It kinda gets on top of you, if you know what I mean.

So let's do this thing!

Well some of you may already know that I've hurt myself! I know it's not all that surprising given my history:

• Sprained ankle x so often I've lost count lets say 1,000,000
• Dislocated knees x at least a dozen times
  Torn hamstrings x 3
• Torn back muscle x 4
• Dislocated shoulders x 1,000,000 again
• Elbow issues x at least once a year
• Clicky sprained sore wrists x constantly
• Broken thumbs x 2
• Broken big toes x 12
• And numerous cuts, gouges niggles!

As you can see I'm have a tendency towards injury. This time it's a back issue. So I'm hauling my wise and ancient friend, Tim the dog, into the boot after a trip to the vet. Some of you may remember Tim, I've mentioned him once or twice, he's got an ear infection! Anyway this task would normally be a breeze as I am a big, burly boyo who used to fling other equally big burly boyos around a field on Tuesdays and Sundays. But my back has a weakness that has been worsening over the week. And it results in me laying on the floor and summoning a rather kickass physio, William Hopkinson. A thoroughly nice fellow who gave me lots of advice for a very reasonable fee. Looks like I may be out of the game for a while so be prepared to read a lot more of my overly long writing :-P

So the reason my back is a little weaker than it usually is because of a cool box! Well not the cool box but what it's full of. Now this is highly experimental stuff, with it's own webpage, so I can't talk about it! It's heavy and to load and unload it I have to lift with my arms at full extension. Putting all the strain on my lower back. Now I could have got Rebekah to help me, but in a typically macho fashion I favoured speed over common sense and planted the seeds of my downfall.

So you're asking who Rebekah is? Well she was hand volunteered by the ever kick ass Mr. Kitson. I was volunteered by Mr. Wright as I was involved with the last round of testing so I'd be au fait with the whole process. Oh and there was a little craziness that occurred resulting in me shooting back home to grab an extra shirt, pants n socks! Had to stay an extra night hence the extra shtuff ;-) On the way there the A1 is shut! So we take an extra long diversion and talk a lot of inane babble. You know the usual stuff about this n that oh and I also tried to explain our peculiar company set up. I don't think I really understand it so I doubt I managed to convey it so well to Rebekah.

Once there we get changed in to my delight I discover that Dave is available in my room! Means I can keep up with Suits :D So head to the restaurant and we both order the same starter, pate! I also get my T bone on! Turns out neither of us talk whilst we are eating makes for a serene evening. As it rolls around to eight pm my boyish enthusiasm for cool lawyers in sharp suits gets the better of me. In hindsight I probs should've crowbarred Rebekah into watching it with me reckon she'd have become a convert.

Oooh I've only known Rebekah for a few days and she's already washed, ironed and folded a shirt for me! Not saying that's the way to my heart but it can't hurt ;-)

I settle down and boot up the laptop as there are a few mins before the show starts. And get engrossed in a misinformation battle. As you well know I am a uber secret agent type assassin ninja sent from an alternate universe/timeline to rewrite history so the trees win the war. Also someone read a lot of my blogposts last week in one sitting. Who that hell was that? Not that I'm annoyed just mystified that anyone would read 10,000 words in one sitting :S

Anyway suits is good! :-D Anyone else watch suits I know a few of my FB buds from back in the day do. Loving Louis' development, the guy is stealing the show :D I watch a lot of this n that as I can't sleep! Eventually drifting off around midnight. With the TV still on. Around 03:00 I am awakened by a slight hum/whistle sound, my ninja sense is tingling so I spring to my feet and immediately regret that course of action. I have zero blood in my head so my vision clouds and I, momentarily, lose my balance. Any ninja would have struck me down and made their get away by now. So after I chill out I realise that the tv makes a humming noise when activated.

In my infinite genius I forgot to pack my phone charger. I'll be acting as a field sales agent, after a days experimentation, so a functioning phone would have been rather useful. Once awake on Tuesday morning I proceed to faff about till I am late for breakfast. Not making a great impression am I? Late when we were first scheduled to meet, then dashing off to catch my show early in the evening and now late for breakfast. Oh well! breakfast is a deluge of carbs and sugar the likes of which my system hasn't experienced in a long, long time. They have a rather impressive toaster. I'd describe it as a belt fed continuous toaster with a slide!

