Day 5 - April 23
Ummm, this was the day we were supposed to hit the thermal baths. It’s a Sunday… the locals and tourists will be out in force, as we saw at the central market. The plan was to awaken and head out of the door to make it to the Széchenyi thermal baths just as the doors were opening. Thus avoiding the incoming throng.
Can you spot the issue with this particular plan? Remember what we had done the previous evening? That’s right we’d imbibed a considerable quantity of various alcohols. Champagne, creme de cassis, red wine, gin, vermouth, more red wine, more gin, more vermouth, rum, irish cream liqueur, coffee liqueur, amaretto. You get the picture.
Can you spot the issue with this particular plan? Remember what we had done the previous evening? That’s right we’d imbibed a considerable quantity of various alcohols. Champagne, creme de cassis, red wine, gin, vermouth, more red wine, more gin, more vermouth, rum, irish cream liqueur, coffee liqueur, amaretto. You get the picture.
There’s a brief interlude of confusion and piecing together what happened, followed by a little more sleep and then a resolution to be out the door by 11:00.
So we awaken slowly and go about getting ready for the thermal baths. We need to take stuff to change into etc. There was probably fake coffee involved, I apologise for getting up to pee so often. Issi hadn’t noticed, and yup I’d just drawn attention to me getting up to pee a lot. Now you know all about me getting up to pee a lot. Also this paragraph contains the word pee in a concentration that I don’t think I have ever encountered before. Let’s move on.
The light of day is refreshing and unforgiving, we walk to Oktogon metro station. We navigated there, mostly, using a sense of direction! We buy tickets from a machine and descend, there are ticket guys. But they are decorative, the machines do all the hard work. We just missed one and await another.
It’s now I voice my concern as to whether we are on the right side of the platform. You know one side goes north the other goes south, etc. Turns out we were on the wrong side, but kudos to us for realising before we got on a train going the wrong way. Alas our tickets are already punched, we’ll have to purchase more.
The surly anarchist rises up from within my usually mild mannered compatriot, she declares “we can beat the man and machine combo!”. The machines do the heavy lifting and a simple ticket rotation will suffice to confuse their limited mechanical minds. Issi breezes through with ingrained effortless elegance. I stand there whilst the machine does nothing with my ticket, the guy looks at me I try again. Issi glances back. It’s all about to kick off… the machine punches a hole in my rotated ticket, phew.
We board the metro and ride to Széchenyi furdo, it’s uneventful. When things go to plan it’s hardly ever noteworthy, right? We get out and walk to the thermal baths, there’s a queue, a word I learnt to spell a few days ago. I believe if you’ve read the previous day’s escapades you’ll know how that came to pass.
The light of day is refreshing and unforgiving, we walk to Oktogon metro station. We navigated there, mostly, using a sense of direction! We buy tickets from a machine and descend, there are ticket guys. But they are decorative, the machines do all the hard work. We just missed one and await another.
It’s now I voice my concern as to whether we are on the right side of the platform. You know one side goes north the other goes south, etc. Turns out we were on the wrong side, but kudos to us for realising before we got on a train going the wrong way. Alas our tickets are already punched, we’ll have to purchase more.
The surly anarchist rises up from within my usually mild mannered compatriot, she declares “we can beat the man and machine combo!”. The machines do the heavy lifting and a simple ticket rotation will suffice to confuse their limited mechanical minds. Issi breezes through with ingrained effortless elegance. I stand there whilst the machine does nothing with my ticket, the guy looks at me I try again. Issi glances back. It’s all about to kick off… the machine punches a hole in my rotated ticket, phew.
We board the metro and ride to Széchenyi furdo, it’s uneventful. When things go to plan it’s hardly ever noteworthy, right? We get out and walk to the thermal baths, there’s a queue, a word I learnt to spell a few days ago. I believe if you’ve read the previous day’s escapades you’ll know how that came to pass.
