Now?...what?

So html is not my friend, I was having some formatting issues with the video above. FYI it's one of the best things I've seen this week  I have however seen a lot of things this week and some of them have been equally or more awesome. But if I were to regurgitate my week in all it's glorious/tedious detail the few of you who do bother to read these would run for the hills, one of my faves by the way.

CIMA! Yep I was sitting an exam for the third or fourth time! Disgraceful I know, with my freak beast memory I should be able to slay all exams like the pitifully pointless exercises they are. But I am afflicted by a malaise that many of you are likely familiar with. A malaise that sets in once I realise that I can actually do something, complacency/laziness. If I know I can do something I tend to stop trying and that leads to stagnation. The worst kind of nation!

This time I sunk a lot of my own cash into paying for tutoring and struck up an unlikely friendship with a northerner. I say it's unlikely because I appear gruff and older than the earth itself whilst aforementioned northerner was all shiny and new. You know the sort of person right? Smiles, sunshine and self deprecation. The tutoring helped me realise that I was missing the basics and pointing out the high level stuff thereby foregoing all the marks available for the basics. Fundamentals, the best kind of mentals.

So my prep was pretty good, probably because of my current level of employment. I did a lot of exam papers, a lot more than I'd done before. I'd done no papers in their totally before, so based on papers my prep was infinitely better! But I did go through a little bit of a pre exam panic. Those of you who know me aren't likely to have seen me panic, I don't panic. I do panic but I do it in a way that a glacier would panic. Glacial panic, picture that for a moment. I got to the exam venue and was rather chilly. So I remembered the words of Bear Grylls - push ups. I did a few and warmed up suitably before reading through my notes haphazardly trying to memorise all the bits that aren't often examined. Mostly useless but worrying, much like a rocking chair, gives you something to do and gets you nowhere.

I've had this pic for years no idea where it's from despite my recent mastery of reverse picture searching! So if anyone does find out comment below, let me know! The shiny northerner arrives as I sit quietly brooding over my notes. After a little awkward waving she gains my attention and we launch into the inevitable exchange of pleasantries. Something I am terrible at as I tend to ask the same questions as whomever I'm greeting at the exact same time. Leading to awkward silences punctuated with the simultaneous answering of the synchronised questions.

So once that's done I inquire about how the other two exams have gone. Swimmingly I think was the response, it's difficult to gauge peoples exam reactions as some are overwhelmed, others down playing their success and others clueless. I am a sure member of camp clueless. And despite the common acceptance that "ignorance is bliss" it really isn't. Probably because I'm not ignorant that I'm ignorant, urgh!

All that noise aside the time draws near and I take a combination of painkillers and stimulants just before the exam. I have some back pain, stemming from my epic injury last year. The last time I sat the exam I somewhat scuttled my own chances by ingesting a can of Monster and quite a bit of water. The rules stipulate you can't leave for the first eighty five minutes! All my effort was being put towards controlling the building pressure in my bladder, read all about it here.

It was a normal enough paper and I was defo pushed for time, poor time management? Perhaps but I think it's a sign that I was actually answering most of the questions.

This is a vid of Robson and Jerome singing Unchained Melody back in  1995 :-/ 19 years ago. When did I get so old! Let's move on...So the taller fellow is Jerome. The shorter one with the brown hair, Robson Green, popped back onto our screens as the anchor of Extreme fishing back in 2008. Janet Street Porter suggested that such programming should be flung into Room 101.

In case you can't see the youtube vid :-D

Then at some point during the day I was thinking about my cheekbones, not pronounced. If I were to get uber skinny I wondered what my face would look like. I ran through a number of famous faces and became entangled in the Game of Thrones character roster. I often become entangled in such rosters. Eventually deciding that I'd most likely look like Bronn. You know the wiley, sell sword who's mates with Tyrion. It's at this point that my mind makes the jump and comes to the realisation that the dishy blonde fellow in the the pic and vid above and the disreputable son of a gun Bronn are in fact the same man. IMDB link in case you doubt the veracity of my claim!

19 years...

Ooh I've just remembered that the exam was being held in the banqueting hall/ballroom of a hotel. The rear/side entrance was being used for it and the walls of the lobby were a slew with mirrors. It is at this point I realise that I have shrunk and no longer fill out my big orange t shirt :-( Also I notice that my shoelaces match my t shirt! Not the sort to match laces to anything I am feeling rather fancy and bust a move. This has a little to do with the mirror lined lobby, I am always looking for an excuse to dance :-D. There is an exam in progress and a rather serious blonde girl bursts forth from the hall on her way to the bathroom. I cease dancing non nonchalantly i.e. abruptly, she smiles and goes on her way.

To explain the ill fitting t shirt. I did mention a while ago, 07/10/2014, that I'd lost about a stone because of my diet. That's now progressed to just over 13 kg, 2 stone or 28 pounds-ish. As you can imagine with that much meat off my bones my clothes look baggy. The most annoying thing is that my belt is no longer tight enough to hold up my trousers! Oh and according the the BMI I'm no longer obese! I'm just overweight!

Got to love a colourful graphic illustration! Nicked from Onepoll.com

BMI can be calculated using your weight in KG divided by your height in metres squared. For me right now the calculation would look like: 93.7/(1.775^2) = 29.7. Or you can use a graph or you can use this thingy here.

As with all statistics it's not to be take too seriously.  If you take a look at someone who carries a little extra muscle their BMI may be in the overweight bracket. I think waist measurement comes into it as well with the updated BMI. Anyways if you want to know more you are luckily accessing this verbose barrage via a device that has access to most if not all of human knowledge ever!

Almost forgot the excellence that was on the Graham Norton show. The first part featured Aniston, Bateman and Olly Murs. It was relatively entertaining then Dench and Hoffman arrived in a flurry of charisma and gravitas. I usually skip past the musical performances on the GN show, I don't like how "GN show" reads/looks I shall never use it again! Olly's performance on the Graham Norton show was nothing short of awesome. If you've got access to Iplayer I'd encourage you to watch it. Series 16 Episode 8 skip to 38 minutes and 52 seconds to see what all my gush is about.