Yet another week...

Inspired title I know, please try to contain your gasps of astonishment.If you overgasp it is not my fault. If you're looking for roller derby goodness then it can be found here:
http://mgb2000x.blogspot.com/2013/04/roller-derby-awesome.html

Well I am all alone on team Local yet again! Well our ops man is back midweek so I am no longer alone :D Things are going well and it looks rather hopeful based on the changes that have been discussed. Next week I shall be donning up at the crack of dawn to head to a dairy, not once or twice but thrice! Yes that's right our plucky delivery driver is off for a week so I shall be picking up and dropping off milk all around old Lincoln town.

Whilst driving back from work one day I spied a creature by the side of the road. Initially I thought it must have been a cat as they tend to sit in warm areas generally being lazy so and so's. But as I approached it started to look less feline and more avian. It was in fact a lone chicken by the side of the road! Now that's what I call comedy!

There is something that I think I dreamt but I'm starting to believe this actually happened. This bit actually happened: An old friend showed up at my door late last week in something of a distressed state. I was confused to say the least as I live a long way away from any of my nearest and dearest amigos. The dude had actually travelled a significant distance to seek my help! Upon reflection my confusion deepened as I don't trust my own judgement! I won't go into detail but we stayed up talking and drinking till rather late that evening. I'm not sure I presented any solutions but I am a good sounding board and I can show you near enough every possible outcome from a potential course of action.

Had a birthday recently? There may be a mystery card you have received here's where it may have come from: I had wanted to send someone a card for their birthday but I had no idea of their exact address and I wasn't about to hand deliver a card as that would be at least a little weird.  I'd even drafted a funny message to go in said card. My old mate was cheering up and asked me why I was writing all this stuff. He'd read most of my blog, 16000 words +! I told him that I honestly didn't know but it rather enjoyed it so I just kept at it. Much like my continuous working out or intermittent beard growing.  

I keep fragmented notes whenever I have an idea and  he was reading my various scribblings and asked what the birthday message was about. I explained the situation and he looked very serious for a moment. I thought nothing of it and went to sleep as I was up early to do some banking. About an hour later he woke me up and asked me some questions! Now I was in a rather sleepy haze so I just answered and went straight back to sleep. That bit I'd decided was a dream as why would anyone ask me that particular series of questions?

When I awoke he'd gone but he'd left a short message which read "cheers for listening, I hope it all works out" What works out? This thing we call life? My quandary over whether a low carb diet was cutting my body fat thus revealing many surface veins or was my blood pressure uber high making them pop out? I am lost by the note he left. But I put it to one side and  thought nothing of it. Now here comes the worrying bit, a payment has been made from my debit card to a well known online card retailer. I called my mate to ask what he'd done and he tells me that he can't remember doing anything. So he may or may not have sent a card to someone for their birthday having somehow managed to find their complete address. Has anyone received a card that contains a very long message? In his level of inebriation he may have sent the card to any number of people, sorry!

Moving on I haven't trimmed me beard in a while so it's starting to resemble the mighty beast that it was in my first year of uni. The reason why is because I am lazy and haven't bothered, far too busy not eating carbs and not sleeping enough. I quite like having a larger beard as it makes my chin look enormous. Only problem is that the moustache has grown over my lip! Not an issue except for how it continuously gets all up in my beverages! After thinking about it for several days I decide that it is indeed time to trim. I quite like my beard trimmer but in my laziness, it's been sat on my bedside table gathering dust. 

It's 21:00 and I've been awake for 16 hours so it's not the best time for trimming. But why wait for tomorrow when you've got today, right? Walking to the bathroom I am filled with fear as I have an annoying habit of trimming a bit off here and then a little from here and before you know it things look ridiculous. I was forever trying to even up my sideburns, never managed it to this day.

When I switch on my beard trimmer a single startled moth flutters from it! It has been lying idle for so long that nocturnal insects have taken refuge within it! Anyways my moustache is in reasonable shape now and I have successfully avoided trimming too much off! :D I really want to grow one of those handlebar ones that ott villains have! Mostly because I see myself as more of a villain than a hero and if I have the stache then I'm halfway there! Just have to become diabolically clever and build a lair in a volcano!

Took the car to have two new tyres fitted, booked at a garage that was on my way to work. But then it turns out that said garage has moved to the other end of town, doh! Get it there the next day and they give me the equivalent model with the new body shape. I am not impressed! It's been made blander! But the brakes are seriously snappy and the throttle much more responsive. Freaked me out when I got back in my car afterwards. Seemed sluggish and slow to stop. Not a good combo, think I'm back in form. I also think my satnav has died :( sad times. Luckily I've got a backup stashed away. Now this is the height of opulence not one but two satnavs!

When leaving work today I spotted a hedgehog at the side of the long driveway out, I paused and pointed this out to Swapnal and David. Swapnal has a pic stashed away somewhere that he should share soon. 

 So as you can see I am popeye and my fuel of choice is sprite  :D There has been a can of sprite sat in the drinks holder on the passenger side since I dropped my family off at the airport a couple of weeks ago. This can did appear to have a bit of a bow going on along the top. In jest stated that it will surely explode one day. The universe saw this as more of a command... So when I go to pick up my car I see an odd shape where a regular can of sprite once was. At first I can't quite figure out wtf it is. I mean look at it. But it slowly dawns on me that it is in fact the result of leaving a pressurised can in a car on a hot day! Don't do it people things just get sticky!

Stephen K Amos once said that in life you have to "find the funnies. " A homeless man with a laptop or shouting baboon at three in the morning to a room full of people. This week the funnies were a thirsty hedgehog, an  exploding can and a girl showing off on a swing by spinning upside down only for her phone to fall out of her pocket to the ground!