A gathering...

I have three other things I'm writing atm. So there may be a torrent of blog posts that come raining down any minute now! Also the six nations has crept up on me, which is pretty impressive if you consider the combined bulk of the six nations! Little too liberal with my use of marks that denote exclamation? I get excited rather easily I may not show it.

This is one of my accounts of a night out. As is the way it started with a journey to tesco where I purchased what I thought was a very reasonable amount of pizza, 4. I then drove an interesting route to Lincoln. For those of you who like to savour b roads then you are in for a little treat. I went through Ruskington, Dorrington, Digby, Scopwick, Metheringham and Branston. I am of course describing a journey along the B1188 aka Lincoln Road.

I arrive about half an hour early and initially walk into the converted church hall, on Eastbourne Street, in a manner that can only be described as a little reminiscent of a home invasion. I walk out and ring the bell so I'm not mistaken for a tea leaf. Vicky and Andrew appear and are not surprised to see me standing in the door way. I go to grab my stuff from the car and as I am walking in I spot a shady character crossing the street opposite me. It is of course the king of excel and a man who does not mince his words, James Knight.



A bit of a chat and I tuck into a scotch egg. Man I love scotch eggs I ate four of the badboys that night! Andrew tells me about his work night out and I enquire as to whether he's familiar with an Eleanor who works in mental health. He says he's seen her name in the system but the last time I spoke to this particular Eleanor was over a decade ago. I felt rather old after I said that. But we reminisce about  birthday parties.

It's around now that I bust open a beer. I haven't had one since around christmas time and it's AWESOME! And around now Swapnal and Mark make their entrance! They are laden with many bags. As luck would have it Swapnal has also purchased 4 pizzas giving us a grand total of 8. We are expecting a total of six gents so eight pizzas should go down rather easily. Now here comes a surprise!

Swapnal busts out two crates of Guinness, two bottles of Disaronno and two bottles of Captain Morgan's spiced gold. These particular spoils are split between myself and James as way of a parting gift. I am rather speechless as I was not expecting this. Gifts are great and love to give them but when receiving presents I tend to have no idea how to react. My general awkwardness in such social situations may be indicative of an underlying ailment. It is of course giftaphobia, the fear of gifts.

Dan arrives and shortly afterwards he and Vicky set sail for Sheffield. I think they drove...I'm pretty sure no sailing was involved. All I know about Dan is that he plays the double base in a jazz band and his name is Dan! I wonder what kind of finger strength is required to play base in a jazz band. My curiosity stems from a quote from scrubs, JD is running away from Elliott and leaps into the lift. She reaches with one finger and opens the doors. He exclaims “Oh no, she's got a pinky hold. Elliot's got the finger strength of a rock-climbing jazz-pianist.”

There is some generic fuming and Mark reveals more than he intended to. We also realise that he has executed his plan with all the accuracy of blind hippopotamus. Accuracy Mark. And now comes the centurion. This is of course where we down a shot of beer a minute for one hundred minutes. That's only 4.4 pints in an hour and forty minutes. Easy no? In a word no.

We get going and I'm having a whale of time as my two drinking amigos are keeping pace. Around the 38 minute mark Swapnal declares himself out. And around 50 minutes myself and Mark throw in the towel. But the game has had it's desired effect and we are all rather merry. Bubba Sparx rolls round on the playlist and James busts a move to Birchwood Leisure centre.

An actual birch wood!

It is now that I realise I have no form of ID with me! No problem as myself and Swapnal are dead ringers. Not only are we of south asian origin, similar builds, power levels above 9000 etc. We also look and sound alike. We don't but pretty much anyone who has ever met both of us has gotten us mixed up. We stride with purpose to the Co-op to obtain cash. We realise upon arrival that it is shut, not cool Co-op. So we ferociously walk towards town and in our fury we meet Mark's chums. I remember a Chris and an Ash but I was rather inebriated so the rest of their names elude me. Apologies chaps, if we ever meet again feel free to try and spell my name.

It is now that we spot the queue. It can only be described as redonkulous.  We're on the guest list so simples right? Wrong we are pulling a crafty manoeuvre that requires some precise positioning on account of my lack of ID. So we line up single file. As I see this ridiculousness unfolding in front of me it is apparent that this is sure to summon more attention than less. So we reposition into a more conventional queuing formation ready to adopt our single file style at a moments notice. Two of our four man cell are in leaving Mark and myself to wait. Roger arrives and throws perfectly timed distraction. Thus allowing us in with no questions asked.

