FMCG?

Today was eventful, that is to say there was a big event that kinda filled the day!

I awoke at 04:00, no big deal I hear you cry! As I am known for my early starts are right in line with my character. But here's the peculiar part, I didn't do my kriya yoga in the morning! Not to worry I did both practices in the afternoon as I got home early from work, on account of my early start!

05:00 I'm out the door hurtling towards a dairy farm. This'll be the second dairy I've been to, starting to feel like dairy is slowly working it's way into the very fibre of my being... The drive is uneventful, except for my superb singing along to the radio. My voice has regained it's underlying rumble, that's the only time my singing voice sounds any good.

Anyway I arrive at the farm and there are cows! For those of you who are thinking "it's a dairy of course there are cows!" that's just not true. Dairies process milk, they don't, necessarily, milk or keep cows. I have a few cynical ideas about why there were a few cows but lets see if anyone can figure them out :-P

I drive hither and dither seeking out wherever the milk is being kept. Finally I find a light that's on and approach cautiously as I am a large, bearded, asian man in the middle of the countryside approaching a farmer who currently has his back turned. This sounds, to me at least, like a perfect recipe for getting shot/punched in the face. My fears are unfounded and he beams and asks me if I'm the guy from Lincoln? I'm not from Lincoln but I'm not about to go into the details of where I'm from at 05:45 in the morning.

He wheels out a big trolley filled with 1 litre semi skimmed milk. Give Swapnal a quick call to check volume required and head out! In Lincoln round 06:45, meet up with Swappie and hit the streets. Lincoln needs it's milk and we're gonna be delivering 148 litres of it! Now Steph, the usual delivery driver can bang through 200 litres in 2 hours. So you'd think we could make similar time with a reduced volume right?

Not even close! We dash about here there n everywhere, missing houses having to double/triple back.Sitting in traffic and generally having our knowledge of Steph being a damn good delivery driver reaffirmed.

Now here's what I wasn't expecting, nostalgia. I drove around every area that I had helped letter/canvass. Carlton, Gleed, Wragby, Burton, Riseholme, Doddington I think that's it...but each are holds a memory! Freezing cold hands, getting lost, hours of walking, posting, leap frogging, the complexity of having three people on one side of the road leap frogging! As a result of this oddness parts of Lincoln hold memories of different people!

We complete delivery in a staggering 4.5 hours :-O and head to the office. I make a half hearted effort at trying to kickstart a marketing list, eat lunch and go home at 13:00. Man I'm tired I should probs get some sleep

A few too many words...

Recently 5/9 of the people in the office I work in were made redundant. I'm usually the one who moves on for whatever reason. So for me this was all backwards and it left me confused and angry.

I'd only known this bunch for about five months but it hurt like hell, after I got over the initial shock I wanted to know what it was that had created such a strong bond. So I stared inward and backwards, then I wrote a few words to say at the sayonara night out we were having.

It has been recorded so forgive me if this isn't exactly as I said it but it is what I intended to say:

Evening, How is everyone tonight?
Now this does strike me as quite a bad idea, as I am in possession of the quietest voice in the entire office.

I am a man of few passions:

Working out: some of you may have had the ill fortune of engaging me on the topic. I can and will talk you into a state of quivering boredom about the gym, protein and muscle groups if given half the chance.

Facts: I retain and dispense them freely. Sorry again, I know this gets tedious really quickly.

Reflection: I spend many hours analysing every action/reaction etc.

Using my powers of reflection, which looks a lot like this.

The first thing that poped into my head was that I am terribly immature. <pause to write penis on Sarah's hand>

And of course, you are all sooo awesome!

But the little voice in my head was like "that's not good enough, go deeper!"

So I sat down and thought, then I stood up and thought and lastly I laid down and thought. Several hours later I snapped back to conciousness and realised that why I'm ever so fond of you all is because we've done some really weird stuff together!!!

Some examples:
Eleanor and I walked around an industrial estate handing out information on a local milk delivery service, for three hours!

All the lads mucked in and shovelled snow on many occasion's. I've delivered milk on several occasions. And this one time me n Swapnal headed out and I managed to hit not one but two stationary objects!

Sarah and I got to work extra early one day so we could head to a school n loiter outside the gates. Handing parents, who are obviously in a massive rush, info on milk!

Lots of lettering, canvassing, dropoffs, pick-ups, throwing a bottle around, paper aeroplanes, throwing a foam cow, throwing a foam ball, talking dbz. Soooo much stuff!

There is a lot of stuff there that I don't think I'll ever do again, certainly not in another office :( little sad at that if I'm honest! Suffice it to say that these unique experiences bonded us together.

I'm very grateful to have met you all and you've had quite the impact on me in the short time we worked together in that windowless office.

Now the sincere bit's over with I'm going to try n shoehorn in the phrases on the table into the end of this thing. Going forward I would like to encourage all of you to do some work!

You never know when or where a random fact may come in useful. For example you'd have to eat about 22 pounds of chocolate to kill you.

In life you'll have many opportunities to strike a pose. Whenever this opportunity presents itself remember to smoulder...

See it now: Contrast and compare!!!