Unnecessary Traversal

I had an appointment at Grantham Hospital this Wednesday, today as I write this. It was to see a rehabilitation consultant for reasons I am yet to fathom. I lost the handy letter with all the details and a map on so rang up and was given specific instructions to report to outpatients before 09:30. So I show up at 09:05 with no paperwork and tell them what I've been told. A lovely lady volunteer ushers me to the automated touch screen check in thingy and informs me that they haven't got my details at the main outpatients desk so maybe rehab/physio round the corner will.

I stride there and talk to another lovely lady who goes and asks those behind the scenes if they are expecting me. As I write this I remember I handed her my driving license, my name is out of the ordinary so instead of spelling it I decided on this course of action. I have just checked my wallet to make sure I retrieved it, I did, crisis over. She tells me that they are not expecting me so I'm probably expected at the other rehab clinic at the other end of the hospital. It is now 09:20 and I am running out of time.

I walk towards maternity and eventually see signs for "Rehabilitation". And then I arrive at a temporary wall blocking off the only corridor that allows internal access to rehab from where I am. The wall is blocking off some building work, fantastic! So I head outside in the hope of bypassing the building work and re-entering the hospital via another entrance, success! I wander into the rehab bit and it is rather deserted. Two nice ladies tell me the session has already started and asked if I still wanted to go in. This is some sort of group therapy. I explain that I'm here because I had loads of nerve damage and muscle wastage after rupturing two discs in my lower back. They direct me back to the physio department from whence I came.

I arrive back at the physio department and tell the nice lady that I've been sent back. She rings my local physio dept to see if they know what in tarnation is going on. They instruct her to use pause/paws/pas? I dunno some system that she is yet to engage. She tells me the name of the doctor I am supposed to see and sends me back to the main outpatients reception. You may remember that this is where I started me jaunt around Grantham hospital.

I speak with the receptionist and she tells me to take a seat and I'll be called in in due course. A couple of minutes later the doc pops his head out the door and calls me in. Not fussed that I am ten minutes late! So what's the moral here? Hospitals are useless? The NHS is a joke? Possibly but what I took away from it is do not lose the appointment letter they send you. Had I had it this whole series of events would not have taken place. Remember when I said I learn things the hard way? As it so happens the hard way was a 35 minute walk around a hospital.

Odd bit of metal work I saw on my way to the hospital.

Transient Big balls...

Does the size of the ball dictate it's potency?

Density surely plays a part as well.

Ball density...



DBZ yall if you haven't seen it then you missed out! This being the interweb if you look it's bound to be sitting there waiting to be watched :-D. My preoccupation with balls is because I now have three balls. Is that too many? Some people would say one is too many. I did think two was enough but now that I have three I reckon I've found my optimum number of balls.

Now for something completely different! It would appear it is time for me to move on. Not set in stone, I think I overuse that phrase! Do I? It would have been much harder to move on from my current state had I not been torn from it for three months. That was of course the time I spent in hospital + the time I was recuperating at home. Having returned to "normal" the decision is made that my routine shall be disrupted.I am used to this though I am usually the one who moves on. From school, uni, work etc. I've been the first to disappear into the ether.

Now in hindsight I was in something of a rut since around June 2013. Stagnation, it's the worst kind of nation. I need something that sets my soul on fire. Seeing as my body is in no fit state, my mind'll have to do. Urgh using the noodle is something I only resort to when all else has failed. All else has failed as my main pivot point is compromised. Maybe not...if I use my mind I should be able to come up with a way to utilise my body bypassing my spine. Yep I am proposing a spinal bypass. Sounds oh so fancy and what not right? Well it would be nothing more than a massive leather belt.

Never worn one of these bad boys, probs why my back is so messed up.

But that'll be once it's all healed and sealed etc. Got distracted for a 3 minutes and 47 seconds, Pass Out rolled round on my pumped playlist. Did I mention I love to dance? Maybe once or twice. If you're wondering who the first nutter on a dance floor at a wedding is, look no further! So how best to use this mass of neurons? I'm a scientist at heart at least that's what came easiest. Numbers, nature, patterns etc. And I find that stuff fascinating but it wouldn't get me out of bed in the morning or keep me up late at night.

The only thing that got me up early is training and the only thing that kept me up late at night is watching stuff on the internet and the obvious of course. So I should be some kind of PT/tv critic? Might as well want to be a rockstar/racing driver/genius. Being one out of three isn't so bad I suppose. Anyone else been considering something when hints present themselves? I'm at my what do I do next point in life and in comes a quote from a mystic. Big old beard, flies around the world, cheated creation and he loves to dance :-D, my kinda mystic.

"Do not do what you like-do what the world needs. Doing what you like is not freedom. 

