise that I agree whilst sat in the waiting room of the ortho fracture clinic at Lincoln County.

I only ever felt I was useful if I had a fully functioning body. Things ain't functioning atm hence my knee jerk reaction to the quote. In a lot of ways I let being the "strong" one become my defining characteristic. A relic from a simpler time when might made right. Trapped in this way of thinking I continued to train and live in a way that was quite literally tearing my body apart. I have very hyper mobile joints and I love to lift heavy. There came a breaking point that has made me think again.

I was speaking with an occupational therapist about any gadgets, gizmos etc. I'd need to manage my day to day at home. I started running my mouth and what came out was right on the money. I need to think more. Think...that's something I didn't do enough of while I could get by with power alone. I'd power through physical tasks with little or no thought as to if there is a more effective way of doing them.

Breaking up the brick of text with Ross demoing his amazing Unagi skillz!

Power is no longer an option, at least for the time being. A part large part of what I considered to be my identity has been removed. What do I do now? Well I guess I'm free from that prison that I managed to build for myself. I don't have to be that guy any more. Well if I end up as that guy feel free to give me a short sharp kick in the shin. It may sound extreme but it's preferable to regressing into that state!

There are lots of people who place ideals, goals etc. above their own lives. If you scour fiction you will find numerous examples of main characters who are willing to fight and die to further their cause. I did go over this a bit in one of my old posts What's the RDA for PEP? and there's a vid at the end of this one that illustrates the idea of putting yourself second in order to attain something amazing. I struggle to think of real life examples of people doing this.

These selfless acts tend towards the dramatic and, more often than not violent. I'm all for violence, it get's things done ever so quickly! But I'm also all for change that is sustainable and that happens with all the speed of a rampaging glacier. So is there a way to win without fighting? Seems counter intuitive I know, how can you win if you don't fight? Depends what you're using as your weapons. I would say I am much more able to effect change with my words than I ever was with my fists. Also the society we live in doesn't allow for such things to happen so often.



And:

Than image is from a lovely fellow calles Jay Branscombe. He describes himself as an aggressive progressive, sounds awesome even if I haven't a clue what it means! I've asked his permission to use it, if he says no it may disappear, eek! So real life examples...Gandhi? Pacificm was part of his religion but you can't argue with results right? I know very little about such a titan of history I am ever so unclued up. I may present the front of an all-knowing sagely font but I am in fact rather uneducated.

But I did once hear a story about his followers on a picket line. They would be beaten back and be carried off with injuries. Once bandaged up they'd rejoin the line and be beaten back again. They did not raise a hand against their attackers. It boggles my mind about the level of belief they had that this course of action would further their cause.

So that's Bonnie D. Stroir shooting the duck. A phrase I learnt from a handy little book that I purchased here. It's a move known as shooting the duck, don't know why and it serves no purpose other than to show boat and put a big smile on your face :-D

So is anyone superstitious? Rituals that you have to do before you go out in the field/pull? I think I'm starting to become more superstitious as I grow ever older Less seems coincidental! Ok so does anyone know what number Bonnie D. Stroir skates under? I daren't call her by her by anything other than her full title, I don't know why! Well it's 26, "so what?" is the reaction I'm expecting from the global gathering that inexplicably reads these. Well if you add the 2 and 6 together what do you get? Well you get 8 of course, still not that awe inspiring but bear with me I'll get there one day. 8 is my lucky number according to a complex ancient eastern numerology system . Well it's not that complex I was born on the 26th of November so you add the 2 and 6 together to get 8! So two twenty sixes is no big whoop but here's the kicker I'm actually 26 years old right now!

I can't mention roller derby without a nod to my route to the sport. This is of course an old work colleague, the Roller Girl who Draws in Secret, SDRG for short. Anyone want to guess what number she skates under? Well I'll give you a clue! It is a number that's particularly auspicious for the population of the most populous country on the planet. The answers are 8 and China. I met SDRD shortly after turning 26!

Coincidence, probably...

I bought a Euromillions ticket yesterday. I'm 26, born on the 26th and the jackpot was 26 million! I didn't win...