First order of business is to lose the cloaks, get a drink and drain the lizard. Having completed all those things we go in search of the rest of the group and find them one floor up. I realise something about my particular way of dancing, I need space. Something that is at a premium on a Friday night at Moka. I get over my spacial requirements and enjoy the night. Mark is having a tough time switching of his chatting reflex. He insists on having a chat with everyone within range. As I have mentioned once previously I am somewhat blessed. I think that worked against me on this particular night as I did feel a little like a piece of meat. Suppose we are all little more than pieces of meat!

Session artists, just like Jamiroquai!

The night progresses as per schedule and I am getting all the right signals from all over the place. But I just dont have the motivation to run the game. Then we go in search of the great outdoors again and take a wrong turn. Descending some stairs we turn a corner and try to get past the security. We are turned away as they are not letting people in anymore. So myself and my fellow crafty have made a decision that makes us look ever so uncrafty. We spot Mark, Amanda and Tammy chilling in the smoking zone. I take a picture, hug it out and head on our merry way.

On the way back we remember we have many, many pizzas! We've only consumed two of the 8! The walk back is uneventful but we discuss some matters of great importance. Namely we haven't had any Unicum! Upon arrival back at Swap's pizza is placed in the oven and the discussion continues. It was one of those times when my way with words was down for the count. I'd been awake for around 24 hours at that point and the only answers I could come up with were all cliches. But they were honest cliches. Andrew and his mate arrive from their night out and we distribute the Unicum. It was a mistake. That stuff is truly terrible neat. I've been researching cocktails on how best to get rid of the stuff. Playing with fire is something that you should only do if you're prepared to get burned :-P

And that's the end of the night as I headed to bed and awoke the next day. I headed upstairs grabbed the remenants of the pizza and a box of chicken. I go back to bed and finish reading Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. Spoilers in case you were planning on reading the book it centres around the idea of living by your own rules. Not a revolutionary idea but there is an interesting extension, to hell with everyone else. Follow my drift? "First do no harm" ringing any bells? The message here is do whatever you want, accept responsibility for any repercussions and that's all he wrote! I will go into more detail if you're too lazy to read the book :-P Another time.

Sweden and the Ukraine - Who are you mystery globe trotting reader? I've had a bunch of hits from these two places. I love that I have people reading these tings from all over the world: America, Germany, France, Australia, England and Nepal to name a small selection. But these two are new :-D

Soiree, Sugarcubes and much snappage

Yesterday was our first day in the new office. Windows, filing cabinets and I've even been given my own phone! Heart's still heavy but I'll live ;-)

The evening kicked off with a trip to tecos to gear up on beverages for the evening ahead. Once that was done and dusted the next issue was food. My experience of supermarket hot food counters is lacking, mostly because the first and last time I got anything from one it was extremely dry and completely devoid of flavour. I took the plunge and braved some bbq shtuff, under the expert guidance of Mark Taylor I also procured a Tesco Finest pie.

I've spelt shtuff like that on purpose. I noticed that's how I usually pronounce the word, when I'm being informal. Whilst this is written communication it's playing through my head in my voice so for it to go through your head in something akin to my voice I put shtuff in there.

Upon arrival we efficiently emptied the car and I set to demolishing the bbq and pie. Damn it was good! The bbq that is, the pie was lacked seasoning. Then come the drinking games...

We didn't have cards, schoolboy error! So arrogance it is. I was uncharacteristically unlucky and must've downed a pint by the time David Smith arrived and informed us he is a champion tosser. Marc Birch shows up just after sweating profusely, it's an oddly warm day. David demonstrated his champion tossing skills, Mark doesn't follow and for his naivety he ends up downing several pints.

We move on to Blackjack which is straight forward enough but seems to get old fast. So Texas Hold em it is then. Now anyone who knew me from my time at Notts will know I played a lot of poker, I mean a lot. So I'm think this is gonna be like taking candy from the proverbial. But Mark throws a noob shaped spanner in my works. He literally has no idea what's going on and raises for no apparent reason.