Likes and dislikes are compulsive. "

Anyone believe in serendipity? The day I find out I'll be moving on I am emailed a job spec for some work that would help be pursue something that I have been considering pursuing. Vague I know but if I get specific we'd be here all day, not the most concise fellow in the world. So this appears to be pointing in the direction I should go. The job lends itself to my strengths but it's the location that makes it so appealing. Then I got another job ad for a job that'd give me a step into a career that my degree centred around, accountancy. And the office is described as boisterous! Best bit of my last job was the boisterous office! Oh and it's not just regular financial stuff it'd be management!

So I got myself into an enormous pickle about what I should do next. Then I did some physio work and rolled around on the floor laughing once I realised how ridiculous I was being. Too afraid to take the next step in case it's the wrong one. I mean really am I going to um and ah until both opportunities pass me by? Nope! I'm gonna jump in, at least that's the plan.

One of many fictional heroes I hope I grow up to be like :-D So I'm going to be rolling the dice and trying whatever I end up with. If it works, fantastic! If not move on! Bernie Mac, get my reference? If you do then you know the drill. Nuptials here we come. My frequent threats/offers of marriage may mislead you to think that that's what I'm looking for. I'd have you believe that it's not but the truth of the matter is that I honestly don't know :-S Big old I don't know or IDK if you will atm.

My final Friday treat!

Forgot that SDRG gave me the shirt on the Saturday we said farewell to her! The tale of the hat is one of the more lengthy anecdotes that add up to the fabric of my rich and colourful life! I was rooting through my bag to make space when I came across it and there it is! and there was an extra surprise I wasn't expecting. That is of course the awesomeness that's on the back!

Emblazoned, discretely, across the back!

I was going to leave it at that but then I received a phone call at 16:00 yesterday. I was thinking who the devil is this at 16:00 on a Tuesday! It is of course one of my oldest friends in the world Aathiththan, yep his name is harder to spell than my own! He asks me whereabouts I work and my response includes location as well as the fact that I no longer work there. Expressing his guttedness he asks me whether I'd be up for meeting up as he and his girlfriend are driving up the A1 atm. My answer...hell yes! Well it came out sure, need to work on effectively expelling my enthusiasm.

He asks me where? Well I'm thinking Grantham as it's not so far off the A1 so they wouldn't have to make a massive detour. Now here's a question I didn't think I'd ever hear "what's good in Grantham?" I've been six places in Grantham: Asda, the train station, Morrisons, the DVLA test centre, Meres leisure centre and the Farrier. Doesn't really give me much to go on when asked where we could meet up for some food. So I leave it down to him and his phone. They are about 40 mins from Grantham so I get ready sharpish and head out the door, takes me about 25 mins from Sleaford.

As I drive I realise we haven't set up any kind of rendezvous so I go to my nearest familiar landmark, Asda. It is then that I receive a call letting me know that they are near the Guildhall and they've found somewhere called Gurkha's Square. I have no idea where that is so I park at the top of the high street and hoof it the rest of the way. Turns out it's a fair old trek from point to point. But on arrival I am warmly received by the Aathiththan and Ro. The first Ro I've ever met!

Have a bit of chat about the state of my nerves, damaged. Their time in Africa, India and London. Interviews, dissection, learning methods, Manchester, my broski, marriage, jobs, redundancy, who I worked for, our history, the future, bungee jumping, being thrown like a ball, boerboels and so much more. Lovely couple and time flies by. Oh the Gurkha's square has a cracking table buffet. £10 for a massive starter and several main courses all brought to your table! Only thing was that they got filled up by the starter and it was a little early for me, usually eat around 19:00 and it was only 18:00.

 

Something my dear brother sent me.

Roller Derby = awesome!

21st of April 2013

Yep that's my actual shoulder n ear!

So today was like most of my Sunday's lately. Woke up early and studiously revised for my upcoming exam in May. Now how could this day get any more interesting, I hear you impatiently cry?

Well around midday I drove into Grantham and met up with Mark and Swapnal. Here's where I found out that our attending The Lincolnshire Bombers vs. The Bristol Harbour Harlots was supposed to be a surprise for Sarah! Neither my work friend or work colleague had told me that this was what they were intending, both assumed that's what I was thinking. And we all know what assumption is!

Once there we wandered about, looking thoroughly out of place until Sarah told us we should sit down. So we did, right next to the opposition's A team! She also handed over responsibility for explaining what was happening to M n S as I had read the rules, no pressure! I explained what I could to Swapnal and he'd pass it on to Mark, chinese whispers style.

I thought the whole thing was awesome and 5 hours flew by. Also Sarah crushed it as a manager, blocker and jammer, I think she may have been pivot at some point as well! In addition to this I won a hat, a purse and spa chill out gift bag. And there is kickass music playing all the time, I may have stumbled upon something very special indeed!