I want one but I rarely eat bread so it'd likely end up in the corner with the breadmaker

Off to the dairy to pick up our samples. That's as much as I'm gonna divulge. Want to know more? You know where the comments section is, so ask and ye shall receive :-P Then we go to a community centre it is one of the coolest buildings I've ever had the pleasure of conducting tests in!



Yep they have daleks! :D Had a thoroughly nice day, even if the results from the tests were inconclusive! Oh I got a free cake :D. Had my first jacket potato in ages as well. After the day is done I take Rebekah to the station so she can catch her train back to Lincoln.

Now it was just before we left the centre that I unleashed my penchant for arguing about anything. The topic was what is natural. I naturally came to the table with the idea that either everything is natural or nothing is! The discussion continued on the journey to the station. From Descartes to definition we speak about a lot of stuff. I think I may have let too much out of the bottle and scared the poor girl into avoiding me at all costs X-D hehe I can be a little overbearing!

I take a wrong turn so it takes me a wee bit longer to get back to the hotel. Once there I hand over the cool box full of top secret product to the hotel. I haul it out the boot and hand it over to the concierge to store in the fridge. I chill in my room, well I nap in my room. Then furiously prep for my day of being a selling. Lots of researching exact locations, likely price quotes and driving time between locations.

What did I have for dinner? Well it was a chewy sandwich, which was nice. I notice the barmaid may have a thing for me! So naturally I order dessert to my room. I head up,kick my shoes off and fire up the laptop. There is a knock at the door, I gingerly open it...

It's the same girl from downstairs! She's stood their beaming at me, holding a plate of profiteroles!!! So you're wondering what happened next, no doubt :-P Well I gentleman never tells :-O yep I am playing the gentleman card, you didn't see that coming did you dearest dudes and dudets!

Was curious about the gender split of those reading these. I am prone to think more guys would read them as most of my mates are boys. But then again these are quite verbose so maybe girls have the commitment required to see them through to the end. I dunno!

Bohemian platformer

So it's been weird to say the least. A couple of times there has been a total disconnect between me and what I've done/am doing. You know when you are playing a video game e.g. Halo, Doom, Tomb Raider, Mario etc. you feel a certain distance between yourself and the character? At least during gameplay.

Well I kinda got the feeling about my life! Well at least the set of activities and interactions that make up what I call my life. Hence the title :D

Two spiders! One was frolicking in my hair near my right ear in the office! Tiny little thing that I attached to the window frame to capture all the flies that show up in the office! The other was one of those lanky daddy long legs types :D

I saw Kickass! The first one to see if it'd be worth seeing the second one and it was awesome! :D Very Spidermanny feel to it but with a lots of violence :D Been a while since I enjoyed a film quite like that :D

Swallow! Now, now, children drag your minds out of the gutter! Here's the thing now that I've said that your mind will be all guttered up even if you weren't thinking of anything rude when you first read the word swallow :P  :D It was either a swallow or a swirft that flew into our office and hung out there for while! Made for a very welcome change from the usual day to day stuff that we do! I have been switched away from my usual role to one the does a lot more things. As to what these things are then you'll have to ask me in person cos then I can deny it all!

The office had extra folk kicking about in it last week and I felt a whole lot better for it. All those left, I get along with famously but more is more! It'll never be the same but nothing ever is ;-)

So there was yet another night out! Twas a work one so it featured the usual line up with the addition of Gavin. I'm gorging myself on chicken when Swapnal pipes up and presents Gavin with his 5 stringed guitar. For those in the know that's one short so it's gonna be hard to play. Gavin is good at guitar! So ring of fire? I suck as time has worn away my razor sharp reflexes and replaced them with clueless looks of d'oh time to down another drink!

