Saturday 25 April 2015

MCU Marathon - Done

Some of you may have read this, that is my plan to rewatch the entirety of the MCU ahead of seeing Age of Ultron. If you want to read what happened on the day look for red or if you just want my review look for blue.


Something I could've done in 1045 minutes, if I'd followed my simultaneous, consecutive permutation, actually spanned over 15000 minutes i.e. eleven days.

Now this rewatch, initially, seemed a bit of a chore. I was doing it partly to hype myself up and partly because I don't really do anything childish anymore. I eat sensibly, drink rarely and sleep regularly. I am but a few steps away from arriving at full blown adulthood. Something I do not want, at all, so whenever an opportunity to do something that a an adult would definitely not do, I do it.

By viewing this lot again I gained an appreciation for them. I had made up my mind that the "weaker" films were terrible. When in fact they are fun enough and have a collection of good moments.

In my mind the weaker films were : Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3 and Thor 2.

Hulk - It's good just lose Betty Ross
Iron Man 2 - Also good just not anything new.
Iron Man 3 - He's too stupid in this one. But if you can get past that it's fun enough even with the awful mandarin twist.
Thor 2 - Fun but inconsequential

I think I was watching these as films, why? Because that's what they are doi! But this time round I watched them like I watch anything else, in bits throughout the day. Some of these are way too long Iron Man 3 and Thor 2, so breaking it up works well.

With the build up out of the way I can feel the suspense building for the climax, ewwww climax! I was flying solo to the cinema. Because sitting in a darkened room, in silence, is not my idea of being social. I did however experience unexpected awkwardness. I'd booked my ticket online and purposely picked a seat that was central and halfway forward. I'd also placed myself well away from any groups of people, I hate people. In cinemas, and come to think of it, in general. They chew, breathe, speak, move and leave after the film has frequent the toilets. If you can't regulate your fluid intake so you don't have to pee for a few hours then...

STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY CINEMA!

I get there, sit down and make a few notes about what I think will unfold. People arrive in pairs and groups taking their seats, nowhere near me. I am content sitting and waiting for the film to begin.

And then it all came crashing down! A pretty girl decides to sit next to me. When I say girl she is comparable in age to myself so mid to late twenties. There are numerous empty seats but apparently, this is the seat for her. Next to broad shouldered South Asian man, dressed all in black. I take a deep breath and chill the fuck out. This is a prime viewing location, so it's understandable that she'd want to sit here. I can still enjoy the film. I've still got an empty seat to my left. Five minutes later, I don't have an empty seat to my left. Another girl, even more attractive than the one on my right settles in to my left. I quell my rage, relax and gear up to initiate conversation with them. The lights go down and the screen lights up. The timing of the lighting/film starting c*ckblock was so perfect I end up stifling laughter.

So AOU - I thought it was ok. It's not as good as Avengers 1, Guardians or Captain America 2. But being fourth to that lot is nothing to be sniffed at. The action is good but it feels bloated by heart to hearts. And I'm not an idiot but I didn't really get Ultron's end game. If you want a reasonable review then you can get one here. That's an aussie fellow who goes by Mr. Sunday Movies. He knows comic books and movies, he's also an editor for comicbookmovie.com .

SPOILERS BELOW!

