Wax on, wax off

And so it begins. It is the month of my birth, what month was I born in folks? If you're assuming that I was born in the month that this was published then maybe you should consider what assumption is the brother of? And that is of course...all fuck ups. Just to clarify assumption is the brother of all fuck ups. Now that's a reference to something! If you get the reference then I shall hold your hand and skip down the street or buy you a kite Your choice.

Have you even considered the possibility that I wrote this in any of the other 11 months of the year? The more astute amongst you will have noticed I kicked off this writing jaunt in April 2013. So it would be sensible to deduce that this was likely written between then and now. So that gives you a whole eight months to choose from. Choose wisely as you only get one chance and YOU'RE OUT!

Yeah I was born in November. A time when the earth shuddered and the sky cracked as a bouncing ball of a baby boy was born :D I was a bit of an energetic toddler and quite the linguist. According to the tales my many relatives tell I could speak fluently before I could walk. And as soon as I could walk I was running away from everyone. I once followed a cat in an airport.

Bit of an abrupt shift away from my reminiscing to what is now yesterday, Friday the 8th of November. A couple of days before that I came across this pic on FB

Been altered to show UK times click to see the original

I had been mulling it over, I've seen 4 bouts and enjoyed them all thoroughly. Here's an opportunity to see some of the worlds best going at it. Just to clarify I wasn't about to fly out to America there was a live stream available :-D.

I think I'm right in thinking that the London Rollergirls, LRG, are the only team from overseas! During the first bout they commented that they were the first international team. I sure love trailblazers :-D Takes something special to do stuff no one has ever done before. Ties in with Arnie's six rules as well. You can see them here :-D. Yep I am referring you back to another post, it's all about my leg issues.

I got my wires crossed an thought the first game was at 16:00. But it was actually at 20:00. Giving me ages to sit around and work myself into something of an anxious mess. I don't know why I was sooo anxious! I think my excitement coupled with the bucket of coffee I drank  that made me uber jittery. FYI I don't drink coffee from a bucket. I actually drink it from a large, black, ceramic mug that can hold, approximately, a pint in volume. I think I got it for my 21st birthday. I used to have a big glass tankard from which all my beverages were consumed but one day it shattered as a result of coming into contact with some hot water! A sad day indeed...

I'd been off the caffeine for ages, save for a cup of tea that I have first thing in the morning. This pint of extra strong bean juice knocked my head off! Figuratively speaking, my head is still very much attached to my body.

Don't let this pic fool you it doesn't come with choccy hobnobs.

Ah I have my regular chat with @shortbistro around 19:30. We get on famously so our conversations tend to stretch towards the hour mark. This would mean I'd miss the first bout! So at 20:20 I say my goodbyes and turn my attention to the bout. Clicking through I am met with this:

Noooooooo!

It's fast approaching 20:30 and I am rather deflated but determined. So I start perusing various social media outlets, That's a lie, I went to FB and found the WFTDA page. Turns out that more people than anticipated had tried to access the service causing an overload.

There was a lot of outrage, apparently not the first time this had happened. I sit and wait and then inspiration hits me and I start refreshing the stream page. On about the 20th time I get through to the stream!

Still the first half but LRG are down. I'm kinda confused as the cameras keep cutting from view to view and the feed keeps buffering. I have a hard enough time following what's going on when I'm by the track, soooo much happening at once!

I think that's when half time was declared and and I hear the kick ass phrase "Play dirty, smell clean!" Notorious RED are the sponsor for the penalty box. They make a deodorant for the all the safety gear that skaters use. I've got some personal experience when it comes to odious safety gear. Was a rugby player in my early to mid teens, now a decade ago! The main source of my stench came from my shin pads, as they rarely saw the light of day. Hidden away under my socks or in my kit bag! My favourite festering recollection is from leaving boots, liberally encased in fresh mud, in a locker over half term. If you were lucky you'd get grass shoots growing out of the mud on your boots!

Back on topic and it's half time. I thnk LRG are down but not significantly. I didn't take any notes :-S Should take notes! There is much back and forth, that is to say the rhythm shifts between Atlanta and LRG. Oh and this is where I saw the deftness of a jammer. Kamikaze Kitten was jamming when the commentators start waxing lyrical about how she is able to exploit the smallest of gaps. I've never been one for precision, anyone remember Ajax and his warhammer?

I really, really want one!

As I watch her jam I see precision and skill that left staring with my mouth open. Genuinely I looked like a bit of a simpleton. Thing is I am a bit of a simpleton, sooo...
Some kick as play and the bout finished 184 - 169 to Atlanta. Now I did witness an occurrence that I'd only ever read about until Friday evening. This was a star pass, jammer passes the starred helmet cover to a pivot to get a set of fresh legs jamming. Between Stephanie Mainey and Kami. Some of you may know that I'm not a roller girl/dude, rather hopeless on skates. And until last weekend I'd only ever seen 4 bouts. Wondering why I was reading the rules?

