Turning 23 on the 22nd so having a party on Friday the 13th...savvy?

I am ever so sober but I've ingested an inordinate amount of caffeine so tired as I am I can't quite drift off. Tonight is a bit of a blur but here are my cliff notes, for those of you who weren't quite as sober.

It started with a standard stop off at Tescos where I purchased far too much proteinous food. We then progressed to Swapnal's. Subsequent to unloading my shtuff out of the car I proceeded to hand him something wrapped in bubble wrap.

Hot nuts

Does what it says on the tin. There's actually a little message on the tin as to why they've named these nuts so. I then hand him something else wrapped in bubble wrap. This was something I'd thought about at great length. Swapnal likes hot, spicy things and he's rather partial to alcomahol. Of course I came up with chilli vodka! After extensive research, utilising the methodology of G.O.O.G.L.E I found that most recipes recommended infusing your vodka for several weeks. I had 1 week...so I had to get a little creative to ensure a sufficient kick was present.

I finely chopped several chillies and added them to a bottle of vodka. I then proceeded to intermittently agitate and heat the bottle to ensure the speed of infusion. Unconvinced that this would do the trick I invested in  a bottle of this:

Scoville Scale

Of course I had no idea how much of this to add so I poured a couple of drams out and added a couple of drops. Thinking to myself "How hot can it be?" I swirl the concoction, so as to evenly distribute the angry looking dark red liquid. I then swiftly draw it in to my mouth and swill it about. It is at that moment that I experience the hottest thing I have ever tasted. Not only was the burn epic it lasted for about 15 minutes and I could feel it all the way down to my stomach. So I add a single drop to a litre and take the extract along incase it's not enough.

Waiting around for the rest of the party to arrive we ended up playing poker. James wins, he appears to be making a habit of that. This won't do at all. Mark has disappeared home under the guise of grabbing a shower and change of clothes. But we all knew he was waiting so he could arrive with Mandaz. Oh and Tammy!

Mark left work at around 17:00 and he arrived at around 19:40. Not gonna analyse it, just pointing out something of a temporal anomaly. Upon arrival he starts tucking in to the pizza that Swapnal had kindly purchased for the party. Which somewhat confused the assembled masses as we had been informed by text that he had just frequented the chippie down the road. I don't think I'll ever understand Mark Taylor, an enigma wrapped in a pouch.

The night is documented here in photo form scroll through as you read!, access may be an issue if you are not within my friendship trigrams on facebook.

Vicky arrives and briefly says hello I inquire about where she works. I remember her vaguely mentioning the Co-op so I inquire and she explains using Sainsburys as a reference point. I once went to look at a Mazda Takuya down there the salesman knew the owner of the accountancy practice I'd just finished some work experience at.

I am then victim of some social jujitsu, getting someone to talk about themselves. The question is flipped and I'm asked what do I do? Well I do lot's of things but it can't really be considered a role. Consulting Swapnal he tries to explain what I've been doing lately, reconfiguring data. But that's not what I was doing 4 months ago. And what I was doing four months ago isn't what I was doing from December 2012 - May 2013. All for the same umbrella of companies. It's only confusing when I try to explain it to someone else. Vicky brings out the awesomeness that is face cake! It's a cake, already awesome, with the birthday boys face on it!

It is now that Eleanor and Mr. Manchester arrive. First name Josh last name Manchester, or at least that's what Eleanor would have you believe. Sound enough lad even if we didn't really get a chance to chat. Now we load up some shots of the chillified vodka. The general opinion is that it's horrible. Myself and my fellow craftsman thought it had a nice burn to it. Ooh and Ellegator gives me a birthday card! It has a tash on it! In my infinite wisdom I left it round Swapnal's house :-/

I'm flying high after that shot and Swapnal cracks open a bottle of Cobra King. I'm making my way to the bin deposit the remains of recently devoured chicken thigh and am frozen in my tracks by the possibility of a cork to the face. Swapnal being the gentleman that he is grants me safe passage before unleashing the cork.

After a little more chatter beer pong inevitably rears it's head. The form has been slightly modified to include my devastating chilli concoction. The girls in a fit of surreptitious sensibleness had hidden it away! But Swapnal engaged his craftometer to full craftiness and extracted it from whence it was hidden.

Expression on display: hmmm with a hint of trepidation?