Let's start with the good stuff, the real stand out I would love to see that again stuff.
  • Veronica aka Hulkbuster - the variations, spares etc plus shooting down from space.
  • Post sceptre retrieval party aka revels - good to see them kicking it, language!
  • Ulysses Claw - fun scumbag for sure. He'll be back with a crazy metal arm perhaps in Civil War or Black Panther?
  • Ultron quote - "Keep your friends and enemies rich. Keep them both around to see which is which"
  • Ultron in his throne and then the reveal, he's enormous and Scarlet witch can't read him.
  • Quicksilver trying to grab Mjolnir
  • Hawkeye using his hawk eyes  to spot the Ultron truck and the kid at the end.
  • The Vision emerging
  • The Vision picking up Mjolnir
  • The Visions changing costume when he sees something he likes e.g. Thor's cape
  • The Vision thumping Ultron with the hammer
  • Anything with the Vision
  • The amazing slowmo sequence when they're fighting in a circle
  • The Cap + Thor combo attacks - Hammer shield shock wave and hammer batting shield
  • The whole what/who is worthy. Is a lift worthy? Is a coat rack worthy?
Is the coat rack worthy?
Is the coat rack trying to wield the power of Thor!?
Let the knit picking commence! It was good to start on an action sequence. In battle charging Baron Strucker's castle. I would have liked an explanation of the soldiers wielding electrified glowing things. Probably hydraish teseract weapons. What was Hawkeye doing on the ground? He's a sniper, he should've been loitering up high in a crowsnest position. And Black Widow is a sneaky, sneakster. Not a run and gunner.

Hulk is supposed to be hulking, Iron Man flying about and Thor also hulking. There were some obviously CGI moments in the opening scene which threw me out of the film.

Getting the staff was fast enough but I do not enjoy the fuzzy nature of Scarlet Witch's powers. They are what we need them to be is what I'm thinking. Urgh. You need her to mess with your mind, done. You need her to generate a force field done. Shoot some kind of reddish blast, done. Vaporise the enemy when Quicksilver dies, done. I did however enjoy the nod to her possible probability manipulation power, the shell not going off for 2 days.

Why did Ultron sync with the armour after Tony absconded for the evening? Initially I thought it was a convenient way to progress the plot. But now I reckon it's part of a larger plan. Thanos in the mid credit sequence with the glove. Now that was all a ploy to get Loki into Asgard so he could get the gauntlet. So it would stand to reason that the whole thing was playing out according to his plan.

There was some dumb defence. In the first Avengers film Captain America assigned them things to do according to their skill set. This time they stood in a circle and flailed. I realise that this was just so they could line up that epic shot of them fighting. But it was so dumb.

Ultron did appear limited. He was big but he wasn't Hulkishly strong or Quicksilver fast. Being mechanical he could've upgraded himself to the nth degree. But he didn't. There were a lot of hints at him being Stark's boy, he wanted to fail? Or he was just a device, plot or otherwise, to get them to where they are now.

This is the bit that kind of made me think he wanted/planned to fail. Remember when Thor his Tony with his lightning in Avengers 1? If not click here to rewatch on youtube, skip to about 1 minute. After the lightning Tony's suit is at 400% and he blasts Thor with extra strong hand blasts. Are those repulsors? He calls them flight stabilisers but... I don't know. The Ultron bots, based on the Iron Legion, who in turn are based on the Iron Man suits, should have the same capability!

The flying city at the end. The plan was to fly a mass of earth high enough and then drop it down thus causing an extinction level event. Now that's just sounds stupid. All the energy required to fly a a city high enough to make that happen. Setting up for failure.

Lose the pointless love story between Black Widow and Banner. I do not care. It came to nothing. She's getting on with it and he's back in hiding. Maybe what Scarlet Witch did leaves him in perma hulk mode. He did threaten her and get her in a choke hold. Seems to be deteriorating. He's still on earth and Civil War is coming up. He's a game breaker, whichever side secures the Hulk wins.

I think that's the end of my list of gripes with Avengers 2. Ultimately it was good but I'd yesterday I watched End of Watch, a documentary style, crime, drama, thriller. It's amazing and only 109 minutes long! Very up close with a claustrophobic feel. For most of it it's just two guys shooting the breeze going about their daily cop lives. Very well made, soooo much tension.

Going from something like that to the enormous scope of Avengers 2 was a shock to the system. Having had time to collect my thoughts I reckon I will enjoy this in the future. When I plan my next MCUM in May 2018, 3 more years!

I know Spiderman is wedged in here somewhere after Guardians 2 I reckon


Wednesday 15 April 2015

MCU Marathon Plan

Evening, I assume it'll be evening by the time I get around to releasing this suitably ambitious agenda. Age of Ultron is set to drop on the 22nd, 23rd or 24th but I'll not be seeing it until a little later because I am old and frail. When I get out of bed everything snaps, crackles and pops.

