It kinda gets on top of you, if you know what I mean.

So let's do this thing!

Well some of you may already know that I've hurt myself! I know it's not all that surprising given my history:

• Sprained ankle x so often I've lost count lets say 1,000,000
• Dislocated knees x at least a dozen times
  Torn hamstrings x 3
• Torn back muscle x 4
• Dislocated shoulders x 1,000,000 again
• Elbow issues x at least once a year
• Clicky sprained sore wrists x constantly
• Broken thumbs x 2
• Broken big toes x 12
• And numerous cuts, gouges niggles!

As you can see I'm have a tendency towards injury. This time it's a back issue. So I'm hauling my wise and ancient friend, Tim the dog, into the boot after a trip to the vet. Some of you may remember Tim, I've mentioned him once or twice, he's got an ear infection! Anyway this task would normally be a breeze as I am a big, burly boyo who used to fling other equally big burly boyos around a field on Tuesdays and Sundays. But my back has a weakness that has been worsening over the week. And it results in me laying on the floor and summoning a rather kickass physio, William Hopkinson. A thoroughly nice fellow who gave me lots of advice for a very reasonable fee. Looks like I may be out of the game for a while so be prepared to read a lot more of my overly long writing :-P

So the reason my back is a little weaker than it usually is because of a cool box! Well not the cool box but what it's full of. Now this is highly experimental stuff, with it's own webpage, so I can't talk about it! It's heavy and to load and unload it I have to lift with my arms at full extension. Putting all the strain on my lower back. Now I could have got Rebekah to help me, but in a typically macho fashion I favoured speed over common sense and planted the seeds of my downfall.

So you're asking who Rebekah is? Well she was hand volunteered by the ever kick ass Mr. Kitson. I was volunteered by Mr. Wright as I was involved with the last round of testing so I'd be au fait with the whole process. Oh and there was a little craziness that occurred resulting in me shooting back home to grab an extra shirt, pants n socks! Had to stay an extra night hence the extra shtuff ;-) On the way there the A1 is shut! So we take an extra long diversion and talk a lot of inane babble. You know the usual stuff about this n that oh and I also tried to explain our peculiar company set up. I don't think I really understand it so I doubt I managed to convey it so well to Rebekah.

Once there we get changed in to my delight I discover that Dave is available in my room! Means I can keep up with Suits :D So head to the restaurant and we both order the same starter, pate! I also get my T bone on! Turns out neither of us talk whilst we are eating makes for a serene evening. As it rolls around to eight pm my boyish enthusiasm for cool lawyers in sharp suits gets the better of me. In hindsight I probs should've crowbarred Rebekah into watching it with me reckon she'd have become a convert.

Oooh I've only known Rebekah for a few days and she's already washed, ironed and folded a shirt for me! Not saying that's the way to my heart but it can't hurt ;-)

I settle down and boot up the laptop as there are a few mins before the show starts. And get engrossed in a misinformation battle. As you well know I am a uber secret agent type assassin ninja sent from an alternate universe/timeline to rewrite history so the trees win the war. Also someone read a lot of my blogposts last week in one sitting. Who that hell was that? Not that I'm annoyed just mystified that anyone would read 10,000 words in one sitting :S

Anyway suits is good! :-D Anyone else watch suits I know a few of my FB buds from back in the day do. Loving Louis' development, the guy is stealing the show :D I watch a lot of this n that as I can't sleep! Eventually drifting off around midnight. With the TV still on. Around 03:00 I am awakened by a slight hum/whistle sound, my ninja sense is tingling so I spring to my feet and immediately regret that course of action. I have zero blood in my head so my vision clouds and I, momentarily, lose my balance. Any ninja would have struck me down and made their get away by now. So after I chill out I realise that the tv makes a humming noise when activated.

In my infinite genius I forgot to pack my phone charger. I'll be acting as a field sales agent, after a days experimentation, so a functioning phone would have been rather useful. Once awake on Tuesday morning I proceed to faff about till I am late for breakfast. Not making a great impression am I? Late when we were first scheduled to meet, then dashing off to catch my show early in the evening and now late for breakfast. Oh well! breakfast is a deluge of carbs and sugar the likes of which my system hasn't experienced in a long, long time. They have a rather impressive toaster. I'd describe it as a belt fed continuous toaster with a slide!