There is a dry run to demonstrate how this whole thing is to go down and then the games begin! First blood to the girls and Swapnal manfully downs some beer. Mark gets the ball in and Amandas has to down a beer but she gets her own back immediately and Mark takes his time with his beer. You can't rush Mark, he likes to savour...everything! There are a flurry of misses but then Swapnal lands the ball in one of the shmaller cups! They contain the pain of vodka that has been infused with chilli extract, fresh chilli, cinnamon and mace. Vicky downs it like a champ. It is now that the formations of cups begin to change. They morph into a big back line with the one remaining small cup on at the front for the girls. Mr. Manchester gets one in and Eleanor has to down one, followed by Vicky. The lads have a slim lead. Then this happens:


It's all level, three big cups and one small cup left to go. The formation changes again and Mark is not a fan. He is berated for moaning so he busts out his impression of Tammy, it's not received well. As chance would have it we end up with the last two cups being the tiny ones that contain the pain. After many rounds of fruitless ponging an executive decision is taken, to transfer the contents of the smaller cups into a bigger one. Thus hopefully bringing this epic battle to a conclusion sooner rather than later. The girls win and celebrate in adequately exuberant fashion.

A little talking here n there is punctuated with a pork pie. These particular pies contain pickle thus offsetting the richness of the awesome porky filling. I lie I actualy consumed two pies! Mark makes his inevitable way towards Swapnal's laptop to fiddle with the playlist. This has lead to some rather epic playlist beef in the past. But this time he has Amanda with him for back up. They look so happy crouched over fiddling with the playlist that no one wants to risk unsettling this microcosm. For some reason or other Amanda says why. But not a why as you or I would utter it. It was said in a manner that only Mark does, she's taken on one of his key characteristics. This confirms our belief that being around Mark will eventually turn you into him.

David makes a remark about his IQ. This brings Eleanor in swinging for the fences as intelligence, like everything, is relative. I think we're on the same page but I twist and turn to keep the discourse going. We live in a literate society so if you can do that well then you are considered "intelligent". But back in the day when hunting was the way to stay alive the fastest and strongest were the most "intelligent". The scale changes based on the situation. But it boils down to problem solving. At least that's my simple spin on it :-D

Eleanor grows weary and demands another game. Arrogance is simple and random. David assumes his customary tossing duties. He's a champion doncha know! Some baseless accusations of cheating lead to me taking on the mantle of tosser. It leads to a lot of drinking. I remember I came with a secondary mission but my camera lacks the required battery power to fulfill it :-(

There is talk of going in to town. I'm still on the mend so I say my goodbyes and prep myself to depart. During the dying moments of this gathering Amanda falls backwards onto the couch! Outstanding :-D I drive home and crack all my joints, down a protein shake and get to bed. The next day Swap posts this lovely pic:

Face cake, hot nuts, hot vodka, desktop drummage and many a card

The night is documented here in photo form scroll through as you read!, access may be an issue if you are not within my friendship trigrams on facebook.

Twenty seven

It's quite the number! A perfect cube, the atomic number of an isotope of aluminium and my age. I'm writing mostly because I'm worried that the sciatic leg pain that signals the progression of a prolapsed disc may be back. I have some sore hammys. I don't know if that's because I went back to work and the seating arrangement is disagreeing with them or if I have a bulging disc or cartilage that's pressing on my sciatic nerve thus causing pain :-S

I don't want to do this all over again! But I've been so very good! Not heavy lifting, all my physio, sensible driving! What more can I do. If it goes it goes but it's such a hassle you would not believe! Ooh it might be because I decided to try some tricep dips on a frame, that is intended to aid one onto and off of the toilet.

The locked position I had to hold my legs in may account for the hamstring ache. I managed to scratch my leg on one of the screws as well :-S Ah well wait and see eh?

So how did I celebrate my birthday. I'll tell yee with some lovely home made cake, baked my my wonderful mother. Way too many biscuits and a dinner of pizza, chicken wings and fries! Now that's what I call dinner ! :D

Oh I was back at work and in the company of my irrepressible office. They were, more or less, as I'd left them. They did have a lovely new map on the wall my desk had been cleared of all the necessary post it notes I keep on it. A reminder of a time gone by in a windowless office. My posts had become a little introspective tending towards the more heavy aspects of my personality e.g. the retirement of my 10 year old running shoes and the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor who.

Ah facial hair! It was the last week of Movember when I returned and several members of the office had been furiously growing their facial hair. I had been tending my beard for 12 weeks when I strolled back into the office so I had them all beat hands down, had a head start and it's not like it was a race. But if it was...WINNING! I didn't get to see Director Drew's effort in person as he was off when I was there and I was off when he was there. All in all was rather impressed by the commitment :-D

I've held onto my tash, I quite like it.