That' phase one and two, I forgot all about Ant Man!
Click to go to the MCU Wiki

At an earlier time I proposed an epic Marvel Cinematic Universe Marathon, MCUM if you will. My initial reaction was to whip out a spreadsheet and calculate the length of aforementioned MCUM. I listed the films and realised the task before me was way longer than I'd initially thought.

1Phase One: Avengers Assembled Run time, Minutes
1.1 Iron Man(2008) 126
1.2 The Incredible Hulk(2008) 112
1.3 Iron Man 2(2010) 124
1.4 Thor(2011) 115
1.5 Captain America: The First Avenger(2011) 124
1.6 Marvel's The Avengers(2012) 143
2Phase Two
2.1 Iron Man 3(2013) 130
2.2 Thor: The Dark World(2013) 112
2.3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014) 136
2.4 Guardians of the Galaxy(2014) 121
Total 1243

The total run time would be 1243 minutes or 20 hours and 43 minutes. Now that's not so long but I know that around Iron Man 3 I would lose the will to live.

1Phase One: Avengers Assembled IMDB rating
1.1 Iron Man(2008) 7.9
1.2 The Incredible Hulk(2008) 6.9
1.3 Iron Man 2(2010) 7.1
1.4 Thor(2011) 7
1.5 Captain America: The First Avenger(2011) 6.8
1.6 Marvel's The Avengers(2012) 8.2
2Phase Two
2.1 Iron Man 3(2013) 7.3
2.2 Thor: The Dark World(2013) 7.1
2.3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014) 7.8
2.4 Guardians of the Galaxy(2014) 8.2

I then drew up a plan to watch the stronger films but to watch the weaker ones simultaneously in groups of three. My personal view is that Iron man, Captain America 1, The Avengers, Captain America 2 and Guardians are the strongest. I enjoy Hulk, Thor and Iron Man 2 but they are not so great. Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 drive me to distraction.

That's what the revised running order would have looked like.
  1. Iron Man
  2. Hulk + Iron Man 2 + Thor - Simultaneously reduced run time from 351 mins to 124 mins
  3. Captain America 1
  4. Avengers
  5. Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 - Simultaneously reducing  total run time from 242 mins to 130 mins
  6. Captain America 2
  7. Guardians
This would cut the run time by 339 minutes to 904 minutes or 15 hours and 4 minutes. Whilst that is much more manageable I would switch off around the 10 hour mark, when Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 are playing I would zone out and not enjoy the rest of it.

To try and make it clearer I've colour coded the grouped films. Green for solo and yellow for simultaneous play. It looks horrendous I know.

1Phase One: Avengers Assembled Run time, Minutes Reduced run time, Minutes
1.1 Iron Man(2008) 126 126
1.2 The Incredible Hulk(2008) 112
1.3 Iron Man 2(2010) 124 124
1.4 Thor(2011) 115
1.5 Captain America: The First Avenger(2011) 124 124
1.6 Marvel's The Avengers(2012) 143 143
2Phase Two

2.1 Iron Man 3(2013) 130 130
2.2 Thor: The Dark World(2013) 112
2.3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014) 136 136
2.4 Guardians of the Galaxy(2014) 121 121
Total 1243 904

I then thought I could split it in two, phase one and phase two. Keeping the simultaneous play, it's too good not to use. Day one would be longer than day two.

1Phase One: Avengers Assembled Run time, Minutes Reduced run time, Minutes
1.1 Iron Man(2008) 126 126
1.2 The Incredible Hulk(2008) 112
1.3 Iron Man 2(2010) 124 124
1.4 Thor(2011) 115
1.5 Captain America: The First Avenger(2011) 124 124
1.6 Marvel's The Avengers(2012) 143 143
Total 744 517
2Phase Two

2.1 Iron Man 3(2013) 130 130
2.2 Thor: The Dark World(2013) 112
2.3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014) 136 136
2.4 Guardians of the Galaxy(2014) 121 121
Total 499 387

Day 1: 517 minutes = 8 hours and 37 minutes
Day 2: 387 minutes = 6 hours and 27 minutes.