We pay, Issi used her prepaid travel card, for the first time. The woman behind the glass stares at it unconvinced it’s for real. But all goes to plan and we are allowed entry to thermal baths. We walk around unsure about if there is a male and female changing room… I blame the ticket pricing structure. If all goes to plan I’ve inserted a picture below:
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| All prices in HUF |
We sprung for the daily tickets with locker use, expecting there to be large communal changing rooms. Like in a gym, at least that’s what I was expecting, and by the level of our shared confusion so was Issi. Turns out there are cubicles to change in, the cabins are slightly bigger and you can just leave your gear there. Confusing, right? We’re issued rubber wrist straps, our day passes.
Anyhow, we get changed and I briefly wonder where Issi is, then I see her, looking intense. I confess that I bought these swimming shorts several years ago and they are far too big, hence why I’m holding them aloft with one hand, she laughs. We manage to flag down a locker attendant and precariously balance our bags and my coats on top of each other. The locker lady issues us with a number on a ribbon, I store it in this nifty little pocket in my shorts that’s specifically for storing such things.
Issi has flip flops, I’m barefoot. With towels in hand we stride forth into the cold light of day once more, and by jingo it was cold. Motivation to store our towels and get into the warm water asap. We do so taking strong mental note of where our towels are in relation to everything else, lest we leave the pool and are unable to find them. It’s busy, not brimming, but full enough that every move has to be considered in case you unintentionally nudge a stranger.
It is lovely though, warm water, surrounded by people who are in varying states of relaxation. There are some upward jets and a fountain, we tentatively approach. The fountain is blasting cold water, no thanks. Once people locate a jet they appear to be unwilling to budge, we lose patience and find a step to sit on. We grow a little restless and move on.
Upon stepping out of the warmth of the water the coldness of the air is immediately overwhelming, for me at least. Issi appears to be her usual unflappable self, I’m a little jealous tbh. We locate our towels, thanks to those strong mental notes, and I wrap up. I’ve got a microfibre travel towel, not suited to shield me from the cold.
I think we wandered indoors, mostly to get away from the cold. There was mention of a beer spa… at some point we tried to track it down, concluded it was either an elaborate misdirect or a premium spa treatment. We abandoned our quest for the beer spa.
Anyhow, we get changed and I briefly wonder where Issi is, then I see her, looking intense. I confess that I bought these swimming shorts several years ago and they are far too big, hence why I’m holding them aloft with one hand, she laughs. We manage to flag down a locker attendant and precariously balance our bags and my coats on top of each other. The locker lady issues us with a number on a ribbon, I store it in this nifty little pocket in my shorts that’s specifically for storing such things.
Issi has flip flops, I’m barefoot. With towels in hand we stride forth into the cold light of day once more, and by jingo it was cold. Motivation to store our towels and get into the warm water asap. We do so taking strong mental note of where our towels are in relation to everything else, lest we leave the pool and are unable to find them. It’s busy, not brimming, but full enough that every move has to be considered in case you unintentionally nudge a stranger.
It is lovely though, warm water, surrounded by people who are in varying states of relaxation. There are some upward jets and a fountain, we tentatively approach. The fountain is blasting cold water, no thanks. Once people locate a jet they appear to be unwilling to budge, we lose patience and find a step to sit on. We grow a little restless and move on.
Upon stepping out of the warmth of the water the coldness of the air is immediately overwhelming, for me at least. Issi appears to be her usual unflappable self, I’m a little jealous tbh. We locate our towels, thanks to those strong mental notes, and I wrap up. I’ve got a microfibre travel towel, not suited to shield me from the cold.
I think we wandered indoors, mostly to get away from the cold. There was mention of a beer spa… at some point we tried to track it down, concluded it was either an elaborate misdirect or a premium spa treatment. We abandoned our quest for the beer spa.
