I would drive 500 mile - Day 4

I'm still in Manchester, however today I have plans to see my baby brother! He messaged me yesterday evening.

Sofia's back at the wheel today and we clock 91 Miles, or there abouts. We went for breakfast at Gro Coffee, their menu is the nuts so please peruse it. I got some fruit and an omelette, delicious, probably a coffee.

There had been plans to see my family in Glasgow, but alas covid struck their house, they're all fine now btw

We have until midday or so to vacate our Travelodge room, we skedaddle early. The plan is to catch a ferry! I don't think I had been on one since I was, maybe never. I was about to mention a boat on the Thames, but I think that was just a regular boat! Anyway driving on we refuel at a Morrisons, of course. Probably grabbing some food, but my memory of getting to the ferry is foggy/non existent. We drive along the west coast a bit, stopping to snap a few picks. It takes us a lot less time to get to Gourock, Casual 40+ miles. We have to bung a u turn as we'd missed the turning.

West Coast, but there's a peninsula, so maybe not?

Upon arrival at the car park it's not clear what we should do, as we're not seasoned ferry folk. So we park where a taxi is waiting and I wander over to a gentleman in a high vis vest.

What would you do?

He tells us to pop into the first lane and queue, tickets are bought on your way onto the boat. Or on the boat, on the boat. So we diligently pull up and wait. The ferry arrives, we roll on when we're told to and turn the engine off. There's a safety announcement. Sofia is struggling to hear it, luckily we're within eyeshot of a sign which has the exact same information on. Probably by design? Before we know it the ferry journey is over and we roll off.

We pause briefly to strategise where to stop. I suggest the botanical gardens, possibly for lunch. Doesn't take us long to get there at all. We park up and pop out, find the bathrooms. Never turn down an opportunity to use the bathroom, as far as regrets go this is one you do not want to have. There are dogs here and there, fantastic. We pop in and get our tickets, they are in sticker form, so the staff know you've paid at a glance. Food is not inspiring so we opt to wait for lunch.

I forget why, but this tree spoke to Sofia

Carrying on the long tradition of taking pics of me with trees for my folks.

We wander around and Sofia takes a close up of some moss, which looks kind of like a coniferous forest. She sends it to her ma, I joke that she should tell her we're in a helicopter looking down. Which is exactly what she does. Now I'm remembering it as a call, but that may or may not have happened. Anyhow the reveal results in her ma exasperatedly saying something like "Of course you're not." It's nice a peaceful in and around the giant trees. Rhododendron etc. There are a group of school children, well school aged anyway, running about. We theorise they're on their long trip at the end of year six that we all do. But it's September, perhaps they just go on trips to outdoorsy things more here.

We take a seat next to a big long greenhouse. And tell tales of how we should buy the house that we can see just off to the side. We could work at the garden, grow our own food in the giant greenhouse etc. It's nice and calming. We wander on to the Japanese bit of the garden, bit more dramatic.

The helicopter forest

We leave just before 15:00 and head down the road a couple of miles to The Coylet Inn, it's on the banks of Loch Eck, which is really, really long. It's picturesque AF, we snap a few before parking up and heading in to see if we can still get some lunch. A couple dining al fresco, give us the real stink eye, I assume I'm judging them too hastily. But Sofia later confirms they were totes cruising for a bruising.

We duck in and look for someone in charge, the sign says to ask at the bar, no one at the bar, but to wait to be seated. So we wait. And a nice lady appears, and tells us food is still available and we're can sit in the window, ideal

We sit down, and get to menuing. I think I had a burger? I forget. But Sofia opted for the pie, as she was on the quest for a great beef pie. I think we had starters... I'm not doing well here am I. When the food arrives, it's great, and Sofia confirmed it's a really good pie! Mission accomplished! After lunch we wander to the bar and find our host, she owns the place. And asks where we've come from, we reply with Nottingham, and she tells us she's originally from down the road in Derby, which is where Sofia also hails from. She jokes that that's why the pie was so good "You can trust a Derby lass to rustle you up a good pie!" or something equally colloquial and charming. Coylet Inn lady, I think her name was Sarah? grew up near where Sofia when to school! After more small world chat, and how we must stay at the Inn whence we're next back this way, we head off.

