Moustache woes

This week I've been given the helm of the good ship local. The usual helmsman, a flamboyant yorkshire man, is away on holiday. In his absence we have come to realise that he does way more than you think. Spending a fair bit of time emailing here n there.

I've also stopped trimming my beard back to a pedestrian length. I think it looks better for it but now my moustache is being unruly. It appears to have split into four separate parts. The bit that's directly under my nostrils, separated by my philtrum, and the side bits.

What do I do with the bits that won't be tamed? shorten them? Wait to see if they become more tameable as time passes? Any moustache aficionados out there want to help a brother out? Of course there are loads of you packing a killer tache out there that just aren't willing to post a helpful comment...just because you bleach your moustache doesn't mean it's gone!

There is a hedgehog that lives somewhere in my front garden. It may well be the same one from here:
http://mgb2000x.blogspot.com/2013/04/tim-labrador-and-legend.html

That's him there he's 12 but still has the same level of enthusiasm as he had as a pup. Even though he sees me every day! How does he do it, if I saw me near enough every day for 12 years I'd get pretty sick of me. Lovely fellow.

Saw him after driving back from Marc's farewell picnic. was sat in the drive that time. This time he, dunno if it's a he or a she tbh, was wandering around the front garden. I got within my explosive closing distance. This is the distance at which you can not escape my grasp. From my days as a street fighter/rugby player. So I could've dived, grabbed the hog and rolled to my feet in triumph. Well at least that's how it goes in my head. In reality I think I would have either landed on the hog from the hedge or missed it altogether and faceplanted on the lawn. This bit is just so I don't leave and odd bit of line sticking out. Well I think it looks awful so these words are odd filler.

So the working week ended with a nice surprise. I was awarded a bottle of wine! For services to transport, I basically ferry the workforce to and from work. Only other thing I'd gotten from work to date was free milk, a rather fetching fleece and getting to meet some rather kickass individuals :D

Got back in touch with an old acquaintance, always nice to hear from folk from my past. Now I realise the past doesn't exist it's just an illusion created by memory etc. Anyone who I haven't been in contact with for a while do just randomly drop me a line. I spend a lot of my time working out, reading, gaming and writing these monstrous morsels of verbosity. So if you do get in touch you will be disrupting goings on of the highest importance (!)

I finally got a frame for the awesome photo Marc gave me before he left Lincoln forever. I also stuck a quote I got someone to write for me in a frame. If you are reading this thank you for indulging me so often. It shall fit in nicely amongst all the other things that I have inexplicably held onto over the years. A pheasant's tail feather, a swiss milk thing, three old watches, a small empty bottle of Jack Daniels, an enormous empty bottle of grolsch, some black lightning. That's right I have trapped black lightning and I'm storing it in my room.

This week was also the first time I used a nose hair trimmer. Graham Norton was a guest on the one show, some time ago, and asked Adrian Chiles if he'd ever used a nose hair trimmer. Adrian was saw this a question that crossed some boundaries but reluctantly answered yes. Graham went on to describe it being a lot like what it would be like to put a bee up your nose. I can confirm that Graham was right it is a lot like having a bee up your nose.

Now I haven't had a bee up my nose but I have had a wasp up my nose before. I was young and someone had dropped some cake, thus attracting wasps to the scene. I was too busy charging around being a small boy to pay attention to the small swarm that had amassed in the vicinity. One went up my nose and I nonchalantly closed the other nostril and blew it out. One mother observed this and the word spread like wildfire eventually reaching the ears of my overprotective mother. She descended in a flurry of high pitched worry. I was fine of course and insisted that she unhand me immediately so I may continue haphazardly running about.

Now some time my world was jolted quite a bit details are strewn across this blog so I shan't repeat myself. One of the things that I stopped doing subsequent to what happened was polishing my shoes. Since I was in year eight I have always polished my shoes every week, now that's thirteen years.

Anyone out there, who doesn't know how old I am, care to hazard a guess based on the previous statement? I thought not...

Anyway it's been a couple of months of not polishing my shoes and today I buffed up the badboys :D. Now this may be something that I am blowing out of all proportion but I think it shows I'm moving on. Funny thing is I'm living on my own atm and I thought that this would lead to me descending into the depths of depression and darkness. But quite the opposite, I caught myself getting out of bed dancing! I've actually been dancing a rather frequently. Now dancing is something I LOVE to do. I can't emphasise how much I love to dance! This is not me bragging about how amazing I am at dancing, as I am average at best. But it just fills me with such awesomeness :D

I've also realised that I do like to write shopping lists, get in the car and drive to the supermarket without the list!

Sunday, I awoke and got my yoga on. Today was to be the day for afternoon tea! Or so I thought...
I was masterfully manipulated into going to Damon's Restaurant and Motel by the that sly siren of subtle suasiveness E Bizzle! I'm being unfair as all it took was a simple question, Damon's? Spent a good proportion of my morning fretting over whether or not I would be able to find a house I had been to at least a dozen times. The issue is that I had always been directed to the house and as such had never had any reason to commit it to memory! Luckily I knew the view from the window as it was the desktop background of aforementioned suasive siren. Funny thing is once I pulled up outside the house and looked into one of the windows I knew I was at the right place. I could see the outline of a disney princess or two.

Bit of a drive hither and dither which I thoroughly enjoyed. I love to drive. I've been driving for as long as I can remember and I've likely done more miles than most people my age. I've probs covered 15,000 miles a year at least, so 10 years on the road = 150,000 miles! I once did 2000 miles in a week! Ah I sure have spent many hours on the road.

After the road we pulled into Damon's and I was reunited with my old friend the chicken wing! I've not partaken of this poultry delight since my defeat, which can be seen here https://www.facebook.com/ribsnbibs Look for a sincere face of defeat wearing a rather kickass T. They have not been spoilt by the experience and I polished of 10 :D There is a bold claim from my fiendish fellow foodie that the ribs at Damon's are better than the ribs at Ribs'n'Bibs. Having never tasted the ribs from the latter I would like to ascertain by a show of hands which is better? Or we could differ to Harry Hill's preferred method of settling stalemates...FIGHT!

The ribs were rather lovely, ooh I almost forgot I had bread for the first time since the BBQ at Birchwood! Carbohydrates I hate you but I love you...

As a result of the awesomeness of the ribs my hands now smell delightfully smokey and sweet! What followed was a banoffee pie with ice cream. I've not been so full in quite a while and was unable to polish off the slice! I have grown weak in my old age...or all this dieting has actually depleted my previously inexhaustible reserves of gastric capacity. A short drive back to the house and we parted company. I always hate it when a party ends but then again from what I can see this is one long party...