A deck of cards are arranged in a circle around a glass and players take it in turn to pick a card. For those not au fait with the rules of ring of fire here's a handy list:

A- Waterfall – Everyone must keep drinking, starting with the one who picked the card, until the person who is on their left stops. So who knows how long you will be going for!
2- is Choose – You can choose someone to drink
3- is Me – You must drink
4- is Whore – All girls drink
5- Thumb Master- When you put your thumb on the table everyone must follow and whomever is last must drink. you are the thumb master till someone else picks a five.
6- is Dicks – All guys drink
7- is Heaven – Point your finger in the sky, whoever is last must drink
8- is Mate – Choose someone to drink with you
9- Rhyme – Pick a word such a dog and the person next to you must rhyme with dog, like log, and it goes to the next person and the next, in a circle, until someone messes up and he or she will have to drink
10- Categories- Pick a category such a football and you go in a circle and everyone has to say a word that fits with football such as: touchdown, field goal, USC. Whoever messes up, drinks.
Jack- Make a Rule – You can make up any rule that everyone has to follow, such as you can only drink with your right hand. Everyone (including you) must follow this rule for the whole entire game and if you disobey you must drink.
Queen- Questions – Go around in a circle and you have to keep asking questions to each other. Doesn’t matter what the question is, as long as its a question. Whoever messes up and does not say a question, drinks.
King- Pour!- You must pour a little of your drink into the cup that is in the middle of the table. Whomever picks up the LAST king must drink the whole cup, which could be filled with different drinks, so who knows how bad it could taste!

How hard can it be right? Well we are down to the last two cards and three kings have already come up. It's between me and Mark. We are umming and ahhing especially as Swapnal has picked a jack so has the ability to make a rule. Something to do with a coin toss results in me getting picking a nine. So Mark has to drink what's in the middle as whatever is left has to be a king right? WRONG it's a four. Swapnal has issued us with a deck that only has 3 kings X-D He downs whats in the middle and we move on.

Cocktails! You see we are a sophisticated bunch so mix our cocktails with Dr. Pepper :-/ . It's not that bad tbh but Roger takes things to another level. He's getting busy with a watermelon and banana and comes back with some ever so fruity! :-D Vicky pops in at some point, the chronology is a little messed up, I didn't take enough pics so I can't rearrange the night into exactly the right order. Not a fan of being photographed so much so she takes a pic of me, a bit of a poser so I'm loving every moment! Oh and the macarena! I have a video that will no doubt be making an appearance soon.

So after a lot of talk we head off into the night, MOKA HERE WE COME. Well as it turns out as its 23:30 they are having an invite only night :( . We wander here n there and manage to summon Eleanor out of the depths, apparently she thinks of me every time she smells her hair. Wondering why well you should come ask me in person :D :-P or it shall remain a mystery!!!

We go to cubes and it is dead, I mean there are a hand full of folk milling around looking bored. So after one drink we leave! Well we are heading home at breakneck pace and realise that we haven't any food! To the nearest takeaway!!! I of course decide on a tower burger n pizza. Burger for now, pizza for breakfast, standard. Here's something strange I do not remember walking back to Swapnal's. Hmmm I remember seeing Vicky outside the takeaway with Karly. But after that it's like BAM we are back at Swapnal's. Peculiar.

That's when Eleanor and her motley crew show up. I only really got to speak to Michael, sound bloke who offered me some JD straight from the bottle. Now here's the line up: Mark Mumby, Daniel, Laura and Josh. We sit we talk for what seems like forever! They all bail to go get food.

In this gap I consult my watch and realise its 03:00! Two of the chaps from work are thoroughly surprised at this and consult their phones. Turns out it is only 02:00! I had set my stopwatch at some point three hours previous and left it running!

They return for reasons I don't understand so we set about tidying up a bit before heading to bed. Vicky is back!  And helps me assemble the three sofas into quite the substantial bed :D I'm expecting a lengthy chat about travelling and life but she bids me good night. Still the only bed in that house I haven't kipped in, soon...

The next day creeps up and I have to head home asap as I have to drive over to Mexborough. Not hungover but I've only slept about 3 hours. At my advanced age, 26, this makes me look approximately 1 million years old. I see out the day fuelled by various stimulants. I know I should be the new poster child for healthy living!

How awesome is this!

How cute/badass was Chloe Moretz!