A weekend task that is eminently doable. Here's some straw to break this camels back. I am working, if you can call my investment hocus pocus working. Plus I'm studying for a resit of my current nemesis F3. In good conscience I can't commit that much time in one go, burn through an entire weekend of potential studying. I say potential because I am an nth level procrastinator.

With all those lofty ideas out of the way I've settled into a pace akin to a leisurely stroll. That is to say that I'll be watching one or two a day in the run up to Age of Ultron! Lucky for me I've got the phase 1 box set and Iron Man 3 is available on Netflix. The remaining three phase two films are a reasonable £9.99 from Amazon instant and Google play. That does add up to £30 all for the sake of a leisurely MCUM. But I'll no doubt rewatch these over and over again. So I'll get my money's worth.

Planned view date 1Phase One: Avengers Assembled
15/04/15 1.1 Iron Man(2008)
16/04/15 1.2 The Incredible Hulk(2008)
17/04/15 1.3 Iron Man 2(2010)
18/04/15 1.4 Thor(2011)
19/04/15 1.5 Captain America: The First Avenger(2011)
20/04/15 1.6 Marvel's The Avengers(2012)

2Phase Two
21/04/15 2.1 Iron Man 3(2013)
22/04/15 2.2 Thor: The Dark World(2013)
23/04/15 2.3 Captain America: The Winter Soldier(2014)
24/04/15 2.4 Guardians of the Galaxy(2014)

So there it is my master plan for rewatching a bunch of films in time for the second Avengers flick.

Saturday 31 January 2015

Festivity!!!

Does this happen around the world? Probably. I am of course referring to the concentrated annual outbreak of festivity that is Christmas + New year. An excuse to party? I love to party and boy did I. In a two week window I gained an astonishing 5kg or 11 lbs. That's what happens when you spend every waking hour with cheese and or crackers wedged in your mouth.

I wasn't just eating, I was of course gaming and watching far too many films. A past time that used to take me to the cinema but owing to a cash flow issue, I have no cash, and no films coming out that really motivated me to get in gear to sit in a darkened room for hours on end. Scratch that...Birdman, I want to see Birdman and I've got a free ticket! The ticket is to see anything at any time but I kind of feel like I have to see something good or I'm not really getting the most bang for my buck. I wonder if that phrase has it's roots in prostitution, either that or fireworks. Maybe explosives in general.

I've just googled it and it stems from 1960's American politics, urgh politics. Thanks to some happy accidents I had access to three on demand streaming services: Now TV movies, Amazon Prime Instant Video and Netflix. This coupled with the return of my broski from his medical hermitage resulted in us watching upwards of 30 films in a two week period. If I maintained that pace all year I'd get through a mind bottling 780 million films a year. Only out by a factor of a million...

This is not a comprehensive list, Amazon don't seem to list the stuff you've previously watched! Gonna do a line, of coke, about each one.

This is only here to break up the block of text a little. Will Explain after the list :-D, scroll down.

Full credit to GoldenLegend for the artwork, you can find more of his stuff here.