Well it was of course because my mouth had written a cheque and my ego was insisting that I cash it. I'd said there has to be a loophole somewhere in the WFTDA rules and the Roller Girl who Draws in Secret, SDRG, had presented me with a link to all the rules and said that if I could handle them in one sitting she'd be impressed. Now what I heard was "You'll never be able to read and understand all these, MUHAHAHA!" So I set about reading all the rules in a single sitting, which I did! Recalling them, they're in there but not in any particular order. So in your face SDRG :-P This did kinda backfire at the first bout I went to, I was charged with explaining wtf was going on to Mark n Swapnal. A job I did half assedly as I was far too busy being befuddled by the general awesomeness of the first bout I'd ever seen. Details here of the first four bouts I'd ever seen.

So there were four bouts on that night and I was determined to see as many as I could!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2013

2:00 PM Atlanta Rollergirls (Salem #2) 184 v London Rollergirls (Fort Wayne #3) 169, Watched

4:00 PM Game 2 – Rocky Mountain Rollergirls (Asheville #2) 198 v Angel City Derby Girls (Richmond #3) 228, Watched

6:00 PM Game 3 – Ohio Roller Girls (Fort Wayne #2) 230 v Rat City Rollergirls (Salem #3) 212, dozed off

8:00 PM Game 4 – Philly Roller Girls (Richmond #2) 174 v Windy City Rollers (Asheville #3) 221, crawled in to bed

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2013

10:00 AM Game 5 – Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 227 v Atlanta Rollergirls (Salem #2) 134, Watched

12:00 PM Game 6 - Denver Roller Dolls (Fort Wayne #1) 200 v Angel City Derby Girls (Richmond #3) 125, Watched

2:00 PM Game 7 - Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 509 v Ohio Roller Girls (Fort Wayne #2) 64, Watched

4:00 PM Game 8 - B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (Salem #1) 230 v Windy City Rollers (Asheville #3) 135, Watched

6:30 PM Game 9 - Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 302 v Denver Roller Dolls (Fort Wayne #1) 129, Slept

8:30 PM Game 10 - Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 174 v B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls ( Richmond #1) 125, Still asleep

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2013

12:00 PM - Blue Ridge Rollergirls (Des Moines #2) 215 v Sac City Rollers (Kalamazoo #2) 188 D2 3rd Place, Watched

2:00 PM - Jet City Rollergirls (Des Moines #1) 195 v Santa Cruz Derby Girls (Kalamazoo #1) 194 D2 Championship, Watched

4:00 PM - Game 11 – B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (Salem #1) 224 v Denver Roller Dolls ( Fort Wayne #1) 174 D1 3rd Place, Sort of Watched

6:00 PM - Game 12 - Texas Rollergirls (Richmond #1) 173 v Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Asheville #1) 199 D1 Championship, Watched

The times shown are American central time so it was in fact six hours later in the UK. That's right the last bout started at midnight!

That's the brief version of my weekend. It was interspaced with a lot of physio and a trip to the super market, mostly to get cookies to fuel my viewing of the final at midnight on a Sunday. There are very few things I can watch sooo much of without getting saturated. You know the feeling, like when you've had too much ice cream, chocolate, coleslaw etc. It's awesome but you are really, really full. Well at the beginning of each bout on Saturday, I saw four that day, I was a little bit like that. But it's ever so damn dynamic that I ended up fired up every time.

So many different styles of play as well! Not saying I understand or can convey what I was seeing but very rarely do you see squads with the same style. I need to study up so I can explain what I saw! I actually tried to take a tactical nap during the third place playoff. I got caught up and didn't sleep :-/. I got so amped by the final that finished around 01:30 that I couldn't sleep until 02:30.

That's couple of the ads that were on during half time :-D



So by the calibre of the ads you can see it was quite the weekend. A big thank you to all the teams for kicking ass :-D. Officials for officiating, commentators for commentating and the tech elves of the WFTDA for keeping the stream on the road :-D.

Some more mundane things that happened this week? Well is is Movember so I have been not trimming my moustache. It's getting in the way whilst eating and drinking things atm. So I scour the interweb for a solution! What I find is lots of differing vids going over various techs you can use to style you stache! I spring for a tiny tin of moustache wax from a London based company.

In case you want to tame your own wild stache!

The result are rather astonishing! The only problem is that I have to leave the hair on my upper lip alone once the wax has set. A skill I am yet to master, I love twiddling with it!

Check us out!

Oh and I've lost muscle mass from my chest and arms meaning I no longer look like I'm trying to burst out of my shirts. I suppose that's good for the shirts but kinda dented my ego, which isn't a bad thing but it has inspired me to pick up my rehab.

All the bouts are in the WFTDA archives here, in case you wanted to see what all my excitement was about :-D D2 championship final was probs the most nail bitey one, imo.