So here's a vid of some rather amazing dancing from Swapnal, Mark and Vicky!!! Yeah I think at least one of you is kinda gonna hate me for these :-P

The Man from Earth

This is the title of a film that my baby brother has been badgering me to watch since he saw it a few months ago. Now initially I didn't watch it just to wind him up + there is a certain resistance to doing something that someone says you should do. You know that old rebellious streak that just doesn't want to do something because someone else suggested it!

I usually find this with family more than friends, colleagues etc. I wonder why that is!? Is anyone else the same way? :-D

The film explores lots of ideas, concepts etc. and the original storywas written over a period of many decades. The central idea is one that is rather intoxicating, immortality. Whenever I hear the word I think of two things:

1) Highlander - There can be only one! Great film let down by a bunch of sequels. Not to be confused with the programming language :-P

2) 300 - The Immortals were that beastly army they describe. Their name is tested etc.

Little bit of clickbait to see whether a buff man works any better than Ellen Page from the last post. She looks a little too young for my liking, very pretty girl. But inspires a paternal instinct to protect and nurture etc. Making sense? I dunno sometimes!

Now the film is rather cool but what I really want to do is make you all watch it. I know that by saying that I have likely made most of you not want to watch it. It is on vimeo, for those who aren't willing to pay the £3.68 for it on amazon! :-P I'll be getting a copy soon so you are all more than welcome to swing on by and watch it along with me :D

I bought another book! It's all about the basic plot lines that all stories follow :-O. More to do with why we, as a species, feel the need to tell stories. This is the sixth book I will have on the go now. I am terrible at finishing books, I start one then another and another.

Also my Qwertee T has finally arrived! :D YAY. I thought they were being uber slow, which they were. But it appears I have been blacklisted by Royal Mail...

They sent a letter saying that there is a hazard preventing the safe delivery of mail! Remember that beehive I tried to take down? I think that that is the cause. From the looks of it the bees have vacated, haven't seen them in a while, but I've asked broski to observe the doorstep for any suspect behaviour tomorrow.

Back to the T :D it is epic! :D That's all I'm saying for now but it did come with a free bag of sweets! :D The first company to win me over with free sweeties was Firebox! Who else used Firebox? They still exist and have a bunch of funky stuff available :D It's kinda counter-intuitive that I should be endeared to a company by their offering free sweets. Remember what they told you at school about taking sweets from strangers? Well this is a company sending you free sweets. CONSPIRACY!!!

Conspiracy sweets and yes that is my actual thumb :-O

Despite it coming with sweets meant to entice me into a false sense of security I am rather won over by the company. That maybe because the envelope featured this:

The address label features a cool creepy robot who says your name and address! :-D Bowled over and will be buying lots of T's in the future!

Ok so yes I like roller derby, I think we've established that much. So here's a vid on a card game some rather funny frenchman based on the sport :-D



http://www.ulule.com/rollerderbyjam

Remind me to buy a paper watch :D

Where do I begin?

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind. There has been good news at work, I get more things to do! YAY. I love having stuff to do, it helps to pass the time. Reminds me of the last episode of Sherlock. If you haven't seen it yet then sod off and don't read this next bit. Moriarti is on about how he just looks for distractions as life is so very boring. If we put survival to one side, i.e. you don't have to worry about a roof over your head or food on the table, then it kinda gets that way right?

I also came across this, www.the-50.org, shared by none other than the roller girl who draws in secret! 50 Things Every Creative Should Know is the title but after thumbing through a few of them I'd say that isn't the case. It looks like things that everyone should have a quick read of, not just creatives. Alternatively one could argue that everyone is a creative, to a greater or lesser degree, hence this is for everyone! Yep you are not goin insane I did just use "one" in a way that makes me sound like a douche.

Suprise!

There was a staff nigh out, bowling followed by a meal. I was driving so this was the third work event I've been stone cold sober for. Will I ever learn? Probs not. This is going to sound like a bitch ass excuse but it's the truth! My wrist is all over the place, sprain/strain I reckon, meaning my power was way down. So who knew me in the old days? I'm talking before I was 21/22 ish? I was always Mr. explosive, that is to say I could hit, kick, tackle etc. harder than the average bear. Not sure where I was going with this but there we are.