Winter Soldier - three times! must watch with this commentary - By Mason and Mr. Sunday Movies
Wreck It Ralph - Lots of nostalgia to be had, not just for kids.
Fast & Furious 6 - It's preposterous and I love it!
Amazing Spider Man 2 - Baffling and terrible, villain overload, magic/poison blood...
A Clockwork Orange - Did not grab me right away, dnf. Will no doubt return to it.
This is the End - Many famous people not all that compelling, dnf.
Frozen - It was ok but did not live up to the mahoosive hype.
The Heat - Fun enough even with the sickly sweet ending.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Watched it to see Capt'n Jack ride a sinking ship into harbour.
The Lone Ranger - Pretty fun, more so because of two in jokes involving smoke and crows.
Kick Ass 2 - supposed to see this mid 2013 but wrecked myself, apologies to all involved
The Lego Movie - Fantastic :D
Darkman - Great stuff, early Liam Neeson.
Elysium - Was not expecting it to be so good!
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - Classic, Steve Martin + John Candy = fantastic.
The Monuments Men - Kinda boring, dnf.
Ride Along - Funny enough, think I only enjoyed it because I'm an Ice Cube/Kevin Hart fan.
Iron Man 3 - Not great, but you already knew that.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Awesome, whimsical and there are men with beards.
Star Trek Into Darkness - Good so long as you don't think too much about it. Magic blood, urgh.
Pacific Rim - Giant robots fighting giant monsters = awesome. The rest not so much.
Thor: The Dark World - More Thor and Loki is always welcome, no sense of danger though.
The Wolf of Wall Street - Insane and funny.
X Men 1st Class - Good stuff especially with this commentary - By Mason and Mr. Sunday Movies
Advent Children - Good fights not as great as I remembered it.
Filth - Yet to finish it but it was compelling stuff..
Captain America - Punching Nazis, magic shield etc. what's not to like?
RoboCop - Reboot, plough through the first 20 minutes it gets a lot better.
Superbad - Nostalgic early morning viewing.
Iron Man 2 - Pretty good but ends in the same way as the first, probs studios fault for rushing it.
Baseketball - Classic.
Django - Superb Tarantino and even better Christopher Waltz!
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang - Downey Jnr's return and I finally got to see it all the way through.
Hangover 3 - More of a chore as I'd seen the first two.
We are the Millers - Dnf but that's because my free trial ran out. What I saw was promising stuff.
Man of Steel - Bit of a downer but worth a watch.
Dallas Buyers Club - Jared Leto is a genius!
Rocky Horror - Fun songs, did not live up to hype but I want to see it live!
Argo - Very compelling, tonnes of tension. No real character development but still awesome.
The Crow - Brandon Lee's last film, died on set.

Italics means I've seen it before, dnf means did not finish. I wanted to elaborate on one, The Crow, anyone seen it? If you have send me a telegram, carrier pigeon or you could break the mould and leave a comment! Don't leave a comment, I'll get obsessed with comments if you do. Brandon Lee's crow looks like this:

Why so serious???

Remind you of anyone? Kick ass aussie fellow...was really coming into his stride...wore white face paint...once portrayed a fake knight, generic badass and a cowboy. I am of course referring to the late, great Heath Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight as the Joker. You can use google, give it a gander, make up not so similar. But watching Lee's performance it's clear to see where a lot of the inspiration for the 2008 Joker came from. The Crow came out in 1994!

Back to the image from before the list. Scroll up, mentally or literally, did you see the "scroll down" in the caption? That's the logo for the Weekly Planet Podcast, the official podcast of Comicbookmovie.com, if you don't trust my links google them etc. The podcast is presented by James, Editor at Comicbookmovie.com, and Nick Mason, all round funny guy?/knower of many comic book related tings.

Find him here...
I first came across these two via Mr Sunday Movies youtube channel, James' alter ego on the interweb. If you scroll all the way down there's some embedded Batman goodness for your viewing pleasure. All the videos in the playlist are built around excerpts from the podcast so I was naturally inclined to listen to more. I started with the most recent and eventually went back and listened from the very beginning. 66 plus episodes and I've not been disappointed by any of them! So give them a listen, or don't. But definitely do! Because if you vaguely like comic books, superheroes and or films then you will be happy as Larry.

I was going to wrap this up after Larry, I mean how can I possibly top that? But then Phaseler swung into town. This is of course the ferociously hairy, demon from New Zealand...almost rhymes right? For those who don't know I used to live with this guy and he's like Walter White, in so much as he's well good at chemistry. And the name is an amalgamation of his first and last name. He was heading up north to check on the wall and visit his elder sister, Chaseler. She's married so I don't think she's Chaseler any more but I have no idea what the surname of her husband is. Pretty sure his first name is John, Jon, Jean, Jhon seems like a top bloke, chiselled face, strong handshake. I was leaving while the couple were arriving for a swift drink before heading home.