We step into a pool that’s emptyish, it’s slightly cooler. We people watch, reel of a few accents, try and spot locals, see the odd stag party. I think I busted out my fact about brown folks not floating. Something Issi is not convinced about, man’s just too dense. It’s not like I’m fat free, currently rocking 16% bodyfat, I’ll stop myself here before I diverge into a detailed analysis of the composition of my body, I realise no one wants to know :-(
She floats, I demonstrate I can do the same but only by leveraging against the wall with considerable effort. She gives me a look that says “it’s not that hard…”, I’m sure it’s alright if you’re white… ruddy white privilege, am I right!?
Moving on, there are pools, pools, and more pools. Varying things in them, temperatures, etc. The sauna, one of my favourite past times, calls to us. But they are filled with humans, no seating. Issi manages to fit in a space my… considerable frame could not. I stand, she laughs, it dawns on me I am stood at the door of the sauna with my arms folded across my chest. Question is do you know what I resembled at that point, why my fellow traveller was laughing at me?
We’re at the familiar stage where I’m asking you to guess, make an educated, calculated, even whimsical guess. Have you got one, I hope so…
Man standing at a door, he’s stocky, dark, arms crossed across his chest, I look like a bouncer, a sauna bouncer! I confirm that’s why she’s laughing, it is. A space opens up I sit down, it’s not hot enough for me to start sweating. My sub tropical heritage has it’s advantages, after brief Googs it turns out I have tropical heritage, well how about that. Issi bails, I follow. There’s a shower that blasts warm then cold water, it was humorous to observe before we got in the Sauna but once in, it’s anything but funny. Issi wisely abstains from the water based self flagellation.
She floats, I demonstrate I can do the same but only by leveraging against the wall with considerable effort. She gives me a look that says “it’s not that hard…”, I’m sure it’s alright if you’re white… ruddy white privilege, am I right!?
Moving on, there are pools, pools, and more pools. Varying things in them, temperatures, etc. The sauna, one of my favourite past times, calls to us. But they are filled with humans, no seating. Issi manages to fit in a space my… considerable frame could not. I stand, she laughs, it dawns on me I am stood at the door of the sauna with my arms folded across my chest. Question is do you know what I resembled at that point, why my fellow traveller was laughing at me?
We’re at the familiar stage where I’m asking you to guess, make an educated, calculated, even whimsical guess. Have you got one, I hope so…
Man standing at a door, he’s stocky, dark, arms crossed across his chest, I look like a bouncer, a sauna bouncer! I confirm that’s why she’s laughing, it is. A space opens up I sit down, it’s not hot enough for me to start sweating. My sub tropical heritage has it’s advantages, after brief Googs it turns out I have tropical heritage, well how about that. Issi bails, I follow. There’s a shower that blasts warm then cold water, it was humorous to observe before we got in the Sauna but once in, it’s anything but funny. Issi wisely abstains from the water based self flagellation.
I think we wander around some more, it would appear we may’ve exhausted what the baths have to offer, we wander. We did step into another bath inside, we talk floating and entrance phrases into an accent. For Northern Irish mine’s “mirror”. We also discuss the impossibly soft and comfortable duvets at home aka 42 Zichy Jeno Utca. I just got a little choked up at the mere mention of the place. I suspect that’s not so much to do with the trip as it is to do with what’s transpired in my life following it.
But that’s not why we’re here so back to the thermal baths!
Those unexpectedly comfortable duvets… somehow we got onto me making one. Issi concludes it would be constructed of marshmallow and stitched together with strawberry laces. You know what, I think I could construct such a quilt, one day. I ask if it’s for eating, she tells me “of course not, it’s a duvet!” I’m reminded of a raccoon washing his candyfloss only for it to dissolve, what I imagine would happen if a marshmallow duvet were to come into contact with a thermal bath.
We wander outside to see if the other end of the pool has anything exciting to offer. After a little sit down Issi spots the pool in the middle. See aerial view with red arrow below.