There's a falls I think we can get to, so we're zigzagging our way there, alas it's a private road so we have to turn back, a bit. But we head for Carrick Castle, and get there just as a dog runs towards us! The dogs lady apologises, but we explain we're more than happy to be greeted, the dog decides against it...

Our shadows being narrowly outdone by the castle.

 

Back on the road we see if we can stop at the "Rest and Be Thankful", but we flub it a little, plus it's raining, there are road works, so we power on to Arrochar, not pronounced like Arrow-char, but like A-Rocker, the Coylet Inn's resident Derby girl had let us know. Parking up outside we have to duck into the bar to see if someone can check us in. The Lochside Guesthouse, it's nice, and cosy. The girl checking us in asks if we'll be down for breakfast, indeed we will, it'll be a Friday morning. The one day of the week I pay some kind of homage to my Hindu heritage, and try to be as strictly vegetarian as possible.

As we turn to leave, I knock a monitor over, onto the desk and not the ground. The member of staff attending to us asks if it's ok then leads on, phew disaster averted. The room is nice, the view is amazing. Sofia heads out to snap some photos. Our food choices are limited, so we go to Cu Mara, I go for chicken, plus some salads, I also grab a Shandy. Once we get it back to our home for the night, I realise my foolishness, I can't drink beer, and this is a shandy, but there's beer in it. Gout you irritating so and so you.

The foods good, but Sofia notices we've had fried chicken for dinner twice in a row. Oh dear indeed, the wheels have come off the diet train, it's day four. We call it a day and hit the sack.

N.b. The day I started writing "Day 4", was the day I saw my brother again for the first time in over two years. I'd last seen him when we'd gone to the cinema to see Avengers Endgame, in April 2019. That was after over a year of not seeing or hearing from him at all. Anyway that's why I was in Manchester. He messaged me and we hit the National Football museum, neither of us really follow football. But it was close and indoors. I'd tested negative for covid the day before, but Sofia has and had it at the time.

So I was masked up, waiting outside the National Football Museum, I noticed I was picking up every brown face as "Brother!?", no that's a woman, sikh man, child etc. So I tuned down my hyperfocus, so much so he walked right up to me.

We fell back into our rhythm of joking, making each other laugh, explaining facts etc. It was nice, and we confirmed we'd do it again, with vague February 2023 being the date that's pencilled in.

By the knights of Columbus...

It's actually my birthday!

The title has nothing to do with this post. And I've not picked a vid to head it up. Hmmm you know who can handle this problem? Future me! Google analytics! Lets me see interesting things like what countries people are in while they read my blogs. It at least tells me where their IP is. This week there were two folk from Argentina and Moscow reading this! Hello Argentinian and Russian reader!

It's unlikely they would read that greeting because I have 88% new readers this week! My readership isn't increasing I appear to be attracting around the same number of people each week with little overlap between their venn diagrams.

Look at the pie chart, just look at it! I am a fan of a good graph, or a bad graph. Bad graphs are much more amusing than good ones. I wonder if I could create a graph to display how much more amusing they are.

Quantifying a qualitative thing is something that makes me grimace like a monkey sucking a lemon. I've been reading How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. This is a question I've given little thought to. Mostly because I am a man, more or less. I have always thought that women get the short end of the stick though, i.e. it's easier being a man. The book's been amusing and thought provoking thus far, only on page 80 of 300 or so 25.6% of the way through.

I bring up the book because I had to dry it out today. My genius father has returned! He's been abroad for a few months spreading the word about the benefits of classical hata yoga, in the country of my birth. He never stops! Like an elder, asian, energizer bunny with shiny brown skin. I think it's something to do with collagen, no idea why though. He brought a bag back from his travels, rinsed it out and left it to dry precariously placed over my copy of How To Be a Woman. The book should look something like this. Now looks like this:

I must add that this is post dehydration. I've not said drying because if I had sensibly dried the book I think it wouldn't have become so very crispy and ruffled. Moral of the story is keep your books out of the bathroom and if you dry them be sure to not use a high powered fan heater. In an attempt to flatten it out a little I have piled ten other books on top of it. I'll keep you updated on the status of my crinkly copy of How To Be a Woman.