We then realise that several other folk have arrived and we are being ever so antisocial. We scatter to the four winds and meet n greet everyone in sight. I personally remember several names, now I know this is nothing to brag about. But I am terrible with names, faces I remember forever, but names elude me. The only way I've found is to commit both first and last name to memory then I remember them forever. For example I can remember first and second names of everyone I went to primary school with in Grimsby, 15 years ago. Urgh I feel very old right now.

It was just before this I remembered that I am now in possession of a camera and started snapping everything in sight! Near enough 200 pics, most not posed just grabbing the moment :D

Somehow beerpong rears it's notorious head and naturally it's boys vs. girls. It's all a bit hit n miss as none of us are distinctly deft with the ball. Then things get interesting and Mark suddenly displays the focus of a surgeon about to operate on his own brain. What's at stake? A hug n kiss from the hostess herself, Victoria Pateman. The tension builds and Mark casually makes the shot! The crowd rejoices and Mark near enough faints from excitement. I missed the moment but caught the instant before:

As you can see he's quite the showman and has earnt himself the nickname of Little Mark!

It was sometime after this that Mark lost his dinner in the toilet then he insisted he was going to Ritzys and after we refused to let him go he fell asleep on a pew! I should explain that the party was in what was a church and they've kept the pews!

Onwards...after sending Mark off home with James n David. We decided to power walk it to Cubes. Well initially the idea was to attend the Funk n Soul night at the Engjne Shed. I have no idea why we didn't go along. Craig Charles was in attendance!

So myself, Swapnal, Jimbo and Simo head off. Then we stop to retrieve Sam from his car. After some projectile... we get back to Jimbo's where we leave Sam and make our manly way to cubes.

I take a picture of someone we'd just met in front of a cash machine as well. I don't know why :S

Once in the club we hit the floor and I'm having a great time. As you all know I love to dance, I'm by no means any good but I love nothing more :D

There is a young man on the floor who is not dancing. He's got his shirt off and is oddly hairless. Simo is getting evermore irate with him and is trying to procure sponsorship to justify dropping the fool with an elbow to the head. After some gentle discouragement we avoid a scuffle.

Then we meet Mark's housemate Davide! I've only ever seen the dude in FB pics but I recognise him and get a few pics for posterity. I've not been witness to this before but Swapnal is quite the little mosher. So much so that he's near enough wound up everyone within 2 metre radius of us. Ah a crowd who want nothing more than to kick your ass, just like my glory days X-D

We eventually make it out of there and head for a takeaway. Where we bump into James and David! It is a small world after all :P

As we make our weary way back to Eastbourne street Swapnal insists on dropping his burger! This is a sure sign that we have indeed indulged excessively, the dude can handle his drink. As we approach the door a taxi pulls up, it's the other lot that went off to see Craig Charles, fortuitous timing. We sit around eating burgers and talking business I think. My memory is letting me down as I really can't focus on anything else whilst eating. Pretty sure I ended up getting mayo in my beard, never a good look.

I pop to the toilet and I can hear an argument blazing outside about who'll be sleeping in the spare room. I'm really not that fussed so I grab my gear and set up shop on the couch, after sometime turns out the spare room is still spare so I go to bed. Now I'm not sure if I fell asleep n woke up or if I glanced at my watch as I was falling asleep but it's 06:00!

Round 10:00 I get up with the pizza I didn't eat the night before n sit on the couch recounting all the stuff that has been forgotten. As you may have gathered my memory captures events in enormous detail.

Now for something completely different. Thinking about getting a Dragon ball forever scarred into my forearm.
That's them on the right. Now which one do I go for? Lucky numbers come to mind I have some that I'm struggling to remember why I consider them lucky. There is 22 and 8. 8 is something my gramps read starcharts and came up with but the balls only go from 1 to 7! Dilemma or what!

Pizza on the 7th of April

After what seems an absolute age I made a pizza yesterday. Was feeling a little lazy so decided to let the bread maker do the kneading. The thing is that the recipe I follow for pizza dough is exact except for the amount of water I add.

So I go online and peruse several recipes before concluding they don't know what they are on about and make the dough by hand. I say I made the dough but Rajarajan actually did most of the work.

Those of you who have had one of my pizzas will know I like to add way too much cheese and this one was no exception. Brie, Camembert, Gorgonzola and cheddar! Following this cheese fest I went on to dream about seeing my dog walking underwater like a hippopotamus, being shirtless everywhere and having a 2 storey conservatory.