Incidentally I spotted a familiar face, Beth Parrot! Now she hasn't aged a day since a last saw her, a decade ago, so that was easy enough. I, on the other hand, have aged, so she most likely didn't recognise me. This bit is bull as she gave me smile both times I saw her. I was too chicken to say "Hey Beth, long time no see!"

BIT FROM THE 6th of JULY!!!

Well the idea was simple gather the troops: Stephen, Marc, Swapnal, Gerrard, James, Eleanor and Mark. And head to the Bombers next bout at home! Well that was today numbers were low! Three is all I could muster...note to self must work in muster abilities as they appear to be waning!

We did have a welcome addition in the shape of Emma, Swapnal's girlfriend? Dunno if he's into labelling folk/relationships etc.Anyway she's a delight and apparently a rather talented chef...I would like proof in the form of an extravagant something.

Anyhow the day started with a visit to a field where I am greeted by my old training buddies. These lads are about as dangerous as you can get without picking up weapons. Believe it or not I could go toe to toe with them not so long ago, mostly because I have very fast hands. I spent a large portion of my youth trying to be as fast as Ali, not even close. But I did get really really fast! Any way my footwork is non existent now and my fast hands have slowed considerably. I get comprehensively schooled and now I ache all over. Anyone see a group of shirtless, barefooted young men knocking each other about Saturday morning?

Onwards to roller derby!!! So I go to Morrisons and get some food, all low carb as I am a low carb monster. And then I pull in to B&Q's carpark to await the arrival of Swapnal, Emma and Eleanor. I receive panicked a text from Elle informing me she's running well late. Swap and Emma arrive and regale me with tales of how they went sofa shopping. Just to get out of the blistering heat, oooh it was ever so warm today! I busted out the shorts :D Edit: I did not bust out of my shorts! I busted my shorts out from winter storage!

Anyhow Eleanor is sighted in the distance and she's faffing around with her phone. Swapnal predicts she's about call me. Low and behold she calls! Asks where I am to which I make a scoffing comment about being in a car park etc. She's stood in the road and nearly gets hit by a car, I can see and hear her narrating the entire incident. She does worry my sometimes. Anyway she arrives wearing a lovely, skirt? Dress? Man I wish I'd paid more attention! I'm usually so good with observation! Obviously my morning exercise has left me dazed and confused. Anyway I regret not telling her about the seating arrangements.

Driving down to Grantham we've got all the windows open and it's loud + windy! There is a knackered box of tissues in the boot, which has no parcel shelf sealing it off atm. The whirling vortices swirl up said tissues and launch them into the back seat at Emma and Swap. They laugh, we laugh it's hilarious. Then the tissues make a break for the front, it's even funnier! One goes out the window :D

Anyway once we get there I seem to have lost my ability to park! WTF has happened to me, it's like me spacial awareness is all messed up. Things feel bigger and movements feel odd. It may be the new tyres I don't know!

When we get there we stride boldly to the hall and ask for our tickets. Kissy is on the desk today and she asks if this isn't my first time here. It's because of the tshirt she later tells me. Now I remember her name from the last time, I have a dangerously good memory for names. But if I were to address her by her skating name having only seen her skate once then I'd be the weirdo fanboy. Now it's no secret that I'm a weirdo but I'm still weird about people I don't know knowing. It's weird I know. 600 words so far before Sarah even sees us! And I got a free poster!

So we are milling around like fish :-P out of water, much like last time. Then Sarah gives us a rather confused look as Eleanor waves emphatically at her :D. It is now that Elle finds out we shall be sat on the floor... No torrent of expletives just mild annoyance along with a healthy dose of lets just get on with it shall we. Lots of explosive warming up and good mannered banter.

The first bout kicks off and goes by in a flash. I should really take notes as so much happens so quickly my senses do rather get overloaded. Very few sports have this time dilation effect on me it all seems to have happened in a matter of seconds! The same could be said for the second one over all too soon.

Anyhow I initially took an interest in roller derby for not so noble reasons but the sport is totally infectious. The physicality, dynamism, attitude, music and dancing make for a combo I haven’t seen anywhere before.  Dancing yes dancing!!!

Here's the kicker we went as a surprise for Fish but none of our lot said anything to her on the day. Well I suppose we surprised her and that's something :D

Ooh and I won a rather fetching red bag! Last time I won a hat, a purse and a pamper home spa kit thing! The purse is currently with Fish, I think. The kit was left for safekeeping with Eleanor so what I have is the hat and the bag.

Extra bit: Now I tend to write things over the course of days. This is because my memory doesn't function quite like everyone elses. I have bits that I have linked to other occurrences in my life and I sort of sort them according to importance and complexity. I picked up some of the subtlety of the sport yesterday that I didn't see in April.