I want one but I rarely eat bread so it'd likely end up in the corner with the breadmaker

Off to the dairy to pick up our samples. That's as much as I'm gonna divulge. Want to know more? You know where the comments section is, so ask and ye shall receive :-P Then we go to a community centre it is one of the coolest buildings I've ever had the pleasure of conducting tests in!



Yep they have daleks! :D Had a thoroughly nice day, even if the results from the tests were inconclusive! Oh I got a free cake :D. Had my first jacket potato in ages as well. After the day is done I take Rebekah to the station so she can catch her train back to Lincoln.

Now it was just before we left the centre that I unleashed my penchant for arguing about anything. The topic was what is natural. I naturally came to the table with the idea that either everything is natural or nothing is! The discussion continued on the journey to the station. From Descartes to definition we speak about a lot of stuff. I think I may have let too much out of the bottle and scared the poor girl into avoiding me at all costs X-D hehe I can be a little overbearing!

I take a wrong turn so it takes me a wee bit longer to get back to the hotel. Once there I hand over the cool box full of top secret product to the hotel. I haul it out the boot and hand it over to the concierge to store in the fridge. I chill in my room, well I nap in my room. Then furiously prep for my day of being a selling. Lots of researching exact locations, likely price quotes and driving time between locations.

What did I have for dinner? Well it was a chewy sandwich, which was nice. I notice the barmaid may have a thing for me! So naturally I order dessert to my room. I head up,kick my shoes off and fire up the laptop. There is a knock at the door, I gingerly open it...

It's the same girl from downstairs! She's stood their beaming at me, holding a plate of profiteroles!!! So you're wondering what happened next, no doubt :-P Well I gentleman never tells :-O yep I am playing the gentleman card, you didn't see that coming did you dearest dudes and dudets!

Was curious about the gender split of those reading these. I am prone to think more guys would read them as most of my mates are boys. But then again these are quite verbose so maybe girls have the commitment required to see them through to the end. I dunno!

Plans, wings, pen 15 and Ludacris

Yesterday, as much as the day doesn't exist it did happen. Have I lost you yet?

Got up at 4am, caught the train at 7am got to work at 8am. I then spent 45 minutes sat on top of my suitcase, I carry my sleeping bag in a suitcase because I've lost my sleeping bag bag. Steph our superb delivery agent swung by to take the piss and drop off our Friday delivery.

Set off from work met up at spoons for a civilised drink. Mandy drove us! Reminiscent of my first week in the job when she drove us across town a few times :-D Some time passed and we headed off to Ribs 'n' Bibs. Where we'd liberally coated the table in our stock catchphrases/expressions. I then proceeded to deliver an extraordinarily moving speech only pausing to write Pen 15 on Sarah's hand. I chose to write in board marker, partly because that's all we had and partly because it should wash/wipe off quite easily. That said the Pen 15 was refreshed on a regular basis, awesome!

It's all sounding rather run of the mill am I right? But now comes the bucket of 50 wings which have to be consumed in 25 minutes. So I go flying out the gates chomping like a mad man. If one of the photos is anything to go by I eat wings with my eyes closed! As time progresses my face is slowly accrues a liberal layer of sauce, whilst the bib remains strangely clean.

In the end I managed to battle through 43 of the bad boys. That's 86%, but this is an all or nothing challenge and now my sad, sad face adorns the wall of shame :( :D.

But that's not all that happened, we discussed an enormous variety of topics: adoption, incarceration, cycling whilst under the influence, Marc's dedication towards becoming hench n gay, secret asians etc. The night kind of petered out after that. I also managed to pull off the five question con on Fish! Been meaning to try it forever and was presented with an opportunity too good to turn down :-D

Swapnal and I went in search of Mark, who was sporting a mankini + bib combo that was too...I honestly don't know how to describe it. But we walked in to a club stood around for a bit and decided we were in the wrong place and walked out again. Upon finding the right entrance the queue is look rather ridiculous, ain't nobody got time for that! So we grab a pizza and walk back to Eastbourne St. On the way we receive some abuse from some lovely young men shouting from a car :D

Get in, watch 2 Fast 2 Furious and then I decide to read a bit of Double Cross before dozing off. As I am reading about the exploits of Dusko Popov in America, Swapnal's new flatmate Vicky gets in from a night out. Of course she confuses me for Swapnal, as you all know we are identical in everyway so it's to be expected :P That said thoroughly nice girl who chatted to be for about an hour.