I now recall that a certain Mr. Wayne Kerr was in attendance ;-) Oh and we discovered that Swapnal is apparently irresistible to underage teenage girls! There were a bunch on the lane next to him and they persisted to continually try and chat him up. Ah reminds me of a simpler time, before I got all serious and what not. Mark was also awarded a medal for his impressive efforts and mind bottling score of 38! If you get that reference then I'll give you a hug :D

I sucked at bowling, no power :-(. But I was treated to the spectacle of Mark Taylor "bowling". The lad does not conform to any social norms. This extends to bowling, which he does bolt upright. He has also been on stonking form at work! Now that coupled with Swapnal's 157 in one day means I may have to step up my game yet again. I've been coasting for some time now. I'm wondering, just how hard can I go?

That leads on rather nicely to something I saw many years ago. Anyone else watch a show called Last Man Standing? It was about a bunch of athletes, in different disciplines, going head to head, in tribal sports, around the world. Too many commas? Anyway here's a trailer:

Looks cool right? Well I enjoyed it when I watched all those years ago. One of the challenges is an river race and if the athletes are worthy they are given a "special" word to help them through the race. The American geezer with the aggression problem, Jason, doesn't get a word. So he makes up his own word to help him power up when he's down. And that word is HARDER! Whatever he's doing he'd just try harder, simple no?

Anyways I had one of those epiphany moments when something you hear instantly resonates with you and becomes part of your thinking. When I train this is pretty much what I do. Last Saturday I bought a new exercise bike, I think I may wear it out rather soon. Sound familiar? Well that's because I mentioned it last week :D I've noticed that when I use it I tend to go rather hard, so much so that I can't really do anything else whilst cycling. I've often heard people like to read, listen to audio books etc whilst doing their cardio. Why is it that whenever I do cardio it has to hurt or I just can't bear to bother with it at all? #masochist

I attended a funeral this week. It was for someone I've known for a since I was 8, that's a long time folks. I always took that certain people would always be fixed points in my life. The realisation hasn't descended on me, just yet, that there is no such thing. I won't go into detail as I don't think it would be right for me to share something that is not mine to share.

On a lighter note I did see Sanjay and Sarah there. They were their usual enormously welcoming, easy to talk to selves. When they emerged from the building the wake was being held in they both looked a little dazed, eyes half closed. This made me suspect that they had overindulged in the usual past time at wakes but alas I was mistaken. They'd been indoors in the relative dark and had just stepped into the light, hence the squinting. Also I learnt that the difference between a zinger burger and a zinger tower burger is a hash brown! And I have it on good authority that KFC Krushems are the best thing ever, this statement was accompanied by a camp "oh stop it you" hand gesture. Not gonna name n shame but you know who you are :-P

Well most, if not all, of you know I kinda have a soft spot for Roller Derby. Something which I've written about at great length here. Last week on ITV they were airing Whip It, it's a movie all about the sport. Before viewing it I went to my source for all things derby related, that is of course yep the roller girl who draws in secret! That's TWO mentions in one post. I think I may have to get out there and re-establish my network. I keep mentioning the same names over and over. They are some rather awesome folk to be fair so maybe that's not so bad.

Anyways back to Whip It, it's pleasant enough and goes over the basics of roller derby. Oh here's a list :D I do love to make lists of things! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!


What I liked:

• Spot on atomosphere + general badassness
• Names
• Jimmy Falon
• Switching a nerd to a hottie with a shave and a haircut! Means there is hope for all us nerds ;-)
• Speed difference in the two sides of Bliss' life
• She skates like Phoebe from Friends runs :D

Not so keen:

• Shoehorned love story
• Stereotypical overbearing mother
• Confusing camera work during bout scenes
• So many coincidences, I realise this is because film have to work quickly but it still annoys me!
• Not enough detail on rules, makes it hard to follow whats going on exactly unless you know the sport already.

This week I also learnt the term clickbait! So here's a pic of Ellen Page:
She's actually in the film so I'm completely justified in putting this pic here. It's not just a cynical way to get anyone who likes the look of lovely Ellen to click through to my blog post :-P !