Those unexpectedly comfortable duvets… somehow we got onto me making one. Issi concludes it would be constructed of marshmallow and stitched together with strawberry laces. You know what, I think I could construct such a quilt, one day. I ask if it’s for eating, she tells me “of course not, it’s a duvet!” I’m reminded of a raccoon washing his candyfloss only for it to dissolve, what I imagine would happen if a marshmallow duvet were to come into contact with a thermal bath.
We wander outside to see if the other end of the pool has anything exciting to offer. After a little sit down Issi spots the pool in the middle. See aerial view with red arrow below.
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| Red arrow game, on point |
Issi enters with no apparent ill effect, I edge in and immediately lose my balance, swallow some water, before gasping and reorienting myself, she laughs. I may look imposing but at some point my bumbling nature will come to fore and you’ll lose any and all apprehension in that moment. We whirl around propelled by… intrigue. It’s not immediately apparent what’s causing the pool to whirl, then it hits us, jets. I bump into a dude, apologise profusely, he didn’t even notice.
Turns out you go faster if you face backwards, we’re dubious, it’s true! However everyone isn’t facing backwards, a crash is imminent, after a while we exit. Hang, chat, I ask if we can go back in. I realise that I don’t have to ask, I’m an adult after all, Issi states she’s become my mother in a way… let’s move on.
Back into the whirling centre. More people are getting involved, regardless of age their having a grand old time. Makes me smile, saw a bunch of older ladies giggling as they entered the spinning water. It’s getting crowded, I realise I can simply stand up to put the brakes on, the water’s about chest high. My exit was ill timed, instead of using the momentum of the swirling water to propel me out, I go the opposite way and exhaust myself.
There’s a freezing pool I enter, immerse myself to my neck, walk around and stride out. We check out if the on site restaurant is worthwhile, nah. Time to go, not before snapping a pic. There was a brief discussion before we got there about the legality of taking a photo in a public pool. I always air on the side of caution, but after witnessing many a young lady happily snapping away whilst keeping their phones out of the water, it would appear my caution was unwarranted.
We amble back indoors to the changing area, I flag down the lady who can open cabins, I show her the number ribbon thing that she gave me before. I’d assumed she’d take it from me, she didn’t. Issi grabs her phone and heads outside, I hold the fort looking suitably… something. I don’t think I’ve ever loitered, I’m sure I have but I felt very conspicuous standing in a locker room not doing anything. Issi returns we go get changed.
I haven’t figured out the mechanism the doors use, so I prop the door closed with my shoes. Once almost done a dude walks in on me, said dude apologises and explains the mechanism, awesome. I now understand it, I suspect I may never encounter it again. I gather up my things, assume Issi’ll take longer than me, and make use of the hair drying hoses. I also apply my moisturiser, it goes on weirdly, it would appear there is something already on the surface of my skin. Minerals from the thermal bath no doubt. I sit around, check my phone, sit around some more, grab a free plastic bag for my wet microfibre towel and shorts.
I suspect Issi may’ve beaten me out of the baths so I sheepishly head outdoors. There she is looking pensive, with dramatic hair, I am well jel. She’s messaged and called me, turns out the changing rooms are a bit of a mobile deadzone. We want pastry, onwards. I’d unintentionally stolen the number on a ribbon, I hand it to Issi. She says “memory box?” I reply “Sure…”
We walk, my back feels weird, I may’ve overextended myself in the baths. We find somewhere that looks likely. After a brief Googs I think I’ve found it, Nyreg. Cafe looking joint with some pastries that appear tasty. I go for some sort of dark chocolate thing with an espresso, they say they’ll bring our stuff out to us. We wander out, there’s ample seating but it’s shaded by the trees, we were looking to sit in a sun. Move a table slightly and problem solved, right? Wrong. A middle aged couple spot our failed sun seeking table manoeuvre and offer us their table in the sun. We thank them and sit.
The pastries and coffee arrives, Issi points out the resident cafe dog. I am off my face on excitement. No idea what we talked about. The pastry is good, the espresso reactivates my personality. We walk onwards, not before approaching the resident cafe dog and vigourously patting him on the head.