Thanks to my lazy writing schedule days have passed and the book has been suitably flattened! View the pleasing results of my ten book press below. So yesterday I went off to watch Mockingjay Pt 1 and it was ok! But it wouldn't be yours truly if I did not spin a yarn about my silent beef with the cinema's employees and my contortion in the carpark!

A little discoloured but most definitely usable.

Hadn't been to the cinema in a while, mostly because there was nothing good to see and partly because I've been exam hermitting. This is a process by which I become even more of a recluse. It's usually accompanied by the growth of an exceptionally bushy beard and this time was nay exception. I grew a most fearsome of black beards. On account of it be the vember of Mo's, get it? I have bared my blunted chin :-D

It's a work day and I'm heading into the city centre, as you can imagine parking spaces are in short supply. I know there'll be a fair few at the top of a multi-storey affair near the cinema. The problem is that there are enormous support pillars next to these spaces making alighting from one side or t'other a little tricky. I overcome this by clambering over to the passenger side, my level of flexibility has decreased severely since my back woes. I actually manage to cramp both hamstrings in the process, man it's awesome being this old :-/ After all that effort I realise I've parked like an absolute douche, barely in the space. My delicate honour will not allow me to leave this situation without at least trying to rectify it. So I re-enter my vehicle and twist myself back into the driver's side, turns out it's easier to manoeuvre facing the backrest, straddling the hand brake with your rear proudly pointed at the windscreen. Now you know! I also correct my parking faux pas and make my exit.

As I approach the cinema heads are turning and I am getting many wary looks. I put it down to my way of walking, with purpose. It's how I usually walk but it's being amplified by my poor gauge of how cold it was, ruddy freezing! Oh and I am rather burly and dark of skin. If a large, dark object were moving at considerable speed in your vicinity then I'd completely understand if you felt the need to stare :-P

Upon arriving at the cinema I inspect the ticket machines and decide they are out of order. I approach the popcorn and drinks counter, they've recently replaced the ticket counter with a coffee or ice cream counter. I was not paying attention as I was walking with great intensity towards the lad behind the counter. I enquire about my ticket, already purchased online and only require a pick up. He tells me it'd be easier if I use one of the machines. Mayhap I was too hasty to judge the machines broken. Upon close inspection they are indeed broken! My ire is beginning to flare.

Set eyebrows to attack...

I hurtle towards the counter but I'm beaten there by two middle aged women. My queueing condition kicks in and I wait, patiently stewing. One of the ladies does a double take. And the other out right stares at me. Amusing, maybe my attack eyebrows are attracting their attention. Here's when I lost it. Another employee makes a "test" call to the lad who is faffing about behind the counter. Usually I would have found such hijinks hilarious but my ire was already bubbling up and this blatant tomfoolery pushed me into full letter writing mode! Got my ticket, calmed the hell down and watched the film.

It was indeed ok. Now I don't find myself particularly overly attached to any characters here. Other than Peeta Melark, I love that guy. There was a little action and you could definitely tell the story was being stretched, lots of talking in bunkers. The ending was awesome but I'd pretty much agree with my Aussie brother from another mother, if you can help it wait till next year and watch it back to back with the last one. There were character's names etc being used in this film and I had no idea who they were talking about. And I have a pretty good memory for that kind of stuff. There is a message that is not so covertly conveyed about the use of propaganda in the film, that was the best bit for me :D Also the technical sorcery that the man in the wheelchair with glasses was pulling off.

It was on the drive home that I managed to fathom what all the staring was about, my stache! I was stuck in traffic and I'm pretty sure a lass in a car tapped her mate's shoulder to point out my facial hair. In 2008 I attempted something similar and the results were less than satisfactory, this time around I think I've cracked it.

Lego beard conquerers

Movember it's all about awareness! So spread the word!!!