Impact...

I did start writing this ting quite a while ago but got sidetracked...something has happened that makes me think maybe it's time to see this through. 

Hope yall don't suffer the length of this too much, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID ;-D

There have been times when my perception has flipped, instantly, on a certain subject.

Has anyone else had this happen?

Strange thing is that we are, usually, formed into who we are over years. Opinions, behaviours etc. A process that is so slow that we don't really notice it happening. But if something makes sense and stands in direct contradiction with how you saw the world before, then would you accept it?

Well I would and do but not before playing my favourite thing to do in the world ever, devil's advocate :-D.
Old habits die hard n as yall know I love to argue the toss. I initially thought the whole world was like this but alas, after some experimentation, I came to find that this is not the case. Far from it! Other than those in my immediate family there is only one other I have come across who likes to chew over everything! You know who you are, never change! Wonder if you read these, I'd like to think you do but I know you are too busy living :-D

E.G. 1
So I guess I better give you a few examples of when this has happened to me right? This first one is a loss of innocence that we all go through at some point in time. But because of my uber memory I know exactly when it happened to me. This is the idea that death really is the end. Now when we are young, most of us, are told comforting tales of heaven/afterlife etc. I mean no disrespect to anyone who is religious. I don't know what lies beyond and this is about the point in time when I realised that the afterlife may not be a certainty.

There was a lovely gent who used to coach my dad in various writing techs for his exams. I too have never been one for writing stuff at school. I sucked at history n english, I didn't know what was being asked of me so I didn't know how to structure my answers. My dad is the same way + we tend to be too concise. Hehe yep I do tend to be concise when I'm being assessed. Anyway after a while the guy became a family friend and we used to go hang at their house from time to time. I also had a bit of a crush on his daughter Megan, I was 6/7 at the time. They lived relatively close to where we lived in High Wycombe. After we moved to Grimsby we once went to stay the weekend.

We got there late, no idea of the time but it was dark. And that's when it hits me. I don't know why it occurred to me but the image was my body in a grave. Now this was a shattering of something that had been enormously comforting. The end of this conciousness, darkness etc. Scared the bejesus out of me! So much so that I didn't sleep that day. It's kept me up on occasion since as well. I've come to terms with it and see it as more of a motivation than something to fear.

It's gonna happen so why spend all your days fearing it? Surely everything should be sweeter if you know that it's not gonna be that way forever? If I don't stop here we'll end up going down a road about moments and uniqueness :-O

E.G. 2
Heavy stuff right? Let's lighten things up with a bit about our nations overly verbose, dandy, lady killer that is of course Mr. Russell Brand. Now he's a bit like marmite, savvy? I personally think he's a genius after seeing his stand up and how he regularly runs rings around politicians and broadcasters. Flawed for sure. There was a time when I thought he was a waste of space. Back in the days when I was a fresh faced student of the University of Nottingham. Some where down the line we were discussing Mr. Brand and how he was indeed very funny but that did not redeem his other more annoying traits. I presented the well known fact that he was an addict.

Perhaps it was my upbringing or just what society thinks as a whole but for many years I always thought that if someone was addicted to something then they are bad. I presented this to Richard, a devout Christian and all round awesome bloke. His response to my point was

"Just because he's an addict that doesn't make him a bad person"

Now this is mad so much sense it knocked the momentum out of my argument machine. I stopped in my tracks and had to have a good long think about WTF was going on. It resulted in a restructure of my thinking around addiction and addicts. Where the blame/responsibility lies etc. So that's the end of my second example!

E.G. 3
So here's one of my more extreme views that may end up in many of you turning your backs on me.

 

Hopefully this example of how extreme a move turning your back on someone is, will prevent any premature back turning that may occur ;-).

So here we go! I thought that modern medicine had gone too far. We were extending life expectancy as well as keeping people alive who would have died without medical intervention. My thoughts on this stemmed from the belief that the world is overpopulated and we are heading for a crisis the likes of which humanity has never seen. Food, water, land etc. Without concious action from us all then future generations are in for what I've come to call a painful correction. I hope it doesn't come to this as it will truly be terrible.

So the idea of being against medical procedures that extend life meant that I was against organ donation. A way of extending a life that would have otherwise ended. This view is an oldie from my days as a bit of a hardass douche who thought that subtlety was not the answer. Things had to be severe. I think this is what they call a "young man's problem." Everything has to happen quickly etc. Still impatient but slowly learning that the world moves at a pace akin to a zombie snail that has been hit with a hefty dose of slow down serum.

So this discussion popped up at work one day. And I was witness to an emotional exchange from a co-worker, SDRG, afterwards I saw the flaw in my argument. It was the level of sincerity and rawness of emotion that opened my mind to the possibility that I might be wrong. The flaw is where to draw the line and who makes the call. For example are antibiotics ok but a heart surgery not ok? And who the hell is qualified to make that call?

I arrived at one of my either it's all ok or none of it is ok. And I am not qualified to make that decision. Based on that exchange and the subsequent reasoning I am now an organ donor. I've got one of those fancy cards and everything!

Strangely enough longevity kinda runs in the family. So by the time I'm done with my organs they'll likely be no use to anyone anyways. Maybe some wannabe doctors will be let loose on my corpse. I've put my body through so much that I reckon it'd make quite the interesting study tool. Lots of healed up bits in pieces for them to puzzle over! For example an orthopaedic surgeon was giving my lower back a once over and almost recoiled when he started palpating my muscles. Turns out there are enormous knots in the muscles of my lower back the likes of which he's never seen!

E.G. 4
This is a bit of an odd one that gave me a peek into the nature of reality! And it happened whilst listening to Eminem - Lose Yourself, there it is if you want to have a listen.


It's the bit at the beginning:

"If you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment. Would you capture it or let it slip?"

Now I was 15 when this happened, on a school bus heading home. I'd heard this song many, many times before and then I actually listened to the opening. And it was like BOOM! I was still a teen so tried to seize the one dream I had at the time. That was to play rugby :-D. Dunno if the guys noticed but I got super motivated and built some rather mean speed for a guy my size as well. At the time I was about 100kg, well I'm currently around that weight but I have been immobilised for a couple of weeks so...

My luck being what it is I got into the best form of my life! And just before I could unleash this lean, mean rugby machine upon our rivals my hamstring snapped. As I already mentioned I'm a large lad and it'd be a bit of a feat to carry me off the pitch. Well it'd have been a doddle if the team could access the medical room, within which there was a stretcher for such occasions as this! But we couldn't find the key :-/ So the coaches team up and with their combined might they manage to get me halfway back to the clubhouse before having to call for reinforcements! Funny thing was they carried me off the pitches past my dad who was waiting to take me home in the car. He glanced my way but didn't recognise me in the dark!

This thought of being able to capture what you want in the moment has followed me around forever since! Moment to moment we are presented with choices/opportunities. Our ability and willingness to seize them dictates if we can get what we "want" At least that's how I see it :-D

There are quite a few more that I can think of but if I were to scribe them all down then I'd turn this post into something resembling a tediously long book. If you have any moments that have done something similar for you please share. I'd love to hear all about them!