Was asked if I'd be buying any of the next gen consoles. I always assumed I would but come to think of it I don't have the time to game as much as I'd like to. Things'll only get busier so I think it may be time to move soon. Moving worries me a little but maybe I can convince some kick as people to move in with me thus making the event something to look forward to rather than something to fear.

Or I could go live alone...

The end of one and the start of another!

This weeks occurrences, in the beginning there was the waking up having had 4 hours sleep. I know what you're thinking, that's not unusual! It's not but I'm no longer the spring chicken who could run on such minuscule measures of rest. Like it or not I'm getting older! Well at least that's what they tell me. I suspect an illuminati plot to make us all give in to getting weaker and less awesome! To counteract this I'm going to get stronger and more awesome with age.

So anyhow there are some serious movements afoot at work. I shan't speak of it as I am sworn to secrecy. I can tell you that I work in the dairy industry and that I sometimes wear a cape, mask and thigh high...I've said too much!

As a result of this season of flux  I once again ended up with a boot full of milk! This is surplus that has to be consumed by the 5th of August. This results in what can only be described as a milk party. Tuesday I drank 2 pints of milk, best not get carried away it is only Tuesday after all. Wednesday saw me drink 1.5 litres of milk. To complete the dairy picture some cows wondered around the field that the borders our "office"!!! I must've drunk at least 2 litres of milk on Friday. See photos for photographic evidence of cows and milk! Funnily enough some of the milk froze! Contact with the back of the fridge will free things, imo. Damn heat exchange surface placement!

Anyone see this when I posted it earlier this week? How does it go? There are only seven storylines in the world? I have since purchased a book that is hopefully going to tell me all about it so I can ruin all conversations about films, books etc by neatly categorising them into the plot type they fall under.

Mark was on dynamite form this week "A hurricane = posh posh wind!" and "the River Dearne has it's own radio station, google it!" Myself and Mark were left alone in the office without any supervision on Tuesday! We did quietly get on with work and there was a welcome disruption from a few choice visitors. I managed to successfully operate NAV! Also found some faster ways of doing things that we do day to day! :D I do love to find slightly faster ways of doing stuff. I wonder if that could be my job? The guy who finds faster ways to do things, I'm sure there is a suitably fancy title I could concoct to make it sound like I actually do something valuable.

Did anyone watch last week's Science Club? Just me? Really? Well I am a bit of an outsider/nerd/general weirdo...you get the idea. Any how it was really boring! Well the bit about being able to rewire your point of view with some odd lenses was awesome. Neuroplasticity! This weeks featured this dude, I mean really he's a kick as physicist and he's absolutely breathtaking to look at. Unfair or what!

There talk of the the cosmological dark age, just after the big bang, got me and my broski talking.They are using a low frequency array to look for gaps thus indicating the formation of stars or maybe black holes! So instead of looking for eggs they are looking for the lack of eggs. This would indicate the presence of omelettes or maybe scrambled eggs! We spoke about this in enormous detail until the cows came home.

Actual cows that are actually visible from the window of our "office"

 There was an image the caused this uncharacteristic outburst: Good god! How could you ?! From non other than the roller girl who draws in secret. I can not share said image as it has been placed in a secure vault so as not to cause any more such outbursts. If we know anything about outbursts it is that if they come thick and fast we run the risk of destabilising the outburst/repression balance!

So 2 films in a day! Was to be The Wolverine and The World's End. So I text Stephen, thus awakening him from his epic slumber, he'd been up till 04:00 playing vidjoe games! Weird I know as he's not that into gaming. He gives me a ring and my brother answers as I am busy edging forwards in traffic. I buy a massive pepsi and head for the screen. Stephen immediately comments on the screen we've got. 9! "It's ever so cosy!" Now I had Stephen pegged as many things; gamer, manga lover, IT genius, squash drinker, tall man, generous lover etc. But I did not have him down as a connoisseur of cinema screens!