At some point Issi had asked me if I assumed all dogs were boys. After a brief reflection I tell her I did, perhaps because most dogs look boyish? She shoots back with “Millie is girly!” That she is, earnestly intense that girl.
Back to the day in hand, we stride back to the lake we’d mistaken for the mighty Danube. I capture a panoramic image. I intend to put it here:
The pastries and coffee arrives, Issi points out the resident cafe dog. I am off my face on excitement. No idea what we talked about. The pastry is good, the espresso reactivates my personality. We walk onwards, not before approaching the resident cafe dog and vigourously patting him on the head.
At some point Issi had asked me if I assumed all dogs were boys. After a brief reflection I tell her I did, perhaps because most dogs look boyish? She shoots back with “Millie is girly!” That she is, earnestly intense that girl.
Back to the day in hand, we stride back to the lake we’d mistaken for the mighty Danube. I capture a panoramic image. I intend to put it here:
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| FYI definitely not the Danube |
We laugh and walk back, the mood is down. Last day in Budapest so it’ll be back to Blighty and reality soon enough. We walk past Terror Haza, once again on Andrassy, the Champs-Élysées of Budapest. We see a group of men, likely on a stag, riding a beer bike, it’s like a tandem but with more folks facing each other cycling and drinking. An interesting concept but sounds too much like hard work. My back still feels weird.
We get back home and I bust out some back stretches to loosen whatever’s wrong with me. I lay on the hard floor, I announce that to the uninitiated it would appear I am sulking as it’s our last day, she laughs. I text a work colleague about what we’ve been doing. I think I did some packing, so it wouldn’t be a mad dash last minute, our flight is early tomorrow morning.
After some time we gather our vigour and head back out. Issi needs a souvenir for sister Larissa, who is considerably taller than she is, fact. We walk down town and see meatology, the other big photo opportunity sign, the place where we pointlessly paid for a taxi. Well it wasn’t pointless, we were lost with no phones to fall back on. There are gift shops, tacky, touristy gift shops.
Ducking in and out of a few, same old, same old. The souvenirs are too useful/good/well made. The aim of the game is to come up with something that’s tacky as can be. There are Babushka dolls that are various world leaders, we get briefly excited. Before an employee tells us that they kindly request folks don’t open the dolls. But how would one know of the hilarity inside without opening them!? We rage quit the shop and move on.
We get back home and I bust out some back stretches to loosen whatever’s wrong with me. I lay on the hard floor, I announce that to the uninitiated it would appear I am sulking as it’s our last day, she laughs. I text a work colleague about what we’ve been doing. I think I did some packing, so it wouldn’t be a mad dash last minute, our flight is early tomorrow morning.
After some time we gather our vigour and head back out. Issi needs a souvenir for sister Larissa, who is considerably taller than she is, fact. We walk down town and see meatology, the other big photo opportunity sign, the place where we pointlessly paid for a taxi. Well it wasn’t pointless, we were lost with no phones to fall back on. There are gift shops, tacky, touristy gift shops.
Ducking in and out of a few, same old, same old. The souvenirs are too useful/good/well made. The aim of the game is to come up with something that’s tacky as can be. There are Babushka dolls that are various world leaders, we get briefly excited. Before an employee tells us that they kindly request folks don’t open the dolls. But how would one know of the hilarity inside without opening them!? We rage quit the shop and move on.
There’s a high concentration of street food vendors ahead, we wander around and grab a beer. I was hoping it would be serve in the swing top bottles on display, alas as we get closer I spot a tap. Issi had seen it earlier but didn’t have the heart to shatter my swing top beer dreams. The beer may’ve been a mistake, it’s cold and the sun is obscured by the tall buildings. We spot some asian tourists having a picnic in a small patch of sun that has made it’s way between the buildings. We go and bask in it’s glow, the band is warming up. No idea what we talked about, possibly food, probably food.
