A few too many words...

Recently 5/9 of the people in the office I work in were made redundant. I'm usually the one who moves on for whatever reason. So for me this was all backwards and it left me confused and angry.

I'd only known this bunch for about five months but it hurt like hell, after I got over the initial shock I wanted to know what it was that had created such a strong bond. So I stared inward and backwards, then I wrote a few words to say at the sayonara night out we were having.

It has been recorded so forgive me if this isn't exactly as I said it but it is what I intended to say:

Evening, How is everyone tonight?
Now this does strike me as quite a bad idea, as I am in possession of the quietest voice in the entire office.

I am a man of few passions:

Working out: some of you may have had the ill fortune of engaging me on the topic. I can and will talk you into a state of quivering boredom about the gym, protein and muscle groups if given half the chance.

Facts: I retain and dispense them freely. Sorry again, I know this gets tedious really quickly.

Reflection: I spend many hours analysing every action/reaction etc.

Using my powers of reflection, which looks a lot like this.

The first thing that poped into my head was that I am terribly immature. <pause to write penis on Sarah's hand>

And of course, you are all sooo awesome!

But the little voice in my head was like "that's not good enough, go deeper!"

So I sat down and thought, then I stood up and thought and lastly I laid down and thought. Several hours later I snapped back to conciousness and realised that why I'm ever so fond of you all is because we've done some really weird stuff together!!!

Some examples:
Eleanor and I walked around an industrial estate handing out information on a local milk delivery service, for three hours!

All the lads mucked in and shovelled snow on many occasion's. I've delivered milk on several occasions. And this one time me n Swapnal headed out and I managed to hit not one but two stationary objects!

Sarah and I got to work extra early one day so we could head to a school n loiter outside the gates. Handing parents, who are obviously in a massive rush, info on milk!

Lots of lettering, canvassing, dropoffs, pick-ups, throwing a bottle around, paper aeroplanes, throwing a foam cow, throwing a foam ball, talking dbz. Soooo much stuff!

There is a lot of stuff there that I don't think I'll ever do again, certainly not in another office :( little sad at that if I'm honest! Suffice it to say that these unique experiences bonded us together.

I'm very grateful to have met you all and you've had quite the impact on me in the short time we worked together in that windowless office.

Now the sincere bit's over with I'm going to try n shoehorn in the phrases on the table into the end of this thing. Going forward I would like to encourage all of you to do some work!

You never know when or where a random fact may come in useful. For example you'd have to eat about 22 pounds of chocolate to kill you.

In life you'll have many opportunities to strike a pose. Whenever this opportunity presents itself remember to smoulder...

See it now: Contrast and compare!!!