New Thor trailer! Stephen turns to me and says he doesn't understand what Loki's motivation for becoming evil. Now he's pointed that out I don't either! I suppose it's just who he is. Bit of a flimsy reason given my belief in everyone's ability to change who they are whenever they choose! Yep another link back to an old post. You love that stuff right? Cos what's in this weeks doesn't take you long enough to read. Always thinking of you guys :-P

SPOILER ALERT Wolverine is good enough and has it's moments of humour and general awesomeness. But the damsel in distress bit was rather boring + not explaining how his powers were going to be stolen. There was a sweet looking tease for the next xmen film :D I may not sleep tonight thinking about it!SPOILER ALERT

So I update Stephen about the business situations etc. And we chat about this n that before parting ways. Now I've got time! But I really need to pee! Who knew a litre of pepsi would have that effect! The nearest bathroom is in Mcdonalds. After using the facilities I feel bad if I don't buy anything so I go for the share box. Lots of chicken on offer by the look of it! Not the case -_-  it is a mediocre amount of chicken! You never fail to disappoint me Mcdonalds. Still hungry I go to Subway where I consume a messy foot long Meatball marinara with all the salad :D damn it was good! Messy aswell, a view the entirety of anyone walking past Subway that day would have treated to!

I did see someone I hadn't seen in a decade or so. He's average height, blonde hair, loves weights, drives tanks, constantly in a rage? Anyone? No well it was Calv Taylor! I was so dumbstruck at seeing this blast from my past that I couldn't stop smiling for a good minute then realised I should have said something. I really suck with stuff like that! I remember every face no really I remember every face.

Little broski recently purchased a phone and needed the contacts from his old phone transferring to his new one. The old phone is many millions of miles away, India so not technically true but it sounds better than thousands I think. Agreed? So they are all on his old sim. The man in the 3 shop bungs old and new sim in what looks like a pocket calculator and bobs your uncle done!

We then proceed to Argos to purchase a universal remote, broski dropped his thus making it impossible to activate the 21" tv he uses as a monitor. So we don't buy a remote as neither of us has done any research on them, to amazon! I leave with an exercise bike. It's in an average size box, the sort of box a pc tower would arrive in. But it weights 25KG and the weight is unevenly distributed. Now those of you who knew me in my camping in the gym days will think I've gone soft. And to a certain extent I have. Walking from Argos to the carpark is hilarious as it is ever so crowded and my brother and I don't really talk while we walk. Oh we are each holding one end of the box with one hand. He goes left I go right, bollards, lamposts, baby buggies it's a hilarious nightmare!

We get to the car park and ascend several, two, ramps to get to the car. On wards to the Slug and Lettuce! Now lunch was consumed at 15:00 and it is now 17:00. Not that hungry tbh and neither is Eleanor! She's had a big lunch. Me n the broski have a disappointing starter platter with some horrible olives. People cower indoors on account of the rain, luckily we have secured seating under an enormous umbrella. All covered except for the spare seat at our table, Eleanors! She arrives and demands to know where we are over the phone, spots us soon enough and nonchalantly solves the damp chair issue. She also appears to like the horrid olives we have exiled from the platter! Not high maintenance at all based on all the evidence available from what I've observed. I would make more observations but they tend to be a little too close to home so I shall refrain for now.

A hop, skip and a jump to the cinema where the ticket desk is closed! But we go to get tickets from the Ben & Jerry's counter instead. Here's the dumbass thing, I was at the cinema earlier in the day to see The Wolverine, so I could have gotten tickets then and had my pick of seats. But this is 5 mins before the film starts on a Saturday evening! D'oh! They've only got seats left on the front two rows :( Sitting there ruined my experience of Avatar, never again!. After some umming and ahhing we conclude to return tomorrow to see The World's End.

What Happened on Sunday shall follow if you are really good, eat all your veg and don't bow to societies expectations of how you should live your life ;-) :-P

Still Saturday we can't part ways, I think we are all the same in that we don't want parties to end. Unless we are sleepy or about to get laid. Then we couldn't care about the party. We hover about getting in the way at the Costa counter as Eleanor drinks a fruit cooler with two straws. Apparently it's like a solero that has melted, a tag line for sure. We observe some swans who are being attracted some kind soul scattering bread for them.