This would be the level of communication between the rollergirls. They are constantly passing info apparently the pivot is the equivalent of a quarterback in american football or a flyhalf in rugby. I hadn't the foggiest! But I suppose that over time I am seeing more as I stop just staring in slack jawed awe. Also there was the sly moves that team members pull to help their jammers get through. The first time I didn't see any of this, neither did I hear any chatter during jams.

Three possibilities the first time I was overwhelmed. Anyone know if you can ever be just whelmed? An eternal question I first heard in 10 things I hate about you. Secondly we may have been sat too far away. This time we were pretty much in suicide seating, for those who don't know you sit on the edge of the outer track where refs skate and skaters with penalties and recycled jammers. I may be totally wrong about all of that I only read the rules once. Lastly the bombers may have levelled up and thats why I couldn't see these things before. I think the first is most likely.

I will be adding more but its late and I'm up at 04:00, milk party...for those who don't know I am an occasional milkman.

I also felt lazy as there is quite a bit more I could add, so for better or worse here it is. This is going to be a little general and sound like something of an excuse but it really isn't. No I'm serious it really isn't an excuse. Ok so a direct quote here: "we don't often win to be honest". At this I felt compelled to share my views on sport and winning. Whilst victory is awesome, how you get there is much more important in my book. Reminded of the story of a young boxing champ. His training, diet etc was so hardcore that he hated every moment of his life and only bit he enjoyed was winning. When asked is it worthwhile the answer that shot back was "only just!" Now say you put yourself through all that suffering and lose...what then?

So here's my take, enjoy what you're doing and if you win that's amazing. But if you lose then you had a kickass time anyway. Again NOT and excuse just how I'm seeing things right now. This links with the Bombers as they always appear to be having a great time, win or lose.

Something that I think stands as a testament to the niceness of the young lady we were trying to surprise is that she actually apologised for not finding the time to talk to us on the day. Now we show up, unannounced, knowing how busy bout day is based on our previous experience and still she said sorry. We were there to show our support for you and the Bombers :D This will no doubt embarrass her to some extent but seeing as I've started I may as well continue along this ilk.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, turned to me and said this several times on the day of the bouts. "XXXX is never meeting Fish, she's too hot!" The same person also uttered "I think I may have a girl crush on Fish"

And now for the poster I got!

 http://lincolnshire-bombers.com/

Razzo, TNTash, Total Melfunction, AK47 Guns, Wilde, Miggins and Arry. Written from memory so do may be totally wrong!

Even more to add, I know I suck! Well when we went to sit down Eleanor was a little annoyed as I've most likely mentioned already. But she adapted rapidly and preserved her modesty with some deft cardie utilisation. Now we were sat in what I now know to be "suicide seats", there's a warning sign and everything. It read something along the lines of "Suicide seating, 18+ only, you may end up with a roller girl in your lap, lucky you!" As you can imagine this sealed the deal and I stayed firmly in my suicide seat.

As a result there were several occasions when skaters came hurtling our way! But owing to their rather awesome ability to go from top speed to a dead stop my lap remained a roller girl free zone :-(. Now Eleanor strikes me as being rather fearledss but this thought was decimated on the day. I realise this is the wrong use of decimate as the thought was not divided into ten pieces but forgive me or kick up a fuss. I know none of you will :-P Everytime a collision between ourselves and a roller girl or ref looked likely she either leant behind me or grabbed my arm/leg. As much as I enjoy being useful I am not so sure about being a human shield.

That said taking impacts was a big part of what made me any good at sports. Henry Draper once broke his right hand on my face! Yep my head is that hard that it can break hands. This next anecdote is the one I'm more surprised by. I think we were in year 10 or 11 and KEVIS, Louth. We would regularly play rounders during the summer and I was on second base. Kat Hetherington was on first base and as the ball was struck into the air she set off for my base, as it was second and usually one would progress from first to second before moving onto third and finally fourth.

I was stood between second base and first base with my back to first base. This was because I had the ball heading my way and I wasn't about to drop a catch. I catch the ball and hear something of a kerfuffle coming from the opposition. I glance behind me to see Kat sprawled out on the grass. She had apparently legged it without looking and run straight into my mighty back. Now Kat is a very slight, in comparison to my hulking frame, and I honestly didn't feel a thing when she ran into me full pelt. So maybe if I were to take a hit from a roller girl at full speed it wouldn't be so bad!

I feel I should clarify that I was joking, I don't for one second think I would really stand much of a chance of staying upright if this were to ever happen. As tough as I was in my youth I am not the street fighting badman I once was. That said I'm still kinda curious to see how hard those girls hit...