Circling back in we check out the food on offer, I’m a little hungry, but I’ve gone with her gut so far. Partly because she usually picks better food than me, and partly because I am forever hungry, so I tend to overeat all too often. Burgers, meat, etc. Langos is what she springs for with garlic and cheese, I follow suit. We sit, eat, and chat, concluding that whilst the langos burgers of day 2 from Karavan were good these are likely more authentically Hungarian, if a little heavy on the garlic. I finish and observe some children being children. She offers me the rest of hers, as it’s too much. I decline as I’m strangely full, dun, dun DUN!
Circling back in we check out the food on offer, I’m a little hungry, but I’ve gone with her gut so far. Partly because she usually picks better food than me, and partly because I am forever hungry, so I tend to overeat all too often. Burgers, meat, etc. Langos is what she springs for with garlic and cheese, I follow suit. We sit, eat, and chat, concluding that whilst the langos burgers of day 2 from Karavan were good these are likely more authentically Hungarian, if a little heavy on the garlic. I finish and observe some children being children. She offers me the rest of hers, as it’s too much. I decline as I’m strangely full, dun, dun DUN!
Time to resume our souvenir search for sister Larissa. We stride into a biggish shop, there’s loads on offer. Your usual tat, tacky but still functional. Candles, gigantic bells. Issi shows me a steel bangle with the public transport network of the city stamped on it, alas it’s the last day and this souvenir steel bangle is overpriced. Lots of generic things that just have “Hungary” or “Budapest” on them. I suggest a bunch of stuff, none of it is quite right. Then I see it.
It’s a small, badly hand painted magnet. I think there was a small fabric pepper attached to it. I’ve waited too long to write this and the detail of the trip is slowly but surely fading. Issi confirms that this could win the tacky souvenir war forever, I feel like I’ve finally added some value to this holiday. Souvenir purchased we’re back outside.
There’s a girl selling posters, postcards, art. It’s he own stylized take on parts of the city map. I want to buy them all but I know that I have nowhere to put any of them. Issi wants a postcard for her fridge. Issi rifles through a few, settling on one, I think it was red. The Danube… that’s not the Danube. Care to hazard a guess as to what she’d mistaken for the mighty Danube? It was of course the lake that was near the thermal baths. She takes it as a sign and buys the postcard.
We wander back, sort of in the direction of home. Stopping at a cafe for a hot drink. Hot chocolate for the lady and I think I went with a chai tea. I take a picture of the candle on the table. The waiter asks if we’d like to order a few times, Issi politely tells him we’re only here for a drink, and the ambience. We pay up and split.
The timeline gets a little muddled here, I’m not sure, mostly because there is little to no photographic evidence. We weren’t really sightseeing, thermal bathing and souvenir hunting. We swing by Tesco to pick up something caffeinated. We discuss the difference between coke zero and diet coke, caffeine content Issi informs, Googs confirms it. The mood is sombre, holiday blues are imminent. But we’re still here, so not yet.
We walk home, past the small homeless lady that we’d passed on most days. I give her all my change. Issi reminds me we’ll need change to buy bus tickets… We get home and chill, pack, chat, confirm key handover procedures. Tidy a little. Issi says she’s going to try and get to sleep, our flight was at 0635. The plan was to get up around 03:00, leave around 03:30, bus to the airport around 05:00. I put my headphones and drift off to sleep. It’s warm, I’m fully dressed.
The Other Days...😖
Day 1: Backstory, Burgers, Airport, Arrival, Bus, Metro, Unicum
Day 2: Builders,Terror Haza, Andrassy, Hosok Tere, Danube, Ruin Bars, Karavan
Day 3: Signature Stance, Buda Castle, Chimney Cake, Labyrinth, Wine Cruise
Day 4: Central Market, Columbo, Symphony, Araz Etterem, Giero, Martini
Day 5: Thermal Baths, Souvenir, Langos, Packing
Day 6: Bus, Plane, Pizza, EMA, Embarrassment, Yes
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