Intermittently one of the males puffs up and scares off the rest. How do I know it's a male? Well that's thanks to Elle who informed us that the males have bigger black bulbous bits on their bills! There was a young female who approached with an itchy head. We knew this because she was shaking it and proceeded to itch it with her foot. In order to reach her head she had to dip her head under the water! Blowing bubbles and scratching it with her foot, quite the site.

SUNDAY!

So I have finally gotten round to writing about Sunday the 4th of August. My god where did the year go? Seems like only yesterday I was sat at the beginning of the year not wanting to go back to work after some superb festive jollity. I fear I'll be soon sat at the end of my life looking back wondering where all the time went!!! I am listening to the Dr. Who Series 3 theme btw and it is making me all extra emotional/contemplative.

I awoke Sunday with my interiority in turmoil, certain things have happened that have left me questioning my choices etc. Ever feel the universe is trying to tell you something? From time to time it screams at you. Events occur in such intensely quick succession that I kinda feel a lesson is being blared at me. That said I do believe that something valuable can be gleaned from even the most mundane day to day occurrence. I'll stop right there.

Make a list of things you want to do and start doing them. I mean it my list is enormous and I have zero time atm but when I find even a little time I'll be doing all the shtuff :P I want to lunge wildly at the pope! If you get that reference I love you and I will marry you :-D If there is more than one of you out there that get's this reference, likely as there at least 100K people who glance this ridiculousness, then there are two options open to us:

1. A first come first serve basis - the first to admit they get the reference receives my everlasting love and admiration.
2. We move somewhere where polygamy is legal and live in an enormous happy family.

So Sunday! I want to dine on some exquisite burgers of the handmade nature. But my timing is off so I get pizza, it's gooooood! Scoff it down in the carpark and casually saunter down to the cinema. Wandering in I get a text that was sent at 18:40 from Eleanor it reads "2 mins from the cinema." The weird thing is that my phone says the time is 18:38. The explanation I want to be true is that this text came from the future! I badass-edly lean against a pillar and spot Eleanor walking in through the other doors. Our timing is spot on that day :D I proceed to explain the confusing situation that has arisen and how I suck in such situations. Eleanor splashes me with rain water, uncool.

The ads begin and I observe David Beckham doesn't speak in the new sky ad! You heard it here folks I noticed this!!! Also the trailer for Kickass 2 doesn't have the main dude shirtless so much, in the one they show on a Sunday evening. I wonder why? Film begins and I am instantly transported back to my days as a teen hell raiser. Think of all the things that kids did to make your mum think you shouldn't hang with them. I was a combo of all that stuff together. Anyone believe me? The World's End is well worth a watch :D

SPOILER ALERT Central themes of violence, conspiracy and binge drinking. Well I would say loyalty, friendship, taking a chance, saying yes etc also feature heavily.

There is also a bit about life being a prison that you build either consciously of unconsciously. But that's a story for another day. 

Bit like Che Guevara, moving on to the next fight etc.

Funny thing is that Simon Pegg's character is a real douche. An alcoholic who is constantly seeking a high, living in the past and suffering his present. Remind you of anyone? Oh and he still has a six pack and pecs despite all the drinking X-D SPOILER ALERT

   
I tend to have enormous discussions/laughing fits whilst missing whats on screen. I suppose the social expectation of silence at the cinema keeps a muzzle on me! 

Again we leave the cinema and part ways, I really hate it when a party ends. Even one where you sat in silence for several hours. Strange that, have you ever just sat with someone for hours without doing or saying anything? Just sat? I am happy to sit with people but they won't just sit there so I chat :D

Get back to the carpark and with a whole lotta change ready to pay the £7 and to my shock it asks for £2.50! As I arrived after 18:00 I just have to pay the minuscule overnight rate! :D

Ordinary is boring, be extraordinary!!!

My top 6!

1. 1st day of March - http://goo.gl/kuk9xl
2. Soiree, Sugarcubes and much snappage - http://goo.gl/CPBWcE
3. Liver... - http://goo.gl/yoLX6l
4. New job? - http://goo.gl/TcU7KB
5. I can run! No wait... - http://goo.gl/otIqkg
6. Roller Derby = awesome! - http://goo.gl/bDRCHN