Rewinding back to the beginning of the day it was windy. Well the wind had been ripping across the beautiful British landscape since the day before, Friday the 9th of January. I had been outside to fuss my dog and feed him his evening meal. As I headed for the door I felt a firm push upon my bare neck, like someone was pressing an enormous hand into it. I turned sharply on my heels, little too sharply as I lost my balance had to steady myself on a nearby ladder. Was it some past foe come to wreak their bloody revenge upon my aged self? Was it the grim reaper finally come to take me away? Was it the mad Scotsman in the blue box? Nope it was the wind.

Wind related imagery to break up block text
In passing I let my folks know what I was planning for the next evening, trip to Doncaster for a catch up with the chemist and Chris, top bloke and kick ass photographer. He is in many ways like Jimmy Olsen in so much as he is good with a camera. Naturally my parents had hyped the wild wind into something that would tear me and my car from the countryside before being deposited in a field. I ignored their warnings mostly because I am petulant child. Setting off I had a little trouble getting to the car as the wind was so strong, I had trouble walking in a straight line. But once on the road not a wobble.

Arriving at the venue I bung a text to P n C before ordering up a combo platter. I sit down and stick Brooklyn 99 on my phone. Before I know it a strange man is haling me as he approacheth. As my aged eyes adjust and my mind compensates for the countless centuries I realise that this is Phaseler! I have to awkwardly unhook myself from my phone before going for handshake/fist bump and settling on the customary man hug. He immediately comments on how much smaller I am, since he last saw me I have misplaced some 10kg in bodyweight. I was indeed once a horse of a man, now more of a...I have no idea what animal aptly conveys my current physical state. Perhaps a donkey with a bad back?

He's timed his arrival well and my combo platter lands soon after. It was ok but you get a bit of everything thus it is not a great way to start a meal. I inquire about the absence of Huan and if he'll be heading back to Mordor. He explains about something called a verbal defence of his thesis. Some people check that you wrote it by asking you questions etc. Following that he'll be crowned the king of New Zealand, pretty sure that's what he said. And then the last member of our trio arrived.

A dramatic recreation of our parley...
We were well into the combo platter by this point. Chris had lost a load of weight as well, he was quite the specimen when we first met but owing to numerous injuries he'd lost his ripped physique. But he's back to being ripped and had freshly handed in his notice to pursue photography, awesome sauce. By pursue I mean career/business not like a predator stalking it's prey.

Chris had posted and update informing all that he was watching 10 Things I Hate About You the other night. This was met with an onrush of generic beration, not a word apparently but you know what I mean right? Some JGL talk later we arrived at the actress who played Bianca Stratford, also played Alex Mack in The Secret World of Alex Mack. Paul in forms me that the name of the girl from Smallville is also Alex Mack. I am vehement that that is not the case. Because I misunderstood what he meant. He meant the name of the actress who played Chloe Sullivan is Allison Mack.

I whip out my phone and furiously google the two so as to prove myself right. I explain that I've got 100GB of data with the limited edition sim. Turns out that's way more data than I could ever use in a month, especially with all the free wifi. I think we got on to the gerbil's that Chris kept, long dead. He now has an albino ferret. In the time between our meeting and me writing this monstrosity the aforementioned wind threw open the hutch of Chris' albino amigo. Being a curious so and so he went exploring and was eventually found several days later in a neighbour's garden. Turns out I know most of my mate's middle names. Why? because I care that's why!

There was talk of boardgames, something I enjoy but rarely actually get involved in. Partly because I am short on the time required to properly partake and mostly because I am ferociously impatient. Like a honey badger in a queue. I actually zone out and realise I should head home. My aged body has started to nod off. Only an hour so I down some orange juice, take a selfie and bolt.