The week ended with a party round Swapnal's. I was off the ale as my balance is iffy at best and I headed home at around 22:00. But before that the master of disaster, Mark Taylor, was in shining form. This started off when I offered him a lift to Tesco, standard supply run. He got uber excited and started describing how he doesn't feel safe whilst in Swapnal's car. I was dubious as young Swapnal is sensible in comparison to Mark. But this assumption was shattered when I witnessed him swerving around an old man in the carpark. What I forgot to factor in was that this is pretty much his first time behind the wheel since passing his test. I drove pretty much the same way for a few years after getting my licence.

This carried on when we got back to Swapnal's house on Eastbourne Street. Mark was nice enough to carry everything back to the house from the car, made him feel ever so manly. Bit of shuffling about and we settle down to a social game of poker. This is when I met Swapnal's new housemate...I've misplaced his name! I putting this down to being shattered. Anyways before we started playing Vicky gets home from work, won't be joining us as she's off to a dinner party! Now that is proper grown up shtuff! Gives me a hug and I catch the unmistakable scent of hugo boss. <Have just been informed that it was in fact Roberto Cavalli>

Poker begins and there is some initial testing of the water. I thought Mark would have learnt somethings since the last time we played. but no he hasn't the foggiest. Which makes him completely unreadable. Also means he crashes out first. Swapnal also surfaces with a pair of glasses, I didn't know he wore glasses. And that's because he doesn't need glassed but inspired by Tinie Tempah he's rocking the decorative specs. He rolls out and it's around this time Roger arrives. He's brought along some rather special beer!

In a box!

Had to take mine home as I am alcohol free for the time being...Not that I miss it but this looks a bit special so I kinda want to see what all the fuss is about! The game winds down till it's a head to head between two of us. So really social because there are just two guys involved :P Things degrade into blind all ins eventually resulting in my victory!

No money on the line so I won a pile of chips which were instantaneously tidied away.

The evening progresses to the inevitable drinking games. Something I suck at but owing to my ample frame I can take the hit. It's arrogance and Mark is not doing so well. Arrogance in a nutshell:

1. Pour as much of your drink into a glass in the middle as you want.
2. Someone else flips a coin and you guess the heads or tails.
3. If you guess right the glass passes on to the next person in the circle.
4. If you guess wrong you down whatevers in the glass.

So as you can see it's a game of chance but the gods of gaming are not on Marks side and he's worse for wear after a few rounds. Probs doesn't help that there are only three of them in the circle. Around this time Leona and Donna arrive. Along with jelly shots something I've got extensive experience with but I keep schtum. It's always fun to watch folk tussle with friction X-D

Time for cake

Delicious hot or cold, fyi.

But that's not all I also get given an expertly wrapped gift, Swapnal informs me Vicky is responsible for the wrapping as he is somewhat of a novice . I progress to reveal this awesomeness that is The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil!

Yep my actual thumb, yet again.

Beer pong! Mark is teamed with the ladies, naturally. They lose in epic style. Then there is some chat about your ideal woman. Now this is a topic I've given a lot of thought to and I didn't want commandeer the conversation. I have a tendency to make things wayyyyy too heavy with my over analytical/obsessive way of thinking. So after some more chat about a threeway, shop, Mark, Amandas, gelatin, acidity, closing, winman etiquette etc. I decide it's time for me to go. I am epically tired so I down a glass of coke so as to keep myself perky for the journey home.

It was then that I remembered I was wearing a scrum cap, from my days as a terrifying front row forward for Market Rasen and Louth RUFC! I'd brought along two other hats as well, both of which I'd intended to wear and completely forgotten about :-S.

After getting home I discover that it is SDRG's last bout with LBRG tomorrow so she was understandably saving her energy. Turns out Phil Jupitas was commentating and even had a bit of a post bout spoon with the squad! Mucho jealous on two accounts there i.e. they got to spoon with big Phil and he got to spoon with them! Ooh this leads me to a slightly obscure conversation, of sorts, I had with one of SDRG's friends.

The gist of a drawing posted echoed Neil Gaiman's advice in the speech, "make good art". She actually said "If life gets you down - draw." Problem is I can't draw :-S So what does an artistically challenged individual do when they feel down? Well I listen to cheesy upbeat themes and, hand on heart, I dance :-O Now I suck at dancing but it sure gets me out of whatever funk I'm in.


Some songs that get me up :-D.